#adding to this bc again i was given thoughts
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mblue-art · 1 year ago
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BAD SANSUARY // [14] tears for owl-bones's event !
"...Killer, it just looks like I have running mascara."
"it's such a look though."
messy kisses and post-nuzzles
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iampikachuhearmeroar · 2 years ago
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you apply for several jobs on seek (my preferred job site), indeed or jora. a couple get back to you and say "please do our preemptive psych (aptitude) tests/chat bot/fun games assessment/s with an online video interview (within the next 48hrs).... so that we can assess your viability for this role."
you do the bs chatbot/psych test/automated video interview etc etc. some of these give you an instant response after doing them, which you kinda like.... but also really absolutely hate. every test result you get back basically tells you that you're a walking contradiction: you LOVE to dominate conversations, which means your co-workers are somehow terrified of you. so please learn to PIPE FUCK DOWN, LISTEN AND TAKE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS/FEEDBACK etc (which you do anyway). however, you are also EXTREMELY SHY and goal-oriented.... which means your productivity is moderately ok, but doing just a bit more will make you a go-getter.... but uh. have we told you that your coworkers and clients will NEVER get to know you deeply?? so, learn to speak up and make friends in the workplace and also have good client relationships 😊!
wait! wait! we're not done tearing you limb from limb yet!!! have you considered that your productivity is actually awful because you're so easily distracted and don't like routine??? have you considered that this lack of attention can ruin your KPI achievement targets.... and single-handedly utterly destroy the performance efforts of the ENTIRE team and company???? we suggest focusing on streamlining your workflow and productivity habits.... and totally NEVER getting distracted EVER, so YOU make US money and not the other way round 😤😡. also, maybe apply for something that involves a whole load of rules and stable methods (bc we conversely think you're also a very stable and consistent person emotionally), not an ever changing admin position!!! (BTW: we'll never tell you that these "rule loving" jobs include anywhere between $10,000 of study (at the very least for tafe) to $30,000+ for a degree (at the most) or SEVERAL years of work experience.... which you very obviously don't have for even a junior position, let alone a middle management or senior position).
hey, we're nearly done! we swear 😰! don't leave yet... if you're still breathing that is 😅😂!!! isn't this so much fun 🙃?!! congrats on being able to analyse the complex relationships in teamwork environments... if only you could collaborate- which you do well, actually, because you're super laid-back (everyone wants someone like you on their team 💞..... just not us though lol 😋) - and LEAD, maybe???? but also DON'T be a leader, and try to really achieve "above and beyond" (despite what we said in the job description).... because we don't want you thinking that you're actually able to do anything of meaning to you... and that you can really achieve your said big goals, with us in tow 🙃. finally, NEVER be laid-back in the work environment. we construe this as being lackadaisical (which is a BIG, intelligent word for L A Z Y, if you didn't already know that 🤓! also.... are you a young millennial or gen z??? hehehe! we've got you all figured out 😎) which means you'll NEVER do YOUR work to OUR fake desired standard/s anyway 🙃.
PHEW! that was a lot! thanks! have a wonderful day. now GO FUCK YOURSELF 😊' [one more teenie tiny thing: please give us feedback on this reading! how did we do??? 😊]
you then read these bullshit results to a family member. they are HORRIFIED at the utter lack of respect, transparency, care, trust, integrity and human interaction in the hiring processes of the modern job market, mostly for the office admin and retail jobs that you've been applying for. when ironically, all of those attributes you just listed above (and sometimes more) are the so-called values/mission/goals of EVERY firm/business etc that you've applied for.
the downright rudeness and callousness of being absolutely torn to shreds by a shitty little bot; for a big retail chain's christmas casual position, that they use to save time to cut in-person interview times.... all to be told that that's why you'll never be a check-out chick for 3 months over christmas.... is fucking awful and deflating. (although, not that it matters. you didn't really want it anyway. you tell yourself). being told that you won't/can't sit on a computer and phone, using word, excel and the business's CRM all day.... doing admin for what feels the 10 billionth fuckin local office or government dept/council job, or other fucking small local places that you've applied for.... all bc "you have big dreams" or "you love to talk. but not at your job" or whatever other condescending, demotivating and backhanded bullshit that they've said in these test results... is humiliating, depressing and undermining as all fuck.
all bc you selected the wrong answers in a "fun mini-game" about how to reply to work colleagues in the company chat program, whatever that may be. or all the other shitty psych/aptitude test mini games that i played for big firms for uni grad programs back in uni in 2017. or, you've selected the wrong answers in a more ~traditional~ psych/aptitude test for a local educational institution like a uni or a technical/trade college.
it makes you question what the actual goddamned fuck the HR people actually want. what the actual fuck the bot is trained to snuff out and highlight and gush all over in someone's resume, interview and test answers, like a big corporate cum stain. are they really as "fair", "consistent" and "equitable" or whatever the fuck else benevolent words companies use to describe them??? are they ethical??? am i going insane??? would it be healthier for me just to jump off a cliff into the ocean filled with blood hungry cartoon sharks circling below??? would it be better to [enter, pursued by a bear] when i FINALLY get another interview.... if i EVER get another one; just to serve justice???? if it's a dog eat dog world, why don't i just become a golden retriever that just wants to eat treats and make dog and human friends on the daily??? if the world has gone to the dogs or the bears or sharks; wouldn't it just be fucking nice to bring one along with you, to make a point????
it's utter shit out here, lads [gender neutral]. we're all fucking tired and dead inside. it's why "no one wants to work anymore", as the piss-baby weak employers LOVE to bitch and moan. but: why work when you're disrespected from the fucking outset??? why work when you realise that you'll NEVER have the upper hand in any-fucking-thing??? why work when you're ignored constantly or even ghosted by employers??? the questions go on and on and on. "stop being deafeatist!" or whatever other word/phrase i can hear the "no one wants to work anymore!"crowd shout. no. im tired. we're tired. we're motherfucking done.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.
You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.
You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.
Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.
#ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes#ilona's work dilemmas#ilona's work thoughts#i fucking hate indeed and jora#they ALWAYS list jobs WAY beyond a job ad's closing date#fuck off with your 30+ days up to like literally 6 month old job openings indeed and jora#why the FUCK are they still up????#and this is why i'll always be fucking angry as fuck that my old boss REFUSED to give me a good reference call back in july#she just couldnt keep her mouth shut and be happy that i'd been given a full position upgrade from admin trainee to admin officer#all bc i didnt S P E C I F I C A L L Y listen to her and her job suggestion (support worker)#so you must dump out her application and tell her to apply for that instead :) why WONT SHE LISTEN TO ME???!!!! im perfect#and i KNOW whats BEST FOR HER AND SHE DOESNT BC SHE'S STUPID AND SELFISH AND DOESNT WANNA GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY...#OR CARE ABOUT THE SHORTAGE OF WORKERS IN OUR FIELD#like yeah this is why social/community services has a high burnout/turnover rate and every other guilt trippy thing they told me there#bc bosses are so fucking controlling and bitchy (and apparently blameless) that it's not worth ever dealing with again (and so are clients)#*some clients not all#if she'd kept her mouth shut i would've been happy in that job for a while before changing again tbh.#and not stuck in the hellscape that is job hunting and now centrelink (aussie social services) jobseeker payment purgatory#(even though i shouldve applied for it MUCH earlier than august 31 lmao)#ANYWAY.#ilona makes a diabtribe/story/speech on a big post#ilona adds to a big post#shut up ilona
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carbonfiction · 4 months ago
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First bloom
Summary: Frank has a moment of vulnerability as he gifts you flowers for the first time.
Happy valentines Besties!! <33
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Warnings?: whole lotta fluff really. nothing much to add other than Frank giving reader flowers for the first time and being a little bashful about it. (M' a sucker for a big, gruff, kinda angry man being a sweetheart to the person he loves alright?) possible horrible writing- a girl be struggling..
Pretty obvious buuut with this im adding frankie to my 'will write for' list bc i am, at my very core and before most fixations i ever had, a frank castle girlie.. With that said my normal Logan stuff will remain!! but i thought I'd get this lil thing out while it feels good in my mind and before i make a million changes- writers block has got my ass again but asks are still open!
Masterlist. Words: 1.1k
Franks feet feel heavy in his boots, each step thudding on the concrete. The streets are quiet, winter air crisp and cool as he digs a hand in the pocket of his jeans as he goes. Keep one hand warm and the other? Well.. That one feels pretty cold and yet, strangely, a little clammy at the same time.
In Franks grasp rests a bunch of colourful flowers; lillies, roses, some little delicate buds he doesnt recall the name of for decoration. 'Oh those? Those are called Babys breath frank!' He hopes you'll tell him with a beam later.
The rose thorns prod at his palm, his grip on the bundle of stems tense, but he finds it doesn't hurt the longer he walks. They just.. Ground him slightly as he treads closer to home. Closer to you.
Theres a peace that settles within him in your presence, he finds; one that seems to dim the darkness that swirls in his heart. You ease the ache that so often sits inside him, Never erasing it, no one ever could but.. You lessen it. Always willing to take the weight from his broad shoulders, if only for a little.
And for that? Frank is greatful.
He knows he can be alot; his grumpiness piled almost as high as his baggage. But you dont ever seem to mind.
You embrace him on the days he needs it but cant find it in himself to ask and keep him at arms length when you see in his eyes that being loved feels stifling; its just how life is with him. Yet you do it all with that soft smile and gentle hand, the polar opposite to his rough lines and jagged edges. Keeping him sane on the days when he believes himself to be anything but.
The hand he dug into his pocket seems clammier now as he pulls out his set of keys, the lock clicking open moments later. Its just flowers castle, pull it together he thinks, stepping back into the warm embrace of your apartment. Given girls flowers before for christ sake.
"sweetheart?" he calls out, gruff voice booming through the hall.
You jump slightly at the sound, placing down the wooden spoon that you had been stirring the fragrant pot on the stove with. Voice calling back "in the kitchen!" with a significantly softer tone.
You wait with your body leaning against the counter, observing how the bulk of him rounds the corner. A large arm behind his back; still in his coat. A suspicious rustle of cellophane filling the kitchen as he shifts on his feet, but still you grin at the sight.
"Got everything you needed" he says, hand digging through his coat pocket with various clinks and russles. In his large hand he pulls out a collection of little packets and jars, placing them on the counter. refills of various spices, salts and even a little box of yeast pouches for bread making sit in a heap; things you were running low on earlier.
you beam that perfect smile at him, murmering softly as you step forward, leaning up on your toes to kiss his stubled cheek. "Perfect, thank you frankie"
He accepts the kiss with a soft hum, dipping his head for you to reach.
But still that arm remains behind his back. He almost hopes you dont notice.. But you do, he can tell.
"Uh Frank?.." you start a little cautiously with that same grin, however this time theres a little glint of confusion added as you step back just slightly. "What are you hiding?"
You stew in his silence for a moment, a crease wedging its way back between his brows. Handsome face suddenly filled with... trepidation?
"Frank.." you start again, a little more seriously as you step closer. By now you're fully expecting something bad; that someones been gunning for him again and hes hurt. That there must be blood soaking through his coat and thats why hes hiding.
But as quick as he paused, he sighs, broad shoulders falling just slightly. that same arm once hidden, now outstretched infront of you. The colourful bouquet at eye level as you take it in, a tiny gasp slipping past your lips.
"Frank castle did.." you begin, hand coming to join his on the delicate stems. Your voice is hushed and a little shakey as your eyes scan up and across his face. "Did you buy me flowers?"
His head moves in a little nod, chest puffing out just slightly as he releases his grip; completly surrendering both the flowers and himself.
"Yeah i, uh.." he gruffs, thinking outloud before he stops; practically looking everywhere but at you. The pot on the stove, the cups on the sink, even his boots. Its then he realises that he's almost afraid to see some semblance of rejection in your gaze; that he's missteped or you dont like them. That this sense of peace you wash over him is about to be swept away; wide eyes and incredulous tone not helping his state.
Frank takes another breath, steeling himself; his walls building back up, before he simply settles on a shake of his head and a huff. "Doesn't matter, 's stupid alright"
"No, no its not stupid." you rush out, remaining close as you eye the flowers in your hand and then him again. "They're beautiful frank.."
"Saw em and they reminded me of you so..." he coughs, a large hand scratching at the back of his neck. "thought I'd get em.."
Frank shifts on his feet, stance widening as you suddenly throwing yourself into his arms and grip him tightly; the Boquet landing on the counter seconds before your impact to his chest. You hold him like that for a few quiet moments before you lean back, resting on your tip toes as you cup a rough cheek.
"Thank you.." you whisper softly, honesty pure in your words. A little bashful grin across your lips as you lean up a little higher. "I love them, really. They're perfect"
Frank gazes down at you gently, a finger of his own brushing over your skin as he leans in, kissing you with such unspoken emotion it could knock you off your feet- if he wasnt already keeping you up.
"Yeah sweetheart? Really think they are all that?" he murmers, forehead against yours, the air of unease beginning to slip from your reaction. Enjoying the endearing heat of your gaze.
Your lips meet his in another tender kiss as you press the words against him; though they hold a hidden, deeper meaning. "Yeah Frank.. I really do"
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shouyuus · 7 months ago
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okay…okay TRULY SORRY (am not) for adding onto shirtless sleeper hc once again buuut roommate!Vi waking up hours after the encounter to an empty apartment and a lightbulb-bright idea — it’s been sooo long since she’s made you blush this hard and worried she’s been losing the knack of it, but now it’s like you’ve given her a whole new arsenal of ideas to turn you pretty pink
cue to you running into a various degrees of undressed vi in your apartment in the upcoming weeks (all instances paired with grinning, half-assed excused like ‘i just got out of the shower, i running was hot, i just got a new tattoo, i needed to check my form etc etc)
(pls everyone put ur hands together for our lord and savior the shirtless sleeper anon -- they're single-handedly feeding us all)
18+, mdni, college roommate!vi cinematic universe
college roommate!vi who walks out of the bathroom, steam billowing out behind her, a tiny pink-stained towel wrapped around her waist (it's so low it's seconds from falling off), oh so casually bumping into you in the hallway, her hair still damp and trickling water down her neck and the tattoo snaking up her shoulder, her skin gleaming with steam --
"oops, sorry princess -- forgot to bring a shirt into the shower --"
but makes no move to cover her tits. you jerk your eyes up to her face, your own cheeks burning.
"n-no sorry i -- uh, i came back from study group a bit earlier than i thought it would uhm -- i should've texted or something --"
"no biggie, princess. so, did study group go well? you were complaining about some asshole last week who --"
but you really can't focus bc did she change her nipple piercings out? those don't look like the same ones from --
"hello? earth to pretty girl?"
"uhhhhh -- sorry?"
vi has the audacity to smirk as you blink rapidly, swallowing hard, finally looking back up at her.
"i just asked you a question, sweetness. gonna answer me or...?" her eyes flicker down to her own tits.
you feel the inexplicable urge to slam your face into the hallway wall.
"sorry uhm i just remembered i've got -- an assignment that i -- sorry --" you push passed her, shouldering into your room and slamming the door, pressing your back to it the moment it's closed and sliding down to the floor. faintly, you hear the sound of vi's little chuckle as she walks into her own room, but you never hear the door close. a second later, loud rock music starts blasting and you let out a long breath.
barely three days later, you find college roommate!vi lounging on the living room sofa with a vape and what looks like fresh black boxers, the white waistband accentuating the muscles of her abs, her eyes a little hazy as you walk in and nearly drop your books at the sight.
"hey sweets -- can you do me a favor and grab that charger cord?"
you stare for a few seconds before glancing at the white usb-c cord not even a foot away on the dining table. gingerly, you reach over and hand it to her, trying very hard not to look down at her chest, at the way her nipple rings catch the dim light when she breathes in and out.
she lets a puff of smoke wreathe out from her lips, sucking in through her nose.
"mm -- thanks cupcake. this thing was getting low."
"r-right..." you press your thumbs into your workbook, the plastic cover crinkling beneath your touch; you glance up at the cracked window before letting your eyes wander back to vi, still sitting half-naked on the couch, "uh... is the fan broken? or..."
"huh? nah -- i just always run hot. y'don't mind, do you, sweets?"
you chew on your lower lip for a second before shaking your head and making your way across the room.
"it's -- it's fine. just -- uhm -- just close the window after you're done, okay?"
vi catches you eye and winks, letting out another thin stream of smoke from between her lips. and, not for the first time, you wonder how they'd taste, if they'd be soft enough to kiss.
and then not even a week after that, you catch college roommate!vi working out in her room, but at least she's got a sports bra on this time, the only thing is, she leaves her door wide opened, whereas before, she'd at least close it enough to only leave a sliver.
you catch yourself pausing at the sight, at the flex of her forearms as she curls a set of bright pink weights, at the thick tug muscle in her shoulders and back as she puffs out a breath, sweat slicking down the long expanse of her back tattoo.
you swallow.
"might wanna take a picture. heard they last longer."
you squeak, jumping back only for your back to hit the tv stand behind you, nearly knocking it sideways. you reach out to steady it, turning around to find vi watching you with a smirk the size of texas slung across her lips.
"i -- i was just --" you flounder for something to say -- you'd wanted to ask her something, what was it? "a few friends and i are going out tonight -- uhm... i was wondering if -- if you wanted to come with us?"
vi finishes her last rep, setting down the weights. you feel yourself hiss out a breath you hadn't even remembered holding. your head feels light as she makes her way over to you, leaning up against the doorframe with an easy grin.
"sure. but on one condition."
you frown, blinking up at her storm-gray eyes. but in the halfway light of your shared apartment, you could swear that just sometimes, they look like the palest shade of blue.
"what... condition?"
she cocks her head, making no move to hide the way her eyes flick from your eyes to your lips and back up again.
"don't let anyone else make you blush like that tonight, hm?"
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temptress-writes · 8 months ago
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📜Roll Call
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A/N: my favourite, moody professor. feral. he's actually such a twat.
Content Warnings: coarse language
Sexual Content: Degradation, spitting, light bondage, spanking, slapping, age gap (10 years)
Word Count: 21.5k
Now, sit straight for Professor Styles.
***
Oxford University, 1992.
“Are you actually going to put the effort into my class or do I have to get you a tutor?”
It wasn’t what she was hoping for after handing in an assignment. She fought back the hot tears that sprung into her eyes and hoped he didn’t see how wet they were. She was exhausted, overworked to the bone trying to balance her studies and a part-time job.
He’d handed back the papers at the end of his class, and not long after escaped to his office down the hall. She’d chased after him, fumbling to keep up with him while her mind was jumbled over the failed grade. She’d done plenty of assignments with him and he’d passed every single one.
“I… I don’t understand. I studied the material—“
“Well, clearly you didn’t study it enough. The years are all mixed up. If you want to be the historian that you say you do, that usually comes with not mixing up dates. I mean,” he held the paper in front of him, reciting the words she’d written. “Julius Caesar was assassinated in March, 43 BC. Incorrect. He was assassinated in March, 44 BC. You should know this, it’s basic stuff.”
“I’m sorry, I swear it was a simple mistake—“
“Simple mistakes will cost you your grade. In fact, it has.”
Her heart dropped. “Is there anything I can do? I can fact-check and write it all over again. Please. I want to pass this paper. I—I need to pass.”
He was always this mean. This… hurtful. He had no leniency towards so much as a falsely placed comma, and she could see her incorrect information pained him deeply. He was right. It was basic stuff, and internally she knew it. However, she’d been slammed with studying and had simply made a mistake.
But he had no patience, no care if anyone in his class was overwhelmed with what he pushed onto them. He’d been given the same load when he himself was studying. In his view, being pushed to the brink was what made him great at what he did. So, he showed his students the same respect as his professors once had.
“What makes you think I have the time to give you special treatment, Violet? I have enough papers to grade as is, adding yours to the pile all because you made a mistake will only set me back.”
“It’s one paper.” She begged, near on in tears again. She eyed the plaque that had his name engraved in the gold, avoiding his eyes.
Leaning back in his chair, he eyed her through his wide-framed glasses. He tapped his fingers against his thighs, clad in soft beige plaid pants. Her eyes fluttered towards his sweater, the striped shirt underneath. She lost herself in the pattern as he mulled in his thoughts.
“I want it on my desk tomorrow morning by nine o’clock.”
She could have jumped at the relief she felt. “Thank you, sir.”
“Just this once. I won’t be so easy on you if it happens again.”
“It won’t happen again.” She grinned, grabbing the paper from his outstretched hand.
"Since you're rewriting it—do you want my honest opinion?"
"Of course." She whispered, always one to accept constructive criticism. She knew he wouldn't hold back and she mentally braced herself.
"I was bored reading your paper."
She gulped, blinking in surprise but he continued, not concerned about hurting her feelings. That wasn’t what he was there for—to teach her.
"I expected more from you, Violet. To be frank, I’m disappointed. There was no depth to it. No excitement. You did the very bare minimum. You gave me a bunch of facts, with some of the dates mixed around. What’s more, is that nothing about this piece made me want to read it. Tell me, what makes history so exciting?"
"Uh, I guess learning about—"
"The stories. The stories make history so exciting. Stories of the people, their daily lives, and the fight for survival and victory. History would be nothing without the stories it tells."
"Yeah, I understand, now. You're right."
"Of course I’m right. Retelling history has to be gripping. Write it again and pull me in."
His eyes scanned over his pager, alerting him that a staff meeting was about to commence. He stretched out his neck, grabbing his folder and eyeing her as he stood.
He hated the way his eyes observed her frame. Soft corduroy pants, a graphic t-shirt of a band he had never heard of. Her hair was in a bouncy ponytail, half splayed over her shoulder as she twirled a lock between her fingers.
What he didn’t hate was how she feared him. Her eyes were wide with intimation as she stared at him. She was clearly so desperate to please him, not wanting to disappoint him or let him down.
She wanted to do this paper for him as much as she did for her grades. That’s why his tactic was to be cruel. To keep her at arm’s length, but also to keep his mind at bay from wandering into risky territory.
"Is there anything else?"
"Oh, that's all—"
"Great. I have somewhere to be."
The expectant look he gave her threw her off, but she very quickly gathered his meaning. She adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder and gave him a soft smile, hoping to lessen his harsh expression, yet all to no avail. His expression remained the same. She turned to leave, barely getting through the threshold before his voice reached out.
“Nine o’clock, Violet.”
“Yes, professor.”
She left his office, winding her way through campus, smiling at her classmates as she passed them. Oxford University. Rich with history and success. Abundant with opportunities fit for her dreams. It knew no bounds of imagination, with its old and infamous buildings and all the tales held within them.
There was something about history that made her feel alive. Reliving the past through depictions, art, studies, and discoveries. It was what drove her.
So when she’d landed her dream Ancient History class, taught by a very highly adored historian, Harry Styles, she knew that she had a lot to prove.
She raced back to her flat after a stop at the supermarket for brainfood and energy drinks. She got stuck in, completely starting again, double and triple-checking her facts to be sure.
Her Walkman kept her company, and she cycled through her favourite CDs. She even went above and beyond, adding small details to her work that weren’t overly relevant but she knew Professor Styles would enjoy reading.
As grumpy as he was, she wouldn’t deny that she had a soft spot for him. For his focused gaze, his deep voice as he stood before the class and taught, and how his dimples flexed when he was talking or hiding his irritation.
Oftentimes, she’d allow herself to admire him. To see him as a simple man. Rich in thought and graceful in the way he so confidently carried himself. He was effortlessly smart and passionate. Young but full of experience, which she found impressive amongst the older faculty.
In his early thirties, it was remarkable how far his career had soared already.
He was gorgeous. Poised and proper, with inklings of something more unhinged that she could sometimes spy through his carefully placed mask.
But then she’d shake her head and chastise herself for thinking such thoughts about someone so above her.
He was known to be a sucker for details and personality. He hated textbook answers, even though his whole career and teachings relied purely on facts. So, she spent extra time being a little more pedantic than usual.
She wanted to impress him. He was one of the most successful historians of his impressively ripe age of thirty-two. She’d never wanted to let him down and she had to prove to him that she had what it took to be in his class and be worthy of his teachings. It was what motivated her to piston through her assignment and perfect it.
She was going over her paper, adding some final flares when her flatmate knocked on her door.
“Vi, you’ve been working on that for hours.”
“I know,” she wrote furiously, so hyper-focused on the spread of papers and books in front of her, “it’s due tomorrow.”
“You need a break, come get a drink with us.”
Violet was that person that worked herself to the bone to maintain her grades. She was a people pleaser, and that trait stretched to her professors. She clung to every word they said and took every assignment seriously.
“Due tomorrow, Alice.” She repeated, barely blinking as she wrote and mouthed the words out to herself.
“Please take a break before you lose your mind.” Alice could sense her friend falling into that mindset where she neglected everything aside from whatever assignment was due.
Violet sighed, pausing her work and turning to face her. “Who’s we?”
She soon found herself dressed in an attire that completely contrasted her university jumper and sweat pants. A tiny green dress, and a little makeup applied to her tired face to make it seem as if she were actually getting any appropriate amount of sleep.
They made their way to the local bar they often frequented, meeting their group of friends who had already started on the drinks. It was then that she realised was extremely overworked and tired.
Her study load was never-ending, piling on top of her until she was suffocating. She had to take some time for herself tonight or she’d go crazy. Her mind was constantly whirring with assignments and tests and studying.
Her paper was mostly done. She’d have a few drinks and then head home to finish it off. It was only nine o’clock, and she figured an hour or two wouldn’t hurt.
By ten o’clock, she was feeling lighter. She stayed true to her word, only having two drinks before cutting herself off. She knew she’d have to leave sooner rather than later, but her friends were renewing the energy she had been lacking. She couldn’t leave the source of such liveliness.
There was one guy in the group who had been pining after her all year. They shared a few classes together, including Ancient History with Professor Styles. He had a bright smile and a sense of humour that she enjoyed.
“Hey, Vi.”
“Hi, Charlie, how are you?”
“I’m good, yourself?”
“Not bad.”
“Glad to hear it.” He smiled. “Can I get you a drink?”
He made her laugh all night, stuck to her side to enjoy her smile up close. They flirted, sending each other sultry gazes and warm, suggestive touches.
She couldn’t even deny that she wished it was someone else she’d rather be with tonight. A certain professor who wore glasses, sweaters, and displeased frowns. Perhaps that was why she threw herself head first into Charlie, wanting to forget about her sinful desires.
She felt warm and gooey, needing something to focus on other than that damn paper and the professor who was expecting it.
So, when he led her down the hallway, kissing her lips and her neck, she didn’t hesitate to get lost in him.
Too lost to see her professor sitting at the bar watching as she pulled Charlie into a supply closet.
“I have to say, Miss Walters. I didn’t think you’d be able to do it.”
She huffed out a breath at his expression. It was like he was almost smug about it. About her having to rewrite a whole paper, work that would take weeks crammed into one night.
He was being truthful. The paper would have been difficult to complete in one night, he’d known as much when he told her that he wanted it the next morning. It was a test.
He didn’t want to be played around by his students. He was tough on them for a reason, and barely ever handed out second chances as he had done with her.
So, to know that she had been out last night when she should have been at home was an insult. She’d fluttered her eyelashes and taken advantage of the one sliver of good nature he had in him. And here she was, a pleased smile on her face with her paper before his very eyes.
She was wearing makeup as if to hide how tired she was. It wasn't because she had stayed up all night writing his paper, but he already knew that. He looked at the assignment dubiously, doubting its contents.
“Well, I did it. Correct dates and everything.”
“It’s longer.” He said, flipping through the pages and noticing that there were a few additional ones compared to the initial few she had handed in.
She absorbed her surroundings, his office was deep woods and dim lighting. His desk was large and cluttered with books and assignments to grade, and the room was framed with bookshelves, awards, diplomas, and expensive-looking knick
knacks.
“I took your advice and made it more exciting.”
He wanted to reprimand her. Tell her that adding extra fluff didn’t equal excitement or any weight to her assignment. But he swallowed his sour mood and nodded, placing the paper flat on the desk and leaning back in his chair.
His outfit was darker than his usual palette and style of light colours and unique sweaters. Instead, he donned a black shirt, a black suit jacket thrown over the top with charcoal pants. She could tell that he was in a bad mood, somehow even more irate than usual.
“I’ll review it over the weekend.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but then snapped it shut. She very clearly wanted to say something and he raised a brow in encouragement.
“Thank you,” she said. “For the second chance. I hope you enjoy it.”
Enjoy it? He’d never had a student wish that he enjoyed something they handed in. They simply wanted to meet the criteria and pass.
She turned to leave, feeling overwhelmed by his scrutinising gaze. She’d handed in the assignment, and had a bit of time to cram in some study before her first class of the day, which just so happened to be with the grumpy professor.
"Violet."
"Yes?"
He tapped his neck, eyeing hers. "I want that covered before you come to my class."
Her cheeks flushed with heat, her hand coming up to cover the hickey on her neck. She thought she'd done a good enough job with her concealer this morning, but apparently not.
She didn't even have the nerve to reply before she left the room, utterly mortified.
He stared after her, wondering if he'd embarrassed her. Probably. He disregarded her feelings, viewing the mark on her neck as inappropriate. He wasn't sure why the hickey bothered him so much.
Perhaps it was because she'd clearly had a late night last night, and it wasn't with the company of his teachings. He watched her take that man into that supply closet and the evidence of that was staring him in the face.
He didn’t want to look at that fucking hickey on her neck because then he knew he’d have to face the reality of the fact that he was jealous.
Jealous of one of his other students putting his hands and mouth on her. His student in that tiny green dress, cheeks flushed with arousal and drink. He imagined it. How she'd taste on his tongue. The sounds she'd make. The way she felt.
He had felt pathetic about the whole thing, sitting at the bar all alone and sulking. He’d polished off his drink at the bar after watching it happen. He’d just as quickly gone to his cold and empty home to wallow with a bottle of tequila and some Aerosmith.
Fuck. He couldn’t think about this. About her soft thighs in her tiny skirt and her bouncy ponytail. Or the way she called him professor. It wasn’t right and he felt sick about it.
He checked his pager, seeing it blank and sighing. He needed something to do so he couldn’t keep thinking about her. And then she’d be staring at him during his class, her eyes wide and wandering.
Almost panicked about the prospect of being near her again, he picked up her paper and began reading it to distract himself.
Following a strenuous battle with her concealer and the sizeable hickey on her neck, Violet entered Professor Styles’ classroom. It was mostly covered, there wasn’t a lot she could do in the way of hiding it completely. However, in the back of her mind, she was perplexed that he found it his place to even say anything.
Surely he just wanted to mortify her. He had been a student once, he knew the means of getting lost in dark hallways with another warm and desperate body.
She spotted Charlie sitting in the center of the seats and he waved her over. She smiled, shaking her head. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to him just yet, especially considering he was the cause of her marked neck.
She took her usual spot up front, always wanting to bathe in the professor’s teachings, and found herself lost if she was stuck in the middle of the seats.
Professor Styles wasn’t in class yet, and she took the time to prepare her notes in an organised spread on the desk in front of her. She didn’t even notice him silently enter, setting up at his desk with a look of disinterest.
Her body felt heated. Not the warm embarrassment of him pointing out her hickey, but because his gaze was on hers as he set down his satchel. She held his eyes, right until he looked away to retrieve the folders that held the material he needed for the class.
Decidedly ready, he stood at the center of his territory up front, his suit jacket parting as he slid his hands into his pockets. He eyed the class through his glasses, noting that no one had realised he’d entered the room yet. Except for her.
He sighed, wrinkling his nose before looking down at his oxfords. He cleared his throat, somehow garnering everyone’s attention in a split second. He leaned back against his desk.
“As you’re aware, I’m obligated to drag you on a class trip abroad in the coming weeks. I’ve heard your suggestions as you’ve not so subtly given them to me.” He eyed the mouthy students in question. “However, the board and I have discussed it and we’ve come to a decision.”
Students started chattering loudly, and Violet sent a friendly smile to her friend next to her but otherwise kept her attention on Professor Styles.
“Quiet, or you’ll be staying behind while I go on holiday by myself!”
His demand was heard loud and clear, and everyone became tight-lipped and watched him. He adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, already dreading the idea of this trip.
The university board had been grilling him about it, and he’d been pressured into making a decision that pleased them with ridiculously limited time to sort it out.
“Pompeii.” He said simply, letting it sink in for his students.
Violet felt a rush of excitement. Pompeii—preserved in Naples, Italy, was rich with history and had been on her bucket list for as long as she could remember.
It was a monumental part of history, and she could not wait to see it in its glory and stand where devastation rocked an ancient city so long ago.
The class talked loudly, bursting and bubbling with enthusiasm. Professor Styles remained unphased by it all, waiting until the chatter had died down before he spoke again.
“We’ll be staying in Naples, however, the focus of our trip will be Pompeii. This will be your final paper and will be half your grade. This isn’t a holiday or a time to slack off. You’re here in this room for a reason, that applies to this trip as well. Think about the history there. The people, the politics, the daily life. The power of nature and the terror that it entices.” He took a slow breath, as if bored or tired. Perhaps both. “It wasn’t my first choice, naturally. But seeing as it is one of the most famous natural disasters in ancient history, the board saw it fit to touch on, considering it differs from any other material we’ve studied so far.”
“Can’t we go to Paris instead, Professor Styles?” One of the girls at the back of the glass giggled. It was clear that the only reason she took this class was for someone nice to look at. “It’s the city of love.”
“Love?” He laughed but it was void of humour. “If you want love, you’re in the wrong place. Maybe if you spent less time daydreaming, and more time paying attention, you wouldn’t be failing my class.”
Violet laughed under her breath, doodling in her notebook. His eyes went to her at the sound, wondering if she found the girl's suggestion funny or his response.
She looked up at him, brushing her hair over her shoulder. He clenched his jaw and looked away, locating the documents that contained everything regarding the trip.
He handed piles to the desks in the front row, telling them to take one and pass it back. He stopped before her, placing the papers in her waiting hands and staring at her with an unreadable expression.
“See me after class.”
“Me?”
His voice was low and deep. “Yes, you.”
She was perplexed. See him after class for what? He said that he’d go over her paper during the weekend, so she doubted it would be about that.
Maybe he wanted to torment her about her neck some more. Really rub in the embarrassment and taunt her for it.
It was hard to focus during the whole class. She jotted down notes every now and again, but her mind was honed in on him. Even more so than usual. The authority in his tone as he told her to cover her neck, his confident stance, and the way his lips caressed words.
He rambled on about the trip, what to expect, and in turn what he was expecting from them. He adjusted his glasses, searching the student's expressions and finding her eyes. He ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek before looking back at his notes.
By the time class had ended, she had written down things she wasn’t paying attention to. She’d been paying attention to him. Only him. And she couldn’t even fool herself into her fascination with him strictly existing just because of his teachings. It was far past that now.
She gathered her things, the room emptying of students. She stood, her gaze falling to him, stood behind his desk organising his folders.
She approached his desk, standing before it. She noticed that his jaw clenched, looking up at her from the frame of his glasses and raising his brows.
"You wanted to see me?"
“I did.”
She waited as he righted his desk, ensuring everything was in order before he finally regarded her.
“Your paper. I want to talk to you about it.”
Her stomach dropped. “The paper I just handed in?”
What would he have to say about it considering it had only been mere hours since he’d received it? She felt a flash of irritation, wondering if she’d ever be able to please this man.
“I don’t have time this week, so it’ll have to be next Monday. You’re my last class so I’ll be able to give you all of my attention.”
She felt warm at his words. At the promise of having his full attention, her body was alive with need and desire. His eyes were so intense, deep, and thick with thoughts she could see the complexity of.
But as the foggy haze of her absurd fantasies cleared, she frowned. Monday? It was Thursday now. Why didn’t he bring this up closer to the time? Did he just want her to stew in her worry until Monday?
Surely he couldn’t have read her paper already. Maybe he’d read the first paragraph only to crumble it up and lob it into his trashcan.
“Is it that bad?”
He shot her a look that she couldn’t decipher. “Monday, Violet.”
As she left the classroom, completely vexed and anxious, Charlie caught up with her.
“He’s a real piece of work, isn’t he?”
“Who?” She felt like she was barely there as she navigated the old building toward her next class.
“Styles. I mean, that paper we just did, for example. He ignores all of my hard work and focuses on the shit I’m doing wrong.”
Violet shrugged, “I mean, isn’t that what makes him a great professor? He points out what you need to improve on to do better.”
“Whatever. I feel like there’s no winning with him. At least we have this trip. You and I can ditch the group and do our own sightseeing.”
She didn’t miss the way his eyes sparkled at his suggestion. And maybe if she wasn’t so hung up on someone she had no business being hung up on, she’d reciprocate Charlie’s enthusiasm.
Monday. She’d be seeing her favourite, constantly disgruntled professor on Monday.
It wasn’t hard to keep herself distracted until then. She attended her classes, her study load growing as each one passed. Her flatmate held a party on Saturday night, in which she’d spent most of it pressed up against Charlie, however avoiding his advances of something more.
He was sweet and funny but he wasn’t what she wanted and she was just a fuck to him. She felt bad that she’d even let that night happen. She’d just needed to feel something, something that wasn’t the ever-pressing crush she had on her professor.
She was wrecked with intolerable thoughts about her assignment. Was he going to fail her again? Tell that she wasn’t cut out for his class that she’d battled so hard to get into?
By the time Monday came around, she was a nervous wreck. She settled herself into a private nook in the library, her Walkman on hand and her collection of her favourite CDs.
She read every single piece about Pompeii that she could find. She wanted to be even more prepared for the trip, and have a better understanding of what it might entail.
And maybe having more knowledge of it would impress her professor.
Her last class on Monday was with him. As she entered and took her usual seat, he was setting up his material, dressed in plaid pants and a cozy looking sweater.
He used the knuckle of his pointer finger to adjust his glasses and flipped a pen in his other hand, staring over his class agenda.
She just loved watching him. There was something in his mannerisms that was so fascinating. He was mesmerising in the way he carried himself. From his large hands, which she always stared at, to his ever-expressive eyes.
The first time she’d spotted the cross tattooed on his hand, she had to go into the bathroom after class and slip her hand between her legs to quell the dampness there.
With a deep sigh, he focused on the class and ran a hand through his curls, though they fell back into the middle parting as always.
He seemed even more put off today. He spent most of his time voicing more details about the trip to Naples and running through multiple checklists before handing them out.
Where he would usually throw her a glance, he didn’t even look at her today. Not once. His seemingly permanent frown was set deeper.
Instead of his usual drabble, he had some poor soul at the front of the class read out the daily lives of those who lived in Pompeii before its demise.
She jotted down notes, but her eyes kept flickering to where he sat at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed as if he were being read a lullaby.
As class came to a close, he stood, telling everyone to start preparing for the trip.
“Please refer to the list I handed out, and if you have any questions…” He twisted his lips, clasping his ringed fingers together. “Don’t.”
Her nerves were running haywire, sending electric currents through every part of her body as she stood with her bag and began to approach his desk. He was busying himself with the sprawl of clutter on the expanse of the aged wood.
She stood before it, and he looked up briefly before gathering a stack of papers and sliding them carefully into his satchel.
"Not here." His voice was so low that she felt it swirl in her ears like a thick, dreamy fog.
She took a deep breath and nodded, feeling intimidated to be alone with him again. Until a student approached the desk and asked for his aid on a project, and all she could do was stand there and wait.
"I just don't know how to make the connection." The student said.
He leaned over, staring at the paper. He nodded and then looked at Violet, "go and wait in my office. I'll only be a moment."
She felt her heart drop to her stomach at the authority in his tone. He looked at her for a second before focusing on the student who needed his help.
She tried to brush off her nerves as she arrived at his office and sat in the chair in front of his desk. She had no idea what was about to happen, but since it was regarding her assignment, she was beside herself with anxiety.
He stepped into his office with a sigh, running his hands along his thighs before taking a seat. He sifted through the drawer in his desk, taking out her assignment and reading over it.
“I’ve read your paper.” His voice was void of any emotion and it made her feel uneasy.
She wasn’t sure what to say, so she picked at the hem of her dress and avoided his eyes. He held up her assignment and stared at it.
“Violet… this is one of the best things a student has ever handed in to me.”
She took in a sharp breath, looking at him with wide eyes. She almost didn’t want to believe him. Or what was more believable was that he’d be jesting and then fail her. This wasn’t like the usual grumpy professor that she knew and she didn’t know what to make of it.
“I—Thank you, professor.”
“I could tell that it had potential when you handed it in. I’ve written some notes for you, but I wanted to go through them with you now.”
This was unheard of. He graded papers, jotted down brief notes behind his reasoning, and moved on. But this… this was beyond anything he’d ever done.
He was known for being insufferably unfair to his students. Yet he’d given her a second chance, and was now praising her work and wanted to express why.
“Okay.” She nodded, adjusting in her seat and trying to calm down her racing heart.
“Overall, it’s a well-thought-out paper. You have complete control of each point made and where your sources come from without sounding too recited. There are facts here, and you’ve shown how the influence that ancient Rome had in its prime is perceived nowadays… impressively. You’ve portrayed its people and politics really well.”
“Thank you.” She was struggling to believe this was actually happening.
“This is why I made you redo it. What you initially handed in was bland. But this is… you. Your authentic self and thoughts.” He gestured to the paper. “You’re passionate, and I can feel that when I read it. You’ve taken every aspect of what makes ancient history so fascinating and made it your own.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being serious right now.”
There was a flash of emotion across his face, his dimple appearing ever so slightly with a quirk of his lips. “Take my praise. I don’t give it often.”
“Wow, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” His tone was suddenly warm, and his gaze brushed her neck for a second before finding her eyes once more.
“Professional opinion aside,” she toyed with the question on her tongue, feeling overwhelmed, “did you enjoy it?”
There it was again. Her question made his brow furrow in thought. He rarely enjoyed reading his student's work. Oftentimes, he was too preoccupied doing his job to feel any sense of enjoyment.
Why was it so important to her that he enjoyed it? He’d praised her work, and she wanted to know if he relished in reading it.
No one was as surprised as him when he found himself nodding slowly. “I did, actually. I like that it kept me intrigued and that I could sense how deeply you feel for the past.”
She wasn’t in his class for the wrong reasons, like he could see a lot of his students were. Some weren’t interested in anything past staring at him for an hour and then bullshitting their way through every paper they had to write. But she had a reason to be there, a drive to explore the past.
“I’m glad you liked it.”
Her expression was so burning and focused on him that he felt it in his gut. He remembered how she looked in that guy's arms and he swallowed, wondering if she would be just as soft in his.
He cleared his throat, shaking off the fog of her. She crossed one leg over the other and he blinked at the sight of more skin exposed under that sweet little dress she was in.
She released a breath as he stood, relieved that this whole interaction was one of positivity. She was elated that he had enjoyed her work, and moreover was elated that he had praised her as he did.
But as he stood, he rounded his desk and went behind her before he closed the door to his office.
She felt a wave of adrenaline wash over her, being alone with him. She questioned if he was even allowed to close the door, but she didn’t want to stop it from happening.
She watched as he walked in front of her, leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed.
“Why history?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Well, everyone has a reason for their majors. Whether you’re in it for archiving, research, or curating, you’ve got a reason for choosing history. My question is why.”
She straightened under his scrutinising gaze. He adjusted his glasses before his hands rested back on the desk, curling around the lip of it. She stared at his rings, mesmerised.
“I find it fascinating to observe how humanity has changed, to see how we’ve improved and what we still need to work on. I like studying the past, preserving the stories, the art, the structures they left for us to see their legacy.”
He was floored, although his expression remained a trained unreadable one. To meet someone with these values wasn’t uncommon. However, she had a way with words that he adored.
Like every aspect of his own passion was laid out on her tongue and given back to him in a gentle vocal caress.
“So, you’re just as intrigued by their way of life as well as learning from their mistakes?”
“In fewer words, yes.”
“You’re in it for the right reasons.”
“Are there any wrong reasons?” She frowned.
“Greed.” He said simply, not giving any clarification.
“Why do you teach?”
He tilted his head, his hands smoothing down his strong thighs. “I have a lot of experience in the field, as you may know. I wanted to extend that knowledge to people with the kind of drive I admire. The lust for research and preserving history. I’m good at it, and I have a lot to give you so that you can be just as good.”
His choice of words turned her mouth dry. I have a lot to give you. She knew he meant a lot of his wisdom and knowledge, but his eyes were sparkling with something she couldn’t decipher.
“I love your class.”
“Is that so? Is that why you asked if I enjoyed your paper?”
“Yes.”
He pursed his lips. “Are you trying to impress me?”
She smiled. “I don’t see anything wrong with that. I like the assignments you give us and the way you teach. It’s informative and exciting at the same time.”
“I like that,” he said, mulling deep in his thoughts, “it’s a nice change. To have someone care about their studies as opposed to struggle through them.”
“Oh, the struggle is still there.” She laughed and she spied a hint of a smile teasing his lips before he could disguise it.
He took a step forward and her eyes followed as he gauged how close he wanted to get. She gripped the arms of the chair as he stood in front of her, a jeweled hand reaching out to brush a few strands of her hair away from her face.
She hoped he couldn’t tell how hard she was shaking. Their eyes didn’t leave one another as his fingers brushed softly down, moving her hair away from her shoulder so he could look at her neck before he retracted all touch completely.
“You covered it.” He mumbled, his voice so low that she thought she imagined it.
“I did.”
“Good gi—“ He cleared his throat loudly. “Good. It’s not professional.”
Her brows raised at his almost slip up. She wondered if he was going to say exactly what she thought he was. And she almost begged him to call her that. Just once. Just so that she could go home and think about it in the shower, alone with nothing but the memory of him.
He leaned against his desk again, his gaze searing. She couldn’t breathe and pressed her thighs together to dull the ache his touch had left.
“Do you want to impress me, Violet?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I’m going to give you some extra work to do for me.”
For me. Her eyes fluttered. “You are?”
“I am.” His voice was slow, dreamy. “For my enjoyment, and your benefit.”
This, he thought, is where he should stop. He could feel the vapour of arousal lick at him in warm swirls. The way she was looking at him had him near crumbling. So innocent and intrigued by the prospect of impressing him. He wanted to reach out and touch her again, but he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself again. From going too far.
“My benefit?”
“Yes. I’ll reward you, of course.”
“What kind of reward?”
“Whatever the teacher’s pet wants.”
Her entire body became warm and gooey, though her nerves did not settle. Instead, they amplified the longer he simply stared at her, unwavering.
“What does this extra work entail, Professor?”
He didn’t smile—although he wanted to, and straightened. He rounded his desk, producing a small stack of papers, the top one decorated with his sprawl. He walked back over, handing it to her.
He looked her in the eye, his face serious. “Only do what you want to do. Extra work and rewards. Do you understand?”
“Okay.” She said simply, feeling overwhelmed and heated. As if he had read her mind, viewed her deepest, darkest fantasy of being his pet and making it a reality. Her mind was buzzing with what extra work he’d have her doing.
“There are only a few things there.” He nodded to the papers. “Some extra assignments if you can do them as well as this one. Also, some preparation for the class trip if you’re up for it.”
She scanned through the list, seeing the assignment topics from subjects he’d vaguely taught them about. She felt a twinge of excitement at the idea of doing more for him.
“And my reward…?”
His lips twitched like he was amused. “Extra credit, of course.”
She felt a pang of disappointment. But then what else was he meant to offer her? She wasn’t about to turn town extra credit or the chance to impress him. She was already on his radar as someone he could count on. The thought made her all giddy and warm inside.
“I’m very grateful, professor.”
“You have potential. As you finish each one, come and see me.”
“Thank you, I will.” She nodded. She’d try her absolute hardest to complete them, and as he said, only the ones she wanted to. She eyed the list again.
He stepped forward once more, and she braced herself for the contact again. She was still spiraling from when he touched her. Her cheek still tingled from his fingers and she felt desperate to have that feeling renewed.
But then someone knocked on the door once before entering. “Hey, Harry, I—oh. Hello.”
Another faculty member she recognised from the economics department. Her cheeks flushed as he eyed her before looking at the grumpy professor in front of her.
Harry. She’d always known his name, but hearing someone actually call him by his first name made him seem more… real. Less like a history robot and more like the man she fantasised about.
“Forgive me.” He cringed, “I didn’t know you had company.”
“That’s generally why you knock.” Professor Styles grumbled, however checking his watch with a sigh.
“I did—"
“Get started on those, Miss Walters. I’ll check in with you in a few days.”
Blushing, she stood and ducked her head, leaving the room hastily. The list was crumpled in her fist as she made her way home. Alice was ready to ask her about her day, and they quickly got distracted watching reruns of some old sitcom. But the list he’d given her stayed on the forefront of her mind.
And as the week dragged on, she made her way through the few assignments he’d given her. They weren’t full-length assignments and differed heavily from the kind he handed out to the whole class, as he’d stated. She found them quite easy, the basis of them fitted her strengths.
Had he tailored these to her? Had he enjoyed her work so much that he wanted more? It was like he’d hand-picked his favourite topics they’d briefly covered in class and was now asking her to do what she pleased with them.
She spent all of her time between classes in the huge library. It was undoubtedly her favourite section of Oxford, and she spent many hours getting lost in the ornate building, the old books, and the history they shared.
She sat at one of the aged desks, a sprawl of books in front of her as she finished up her second extra assignment. She took on his advice. She double-checked her facts, and added drabble that made the paper more exciting and gripping to the reader. Him.
She’d even gotten a head start on the third assignment he’d given her. Although she knew she’d have to spend more time locating sources for the topic, she figured it would look good if he saw that she’d started it. All she wanted was to impress him. To prove herself. She knew she had the talent, and he was fully appreciating it.
As her day wrapped up, she found herself swirling through the halls towards his office, a completed assignment in hand. Considering their class trip was only in a matter of days, she figured he’d be too busy to see her.
She approached the oak door and knocked, hearing his voice on the other side telling her to come in.
She opened the door, and his eyes fell on her immediately. On her pretty yellow dress and the hem that fell to the middle of her thighs. Her hair was in its usual ponytail held together with a pale blue scrunchie. He liked watching it swish through the air as she walked.
“Hi,” she said softly, while his expression was hard. “I finished another assignment. Do you have time?”
Technically? No. He had a pressing amount of things to grade. But the hope on her face and the way she looked so fucking pretty made it impossible for him to turn her away.
He moved his work aside, clearing his mind so that she was the only thing on it. “Take a seat.”
She took a deep breath and entered the room fully, leaving the door open which was a detail he didn’t miss. She placed the assignment in his hand and he felt the urge to read it immediately. To be wrapped up in her thoughts.
“Didn’t take you long, did it?” His voice rolled through her ears like a steady stream tumbling over smooth rocks.
“I felt inspired.”
“By what?” He tilted his head.
“Not what,” she whispered, holding his gaze. “Who.”
A sliver of a smile touched his lips before it was gone without a trace. “Okay, then. Who?”
“You.”
“Me.” He parroted as if he didn’t believe her.
“You always have inspired me, but hearing what drives you and how you came to teach made me want to work harder. To give history as much as you’ve given it.”
He felt something warm him. He was almost bashful at her praise, where usually it would inflame his ego. But coming from her, from her earnest and sweet heart. It was different.
“I’m glad you find my teachings useful.”
“They really helped with this paper.”
“How did you find it?”
She mulled over her thoughts. Endearing. Intriguing. Enriching. “The perfect amount of challenging. It made me think but my thoughts came naturally.”
“Good.” He pursed his lips. “I knew you’d apply all that I’ve taught you and pull through.”
“And I hope you enjoy it as much as my last one.”
“I’m sure I will. Come and see me tomorrow after your last class and I’ll give you my notes.”
She liked the idea of hearing his musings on her own work. He saw her potential and her drive. Enjoyed what she handed in and told her how much and why.
“Tomorrow.” She smiled a little, standing and slinging her bag up to her shoulder. “I can’t wait.”
There was something in her tone at the sentiment. The hue of it. A soft, wispy colour as pretty as her dress. He wondered if it was flirtation but quickly threw the idea aside.
He couldn’t wish for such things with his student, no matter what signals she sent him. But she was his little teacher’s pet now, and something about having that claim on her was driving him mad.
After a grueling study session in her well-loved nook of the library, she went home to pack for the trip to Naples. There was a checklist criteria for what to bring and what to leave behind.
She threw some of her favourite summer dresses into her suitcase, a few pairs of shoes, and a few extra outfits of baggy jeans and band t-shirts.
She had class with Professor Styles the next day, in which he’d handed out light material in preparation for the trip. Essential knowledge and ground rules.
It seemed he viewed the whole ordeal as a burden. An annoyance. He was taking twenty students away, with only one other member of the faculty joining to help him out. A teacher, who happened to be from Naples, would be staying with their family between class adventures.
He’d rather be sunbathing in Naples than traipsing around ancient ruins with students he despised. Mostly.
He didn’t acknowledge her for the whole lecture, save an initial glance as she’d taken her usual seat. But he’d almost switch off any form of warmth he had towards her when they were in the class environment.
He was his usual grumpy self, impatient with everyone and snapping at anyone who was talking when he was.
She had a free period to end her day, and she used it to finish up some assignments for her other classes as well as work on one of the extra ones he had given her. It was about half done, but she knew to prioritise her other class papers over this one.
She made her way to his office again, and this time it somehow meant more. She felt the weight of entering his space, and it was because of how he seemed to change around her.
That icy demeanour of him melted just enough for her to see the genuine man that lay beneath it.
She knocked, waiting for him to tell her to enter before opening the door. His outfit palette today was soft browns and beige, his glasses perched on his nose while his eyes gleamed behind them.
He looked at her briefly before nodding to the seat and turning back to his work, his expensive ballpoint pen twirling between his fingers. She stared at the bright yellow pen with a smile, noting how it was the exact opposite of his mood; bright, sunny, and cheerful.
She sat in the chair and realised that she felt less and less nervous with every moment she spent alone with him. She’d never felt uncomfortable around him per se, but his intimidating nature was a constant reminder that she couldn’t want him. Shouldn’t want him. But she did.
His jaw worked on a piece of gum, and he frowned as he adjusted his glasses and continued writing on whatever he was working on.
She decided to get comfortable, settling deeper into the chair, figuring he was deeply enthralled with his work. She eyed the bookshelf to her left and scanned his personal library.
She didn’t even realise that he was trying to get her attention, too focused on his book collection, searching for clues as to who he was. Who he was outside of this office, outside of his profession.
“Violet?”
“Hm?” She turned to face him.
He retrieved her assignment from under a stack of other ones he was grading. “I’m wondering why every assignment you’ve given me hasn’t been as good as these last few.”
Oh. Her brows raised. It was a compliment to her most recent work while putting down everything else she’d given him prior to these. She’d always had the drive and passion, but it was evident that something had changed.
“I guess I just felt more inspired. I’ve enjoyed these topics a lot and felt compelled to do them well.” She frowned. “I thought I’d done well with every other assignment, though.”
“You did—obviously, as I passed you. You clearly didn’t do them as well, however, hence my praise.”
“That’s very nice to hear, especially from you.”
His lips quirked at her sheer and utter adoration for him. She valued what he had to say, looked up to him, and the influence he’d had in the younger demographic of Ancient History.
“Well, you deserve it. You work hard, and you’re driven by your passion. That’s rare to come by.”
She could only imagine what he himself was like as a student however many years ago. Like her, he’d studied at Oxford, and after not too long in the field, had felt the need to come back but as part of the faculty.
“Thank you.” She replied, unsure of what else to say. She felt like she was being pinned to her seat by his searing gaze and she wriggled in it, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Help me with this itinerary for the trip.”
“The itinerary?”
“It’s mostly done. There’s a bunch of books and brochures here, if you see anything you’d particularly like to do, add it to the timesheet and make it work.”
She gawked at him like he’d grown three heads. Her? Help him with the itinerary for the class trip?
“Isn’t this your job?” She felt brave enough to ask. “Like, am I allowed to be doing this?”
“Yes it is, and yes you are.” His tone was so final that she didn’t feel a ribbon of unease lace through her mind.
She scooted forward so that she could use the desk, while he sat at the other side and graded papers. She scanned through the travel brochures and circled things she thought could be educationally beneficial, and eventually started going through the itinerary.
She loved planning and organising, and she wondered if he knew that. Maybe he’d picked up on how pedantic she was about her own class planners and thought this little job would be fun for her. He wasn’t even marginally wrong.
Over her work, she risked quick glances at him. Ones that dared to adventure over his posture, his stern, and concentrated expression. The way he chewed on the tip of his pen, how he would take off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.
He was so endearing and she found herself watching him more and more, getting lost in how effortlessly beautiful he was.
He was still grouchy and short with her when she asked questions, and she had smiled whenever he’d huff and grumble under his breath at whatever he was grading.
“You seem particularly melancholy today.” She observed softly, and his eyes flashed to hers before he placed his pen down and laced his fingers together, leaning forward on the desk.
“Am I always melancholy?”
“I think so.”
“And you’re always vibrant.”
As bad as his mood appeared, he seemed to enjoy her company.
She mulled over the itinerary that he’d drafted, editing bits here and there. She had a sprawl of books on his desk, scanning through top tourist spots and mapping out the best walking routes.
There was a moment where he took a break, stretching his arms high over his head with a soft groan she almost missed. She hadn’t even realised that she was looking at him, enamoured and intrigued by his display of exhaustion when he always seemed so energised.
“Stop staring.” He stared at her over the frame of his glasses, his head tilted down.
She blushed, looking down at the itinerary. “I’m not.”
“I saw you.”
“Sorry.”
He watched as she focused a little too hard on a not-so-interesting book and he smiled. He’d called her out, as if he hadn’t been staring at her, too.
She hadn’t realised the time, unknowingly lost in her work for almost two hours. His pager beeped and he checked it, flipping his pen between his fingers as he read.
He reached over, grabbing the itinerary, pretty much complete, and nodding as he scanned it. He could see the depth and excitement that she had added to it and he suppressed a smile.
“I’ll go over this tonight.”
“I added a few different things there. Restaurants, as well as some historical sights and important cultural landmarks.”
He nodded, impressed. “Very good, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“As for the next assignment, I want that tomorrow.”
“We fly to Naples tomorrow.” She frowned,
“I know.”
His icy and cold guise returned. He was her professor demanding something, and she could hardly turn him down. The paper was half done and lucky for her, it wouldn’t be difficult to complete.
“Okay.” She nodded, standing and gathering her things. “It’ll be all yours tomorrow.”
He didn’t respond, turning back to his work. She’d learned to decipher his cues, and took his silence as her own time to leave. She had a lot to do before their trip and she took one last glance at his solemn expression before leaving.
As she closed the door, his eyes went up to the door. Then to the chair where she’d been sitting. His office now felt like a void of who he wanted to be. Influential, important, inspiring. All things that he rarely felt while he was stuck in an old classroom all day.
But then students like her came along. The ones alight with wonder and fascination that wanted to have his success touch them. They weren’t in his class simply because it was a requirement. They were in his class because they were eager to harbour influence of their own.
She spent all night going over her pack list, finalising her outfits and essentials for a couple of nights away. She dotted back to her paper often, wanting to have it complete. She struggled to wrap up her conclusion, and no later fell asleep on her bed, surrounded by her books and topic materials.
Her alarm went off, shrilling deep in her skull. She groaned, killing the sound and stretching. Checking the time, she noted that she only had a matter of hours until she needed to be at Heathrow airport.
She was in some type of trance as she got herself ready. She showered, ate a light breakfast, and readied her luggage. At the last minute, she grabbed the assignment that needed to be done and shoved it into her purse.
After securing a seat on the train, she got to work on it. Tossing back and forth between an abundance of different conclusions. Why did preservation matter? Why were artifacts archived how they were? How were stories of history pieced together?
All such basic questions to her whirring mind, and yet she struggled to encapsulate her thoughts in the unique way that she knew he loved. With a sigh, she put it away. She’d finish it on the flight.
After she arrived at the airport, she headed towards check-in, her small turquoise suitcase in tow. That's when she saw him, and she stopped dead in the hustle of travelers.
She had never seen him so paired back. He was dressed far more casual than his dress pants and sweaters and suits. But he was no less fashionable. She eyed his black, loose fitted pants, the worn vans on his feet, and yellow-stained sunglasses. As loose as his pants were, his t-shirt was anything but. A graphic white one that hugged him and left little to one's imagination.
And tattoos. Lots of them.
She'd only ever seen the cross on his hand and the inklings of something on his wrist. But she could see that his full arm was covered with them. Smatterings of ink, personal depictions, and dedications.
The ship on his upper arm rippled as his muscles flexed, his designer suitcase in his hand.
He looked grumpy, like always. However, the yellow sunnies over his eyes concealed some of his irritation.
His eyes found hers and he peered at her as she approached. She smiled, shy and suddenly nervous about this trip, and moreover, him.
She noticed that the rest of her class was already present, and Charlie wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he greeted her. Professor Styles' mouth twisted at the physical touch between the two before clearing his throat.
No one was paying attention until he stuck his fingers into his mouth and released an ear-piercing whistle, quieting down and facing him.
“Roll call. Be quiet.”
It took some time for every student to settle down, far too excited and chatty to keep quiet enough for him to call out everyone's name to confirm their presence.
As he called out Violet’s name, she raised her hand and watched his expression sour at Charlie's arm still wrapped around her.
Not wanting to be inappropriate, she slowly stepped away from Charlie, who was far too concerned with scoping out the other girls who were around.
They gathered, waiting in line to check in per Professor Styles’ instructions. He handed out the finalised itinerary that they had both worked on, and now everyone had their own copies. She wanted to approach him, but he was busy keeping everyone organised while the other teacher talked at the front desk.
It wasn’t until they were on air side, that he found her in line for coffee and pursed his lips.
“Did you finish the assignment?”
“Almost.”
He raised a brow, his arms crossed and accentuating his muscles and how inked they were. “Almost?”
“Yes, almost.” She affirmed, not missing his look of surprise at her tone, but she continued. “I’ll finish it on the flight.”
“We’ll be in the sky for five hours, Violet. I expect it to be done, so don’t get distracted.”
She almost snorted. What could possibly distract her on a flight? And right on cue, Charlie popped up next to her with a cheeky grin.
“How’s it hangin’, sir?” His grin widened as he stared at their disgruntled professor.
“Fine.” He grumbled, staring Charlie down before looking at Violet. “I want it before we land.”
As he sauntered off, Charlie released a sharp breath. “You’d think he’d crack a smile considering the fact that we’re going on holiday.”
“Of course, you’d see this as a holiday.”
“I heard our hotel has a pool.” He bumped his hip against hers.
She gave him a fake smile, worming out of his hold. “Can’t wait.”
Half way through the flight, she’d found herself polishing off her paper, just how he ordered. The conclusion was strong and unwavering, her skill and passion shining through each word.
She’d managed to avoid sitting next to Charlie, instead, she was next to two girls she enjoyed talking to, although they were a bit quiet during class and outside of it, it was so different. Everyone seemed to busy themselves with studying the itinerary for the trip, bubbling with excitement.
She read over her paper twice, thoroughly proud of it, and she couldn’t wait to have her favourite professor read it. She knew he was a few rows back, and stood, remembering that he wanted it before they landed.
Standing with a stretch, she made her way towards the back, scanning the faces for his, and finding those expressive eyes almost immediately. He was sitting alone in a row of three seats, and she wondered if he’d just gotten lucky or paid for three tickets.
His attention had been on a book before he’d found her eyes. She didn’t get the chance to study the cover of it before he was tucking it away and staring up at her expectably as she came to a halt by his row.
“Yes?”
She held up the completed paper with a look of triumph. “It’s done.”
He felt at odd sensation of pride wash over him. To be fair, he had given her quite a lot to do. And for her to finish it within such a small frame of time, while maintaining the immaculate value of her work, was an incredible feat.
So, he actually smiled. It was small but big enough that his dimples indented his cheeks a little.
“Attagirl. I knew you could do it.”
Her cheeks flushed at his praise and his smile. Two glimmeringly beautiful facets of him that she’d never seen, especially the latter. Fuck, his smile. So soft and serene and dreamy. It was verging on heartbreaking that he didn’t wear it more.
“I hope it’s good.”
“Knowing you… it will be.”
“You’re too kind.” She said bashfully.
He flipped through the assignment, nodding his head with pursed lips. He opened his mouth to say something, gesturing to the empty seat next to him before the sound that accompanied the lighting of the seatbelt signal interrupted him.
He sighed, adjusting his glasses before buckling up. “You better get back to your seat.”
She nodded, unaware that it took everything within him to not invite her to sit on his lap.
They landed in Naples in the early hours of the afternoon, and were shuffled onto a waiting bus towards their first destination of the trip. Professor Styles had done a roll call and had already lost all patience with the loud group he was stuck with.
Their luggage was sent to their hotel, where they’d be turning in after their activities. They were given a tour of the huge city. The driver pointed out landmarks as they passed them.
The expanse of the ocean was pristine cerulean, invitingly crisp, the shore framed with exquisite buildings that crawled up the steep cliffsides. It was bright. Awash with blues and yellows and pinks and reds. Hues that depicted such a lively city so well.
Violet practically had her face pressed up against her window in the bus, admiring how glorious it was. It was densely packed with culture and entertainment and history. She was itching to get out and explore, smell the fresh air and taste the experiences on her tongue.
Their first tourist spot was the National Archaeological Museum. Professor Styles separated his students into two groups, one with him, and one with the other teacher.
To her delight, she was with him, and by the look in his eyes, he was just as happy about it. Maybe he even planned it that way. What he didn’t plan on, however, was Charlie sneaking into his group so that he could be with Violet. He gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the flash of irritation that almost blinded him.
The museum was phenomenal. Showcasing historical artefacts that had been unearthed by many. There was an abundance of exhibitions, which they were led through by their professor.
She took photos on her disposable camera, one of which had him in the frame, and she wouldn’t realise until she got her film developed.
Following the tour of the largest part of the museum, he turned to face the group. He had noticed Charlie being a nuisance, especially towards Violet and he made a point to ask her about it if he got her alone. He cleared his mind, trying to remain professional but struggling when she was staring at him like she was.
“Archaeologists and historians work together to teach the world about history. About daily lives, historical events, and structures. They excavate the history, and we tell its story. I hope you all feel inspired by what we’ve seen today because I want you to choose a piece and include it in your assignment.”
The group murmured, gathering their notebooks and fluttering around the exhibitions, attempting to find one that could merge in with the topic seamlessly.
Violet found herself on the second floor of the impressive building, completely enamoured with how beautiful it all was. Rich with history and chronicles of the past.
She found a detailed model of what Pompeii had been in its prime. Detailed, intricate and precise. Her eyes wandered the tiny streets where people walked thousands of years ago.
It changed her perspective, seeing it all laid out in front of her gave it so much more weight in her heart. She felt the passion and interest wrap warmly around her like how the Italian sun had kissed her skin; new, inviting, and blissful.
She took a few pictures of it, wanting something to refer back to just in case. As she stared through the lens, she felt a presence behind her. Her professor, stood tall and intimidating, though his expression was composed yet warm.
“It’s impressive, isn’t it?” He nodded towards the model.
“It’s amazing.” She breathed, sharply aware of him standing next to her.
His shoulder brushed hers and she froze. She wanted his touch. Wanted him to out his hands on her and praise her. She hadn’t stopped thinking about when he reached out and brushed her hair away in his office.
“Is he bothering you?”
It appeared that their minds were in two separate places. Her, desperate for his attention, and him, desperate to keep Charlie’s attention off of her.
“Who—Charlie?”
“Because if he is,” he continued, frowning. “He can do his assignment back home.”
And perhaps knowing that she and Charlie shared a night together, sending him away wouldn’t be strictly for her benefit. He felt protective over her, and yeah, he was jealous. He wanted her and he hated to admit it. But seeing her here, in this city, in this room, felt like the final nail in the coffin.
“It’s fine, I can handle him.”
If only she knew how much he saw the depth in that statement.
“Okay, just let me know.”
“Why?” She was perplexed. His tone was almost… territorial. It was more than a teacher protecting his student.
“Because I want to take care of you.”
Her eyes fluttered as they found his, and she felt a rush of arousal spark between her legs at the sheer hunger on his face and in his tone. Fuck. This couldn’t happen. He was her professor.
This was far from appropriate but the way he was looking at her like he wanted to devour and savour her at the same time was driving her wild.
She didn’t know how to respond, but let him take her hand and lead her towards some shelves in the back of the room. They housed artifacts from Pompeii, preserved from excavation sites.
She barely had a chance to look before he was leading her on towards the Gabinetto Segreto. She frowned, halting.
“What is this?”
“My favourite exhibition.” His eyes told her nothing but mischief, and he made sure the coast was clear before ushering her in.
She was taken aback. His favourite exhibition threw all inhibition out of their minds. Sexually graphic paintings, carvings, molds, and statues. Incredibly erotic and lewd.
He watched her in the room, thankfully empty of any other museum visitors. She approached a particularly sensual painting, framed in deep marble, a woman on top of a man, both in seated positions.
“What do you think?” He asked her, his veins thrumming with life and excitement.
Her cheeks were warm, and she was very aware of his gaze on her in the room full of sexual depictions. “I think… people have always had fascinations about bodies. About sex. It’s humanising to see it depicted so early in human civilisation.”
Was it normal for that to turn him on so much? She was clearly feeling the intensity of the room and yet was in her mind enough to give him an answer that reflected her passion for his class.
“Mm.. and how does it make you feel?” His voice was so low as he came to stand behind her.
“Feel?”
“To be surrounded by ancient erotic art. How does it make you feel?”
She let out a shaky sigh, unsure of how to answer. She felt lightheaded and heated and knew the only way to quell it was to have some attention between her legs.
He picked up on her silence, thinking maybe she couldn’t gauge what kind of response he was wanting. “I’ll start. It makes me feel like recreating every piece of art in here.”
Her eyes widened at his confession, feeling so shocked that he would go in that direction but so pleased that he did. Was he just as deep in lust for her as she was for him?
“Me too.” She breathed out, and he swore lowly.
“These were all excavated from Pompeii and Herculaneum. They were kept in brothels, homes—anywhere, really. They had an appreciation for erotica and displaying it. So they allotted this space in the museum. For a time, they only allowed men to come in here and view it.”
She could listen to him talk for hours, and then she realised that she did. And loved every millisecond of it. How his lips caressed words, how he spoke a few octaves lower than most, but it was still a milky and warm voice that rang through her ears.
“Lucky me.” She smiled. He wondered how she truly felt. Aside from the obvious, she found it almost funny to think that people thousands of years ago were fortifying lands and yet found a common ground in sexual art.
He huffed out a laugh and her heart just about stopped at the noise. “Not as lucky as whoever had this hanging on their wall.”
He pointed to a large painting of a couple embracing, his skin golden against the woman’s fair skin. The preservation was amazing, aside from slight erosion of the colour and some cracks near the bottom.
“It’s very intimate.” She observed. It was—like everything else in the room—sexual. But the strokes of paint were soft, their hold on each other even more so. Love. Care.
He wanted to know if someone had held her like that. So gentle, savouring every inch of skin. Worshiping her like the piece of art that she was.
After a filling dinner at a nearby restaurant, they all found themselves at their hotel. They gathered their room keys, and each partnered up to share a room for the trip. As Violet and her professor were the last two standing in the lobby, they eyed each other awkwardly.
“This has to be a mistake.” He frowned, staring at the concierge. The other teacher was staying close by with family. Harry was sure that he’d requested his own room in the hotel. This couldn’t be happening. “Is there another room available?”
“I’m afraid not, sir.”
He sighed, clenching his jaw. He wanted to hole up in his room and order expensive wine and listen to music. Now he had to face the reality that he’d be sharing a room. With her. Maybe he’d sleep out in the hallway.
Instead of making a scene and taking out his frustration onto the person at reception, he stared at Violet, whose eyes were wide with what appeared to be apprehension.
“I can find another hotel to stay at.” He said lowly to her.
“With the number of people you’re caring for, I would advise against that, Sir. The nearest hotels are also fully booked.”
Harry glared at the concierge. The concept of staying in the same room as one of his students was a harsh pill to swallow. A jarring sensation. He was being faced with one of his deepest fantasies but now all he felt was that he was a creep.
He sighed, and met her eyes. “Come on.”
She blinked away her surprise and followed him. She could see how tense he was as his knuckle jabbed the button to call the elevator. She bit her lip and stared at him.
“Professor—”
“I swear to you I demanded a separate room.”
She frowned, seeing the worry in his eyes. He thought she saw this as something he had planned out. He felt sick about it.
“It’s out of your control. They clearly messed up the bookings, it’s fine.” She assured him, although her nerves were shooting through the roof. She had no idea how the night was going to go, or the rest of this trip, for that matter.
They arrived at their room and he took a deep breath before opening it. It was lavish, thought she expected him to book nothing less. A small seating and kitchen area, and a set of double doors that must have led off to the bedroom.
He located his duffel bag dropped off by the staff and rummaged through it. “I’ll take the couch.”
She stood awkwardly in the room. “Oh, okay.”
He took his toiletry bag, sauntering into the en suite in the bedroom. “Just gonna shower.”
Her eyes followed him, his tense body language putting her on edge. She’d never seen him so uncomfortable. Once she heard the shower turn on, she quickly changed into her sleepwear, soft silk pants, and an old t-shirt.
To keep herself busy and keep her anxiety at bay, she began working on her assignment for the class trip. Taking notes and jotting down observations she’d made. She was cozied up on the window seat, overlooking the city with a soaring heart.
He came out, his hair dripping, wetting his white t-shirt. The grey sweats on his bottom half left her speechless. Now, this was the most dressed down she’d ever seen him.
“We should get some sleep.” He said, eyeing the notebook in her hand.
“Yeah, o—of course.”
“And don’t worry I… I’ll see about getting another room tomorrow. Surely they’ll have a free one by then.”
“I don’t mind.” She blurted out, worried that he thought she was seeing him as utterly inappropriate. “It’s not… I mean, it is kinda weird but this whole mix-up is out of our control. We’re adults. We’ll make it work.”
“You’re right.” He huffed out a breath, seemingly relaxed at that. They could make it work. It was going to be a mission to shelf his attraction to her, but he kept putting on his professional hat, even though her wandering gaze was warming him up inside.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” She breezed past him, and he could smell her sweet scent.
“Good night, Violet.”
She paused at the door, about to close them when she turned back to look at him with a sultry expression that made his dick hard.
“Sweet dreams, professor.”
Suffice it to say, his dreams were anything but.
“Listen up! I’m not in the mood to repeat myself.”
It had been an eventful morning and they hadn’t even left the hotel yet. They were piled into a bus, and Charlie was sitting next to Violet, chatting her ear off.
She couldn’t keep her eyes off her professor's disgruntled expression. How she’d seen more of him than any student had before.
How he’d hidden his smile when she offered to make him coffee that morning, how his voice was far deeper after sleep.
How he’d effortlessly slipped back into his cold and disheartening demeanour after he’d gotten dressed. A pair of grey slacks and a light blue dress shirt. She tried to brush it off and pretend it didn’t bother her, but she wanted his warmth and all he gave her was soft glimpses of it before he shut her out again.
“Remember what we are here for. Keep your minds open and explore this unique opportunity. I won’t be supplying material when we return to class, so gather everything you need today. Is that understood?”
The students nodded, hearing him loud and clear. Violet checked that she had her notebook and disposable camera on hand, feeling inspired to make this assignment her best one yet.
Pompeii was everything she had dreamt of and everything she never knew she could experience. It was a phenomenal sight to see. To really walk the streets which had been wandered down before. Where lives had fled as Mount Vesuvius unleashed its wrath, coughing up poisonous ash and spewing deadly lava.
She trudged through the fallen streets, imagining what it must have been like. Danger looming. Harrowing screams. Grasping for valuables as they fled.
Her disposable camera seldom left her hands, and the click of her taking shots set off Charlie’s impatient streak in him.
“Let me give you a personal tour.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.
“I really want to focus on this.”
“Come on, Violet. You’ll have way more fun with me.”
She sighed as he attempted to take the camera from her hands. “Charlie, please. It was one night and it won’t happen again. Let it go.”
“Why the sudden switch up?” He frowned.
“I just… I want to focus on passing this assignment, okay?” And she was bored of him. Another, far more intriguing man has eclipsed her every thought.
“Fine by me. I’ll show someone else around.” He sauntered off and she glared at his back.
She rolled her eyes and tried to focus on the task at hand. At being in such a beautiful place, struck by such a disaster.
The class had all spread out by that point, and she fought to stay by herself. She worked best that way, alone with her thoughts. No pressure to fake her interest in anything aside from the historical site before her.
She sat at the edge of a small field, framed by stone arches and fallen buildings, crumbling walls. She began to sketch out the scene before her, listening to music on her Walkman, lost in her work as Duran Duran blessed her ears.
She felt the presence of someone sitting next to her, and she looked up, surprised to see her grumpy professor. His mouth moved as it formed words and she frowned, pulling her headphones off.
“I’m sorry?”
He looked amused, albeit annoyed that he had to repeat himself. “I said, I didn’t know that you could draw.”
She smiled sheepishly, staring down at her drawing. “It’s just a rough sketch. I’m a visual learner, so it helps, gives me something to refer back to if I need it.”
“It’s pretty good. You could incorporate it into the assignment.” He seemed impressed.
“That’s allowed?”
“Only because I said so.”
She bit her lip to hide her smile, although he saw her cheeks become a stunning shade of pink that he associated only with her. Like saturated carnations or his favourite ice cream, boysenberry with strawberry swirls.
She was worming her way into his brain like a rotten apple and he could only sit and watch the decay.
“I just called the hotel. They’re still fully booked—”
“Last night wasn’t horrible.” She said. “We both kept to ourselves and slept well. Unless you want a turn in the bed tonight.”
It was his turn to blush now, and she didn’t miss it.
“The couch is fine.” He grumbled, embarrassed.
She wanted to tease him. To tug that soft side of him out. But a large part of her knew he’d reprimand her for it. Use his authority on her. Not that she’d mind, but it wasn’t a way to get through to him in the slightest.
“What’s on the itinerary, then?”
He shot her a look. “You should know, considering you did it.”
She laughed. “I wasn’t sure if you’d like what I chose. If I remember correctly, I put us down for an afternoon of relaxing at the beach and self-appointed activities.”
“I never did ask what self-appointed entails.”
“Well, it could entail a number of things. Exploring the city, working on papers, grading papers,” she leaned in towards him. “Anything, it’s just downtime.”
“Downtime.” He parroted.
“That’s a completely foreign concept for you, isn’t it?”
He stifled a laugh and nodded. “Any and all free time I have is spent on you,” he cleared his throat, “my classes, I mean.”
“Maybe take some time to relax today, then. Even if just for a few hours before dinner.”
“I’ll try.” He sighed, staring down at her Walkman. “You always carry that thing around.”
He was a lot more observant of her than he was ever going to admit. And they both picked up on it. He stared at her red and white sundress for a time, wondering if she’d worn it just for him to agonise over. He had been all fucking morning. He pushed his glasses further up his nose.
As she opened her mouth to respond, he stood with a gruff, “I need to check in with everyone else. Keep working.”
She did, the sun browning her skin, her tiny sundress the only thing he could think about as he talked with other students and showed them around.
She ventured Pompeii some more, taking pictures, penciling quick sketches, and let her eyes wander over to him whenever she thought he wasn’t looking. But he always was, and they both looked away quickly.
Charlie seemed to forget all about the rejection she’d given him by the time they were at the beach and lounging on sunbeds. Violet had taken a dip, but was mostly into reclining in her little yellow bikini.
She slipped her shades up onto her head as she took in the scene before her. Most of the students had joined them, a few had ventured into the city.
But it was a rarity any of them got to see the sun and sand like this, so they practically melted in the experience, vowing to never leave.
She let her eyes scan the beach, her book tucked into her side on a dog-eared page. She enjoyed people-watching. Seeing her fellow students thrive under the golden sun, and seeing families make memories.
And Professor Styles. Stretched out on a sunbed far from everyone else. Yellow swimming shorts, bronzed skin, decorated in tattoos, both arms flexed as he stretched them above his head.
Her mouth dried at the sight. How toned and prominent he was. She could easily imagine herself sitting on top of him, mapping out each tattoo, licking, kissing, biting. Admiring.
As if he could sense her eyes on him, he looked up, a lone finger sliding his shades down to look at her. And lip quirked up on one side in a subtle smirk that made her toes curl. So, he got especially cocky when he was half-naked.
She tried to turn her attention back onto her book, but it was an effort to think of anything else other than him. She craved his touch, even though all he had given her was a whisp of it in his office.
They were dangling themselves in front of each other, temptation and lust awry, waiting for who would take the plunge first.
Following a game of cat and mouse, trying to catch each other’s eyes, it was time to head back to the hotel and get ready for dinner at a local restaurant.
She beat him to the room, grabbing a quick shower, almost ready by the time he entered the room.
He could smell her sweet perfume as he entered the room, the air humid from a long shower. She was sitting at the vanity in the bedroom, swiping mascara on her wispy lashes.
Her eyes met his in the mirror, disappointed to find him dressed in a t-shirt, those same yellow shorts allowing her to see his tattooed thigh.
“How was your downtime?” She asked him.
He came up behind her, still watching each other in the mirror. “It was good. Although, a girl was gawking at me the whole time. Didn’t think my body was that atrocious.”
He was teasing her. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, and so she played along.
“I’m sure atrocious was the last thing on her mind.”
“You think so?”
“Maybe you should have asked her.”
“I thought about it.”
She held her breath. “Did you?”
“Mm. Thought about inviting her over to my sunbed… asking her what had captured her attention. I knew what she was thinking but I just wanted to hear her say it.”
“Say what?” She breathed out. His eyes were so intense. Molten and demanding, holding hers with such a ferocity that she felt it between her legs.
He leaned down, his lips brushing the shell of her ear. “Now Violet, when have I ever given you the answers to a test?”
She released a shaky sigh, tilting her head away from him, allowing him access to her neck.
He smirked at her eagerness. “You’re a bad girl. Finish getting ready.”
“Then stop distracting me.”
He growled deep in his chest, taking a step away from her. “Don’t talk back, Violet. Ever.”
He sauntered into the bathroom, locking the door with a click. She fanned herself with her hand, quickly slipping on a white summer dress and heading downstairs to hang with her classmates.
Everyone was unaware of the fact that she and their professor were sharing a room, and she cringed to think about how they’d react if they found out.
The attraction they had for each other was undeniable, but she saw it as harmless flirting. Until… he touched her. Until he took her into that erotic room. Until he told her not to talk back. She was fucked.
He led them to the restaurant, pointing out architectural phenomena, and different historical sites for them to make note of. He looked so pretty that it hurt. Light pink dress pants and a matching blazer, a white singlet underneath. His glasses were perched on the bridge of his nose, his curls falling down on his forehead messily.
She lagged behind, and he noticed, subtly falling back, She was stopping to take pictures of different buildings, in awe of the structures and local ways of life.
He slowed his pace, keeping close to her just in case. She wasn’t overly warm towards anyone else in the class, and it made him feel glad in the sense that she focused on his class, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she had many friends outside of class.
Perhaps that’s why he was so protective over her. How territorial and irrational he became towards her. How enamoured by her he was. Buy her words and her confidence, whether in corduroy pants or little sun dresses.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to appear relaxed, but he was crawling out of his fucking skin. He needed her. Wanted her. Had to have her. He just didn’t know how to do so. He sucked at talking to women, but he knew how to fuck.
Just getting them on their backs was the hardest part for him. He had never struggled with men, but women terrified him for some reason. Especially women like her.
He kept watching her like she’d drop a clue behind a step on the cobbled street.
And when he noticed that one of her sneakers had become untied, he felt his heart begin to race.
The group was further ahead, and he fell into step beside her, grabbing her hand to garner her attention.
She turned to look at him with wide eyes, her camera clicked, and as she spun around, his face fell perfectly into the frame. But the two of them were too focused on his touch to notice.
“Your lace is untied.” He explained simply, his touch gone.
She looked down, “oh.”
“Let me,” he knelt down on the ground, lifting her foot up onto his raised knee. She gasped at the feel of his fingers wrapped around her ankle. How they softly caressed her skin before they got to work tying her lace.
His ringed fingers were a wonder to watch. So precise and nimble. She felt her cheeks tinge pink as she stared down at him on his knee for her. And when he looked up, it was almost as if he was in awe. Worshipping.
His hand slid up her ankle, cupping her calf and sliding higher. And then he dropped his touch, realising how inappropriate he was being.
“Thank you, professor.”
His jaw clenched slightly before he stood, adjusting his suit jacket. “We should catch up with the others.”
They were the last to enter the restaurant, and the universe pushed them together once again with two remaining seats. Next to each other.
Her leg was still burning from his touch and she wanted to experience it over every inch of skin on her body.
It was a wonder she could even focus on eating. He was so powerful in his presence. Even when she wasn’t looking at him she could feel him. This tar-thick sensation next to her, begging to be pulled in, begging to have her attention.
He ate his meal in silence, drinking a cider, offering bits to the conversation here and there.
She was a nervous wreck. She could smell his cologne. How it was sweet and spicy and sultry all at once.
At some point, restless and on edge, she crossed her leg, her foot accidentally nudging his ankle. He shot her a look through the corner of his eye, his mouth on his drink.
She blushed, apologising to him under her breath. But he moved his leg towards hers a little before retracting. Intrigued, she extended her foot out again, letting it trace up his leg.
“Careful.” He warned lowly.
She stared up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Or what?”
“You don’t want to start trouble with your professor, do you?”
She pursed her lips. “Maybe I do.”
“I pegged you for a good student, Violet. Perhaps I was wrong.”
“I’m a good girl where it counts, professor.”
“Then be a good girl and go settle the bill. We need to get an early night.”
He handed her his card, watching as she stood and went to pay. He eyed her thighs at the hem of her dress, remembering how soft she’d felt as he tied her shoelace. How lulled her expression became when she was teasing him under the table.
He thought about how it felt to be kneeling before her. How if he leaned forward just a little, he’d be able to see up her dress. See the colour of her panties. Flick his tongue out and get a long-awaited taste.
He skipped the dessert menu because he knew nothing would satisfy the sweet tooth he had. Only she could quell the craving.
Fuck. He couldn’t share a room with her tonight. Not unless he wanted to fuck her against every surface of it.
The walk back to the hotel was tense for the two of them. They tried to avoid each other, she tried to spark conversation with other students, while he conversed with the other professor who was probably triple his age and insufferable to talk to.
He felt especially creepy when he realised the most interesting conversations he’d ever held had been with a student of his. One who was ten years his junior.
The other professor split off, heading to his family home while Harry was in charge of leading everyone back to the hotel.
He was back to his short and curt self, subdued by his own thoughts. She eyed him, wondering if he regretted getting so comfortable with her. Because she sure as hell didn’t regret anything.
Everyone parted ways, heading to their designated rooms, while she lagged behind, completely on edge.
Their eyes met as they leaned on opposite walls in the hallway. Waiting. Gauging.
“I should find somewhere else to stay tonight.” His voice broke through the tension.
Her heart dropped and she started to panic at the prospect of him leaving her. “You don’t need to do that.”
He sighed, torn. “Violet…”
“I promise I’ll behave. You won’t even know I’m here.”
He watched her, internally debating. Could he behave? And would she stay true to her word? It was later in the evening now, and he hardly felt like trudging around the city until he found an available room.
He sighed again and nodded, entering the room wordlessly. She followed after him, watching as he stripped off his jacket and ran his hands through his hair.
She slipped into the bedroom, and as she went to close the door, decided to leave it slightly ajar. An invitation.
He sat on the couch, spreading his arms along the back. His mind was a jumbled mess, the only clarity were liquified swirls of violet skies that gave him a sense of constant.
His eyes found movement in the gap of the bedroom door and his mouth went dry. Violet pulled her tiny white dress over her head, her matching white bra and panties revealed to his hungry stare.
She pulled her hair free from its ponytail, the yellow ribbon falling to the ground in a tiny silk puddle.
She bent over, unlacing her sneakers before pulling them off. He knew he had to look away. But he couldn’t. He was staring directly between her legs. The softness of her hips and her thighs. His stomach clenched.
Reaching back, still facing away, she unclasped her bra and let that fall to the floor carelessly. He internally begged her to turn around. But he knew that if he saw her bare tits it would be game over. He already felt like he was going to finish in his pants.
And then she stepped out of view, appearing moments later in a white silk camisole and matching shorts. He looked away quickly as she exited the bedroom, trying to hide the fact that she’d put on that show just for him.
“Can you please help me?” her sweet voice caressed his ears.
He still didn’t look at her. “With?”
“My necklace.” She came to stand in front of him. “It’s tangled.”
He eyed the dainty jewelry around her neck and wondered how his hand would look in its place.
“Do you ever take yours off?” She nodded to the cross pendant dangling from his neck.
“No. It stays on. Always.”
“Even when you—”
“Turn around, Violet.”
She giggled and turned while he stood, his body shaking with desire. She scooped up her hair out of the way, a few strands tangled in the clasp of her necklace.
“You like doing that, don’t you?”
“Doing what?”
“Teasing me and acting oblivious to it.” His fingers began to unwork the tangles of her necklace.
“How do I tease you?”
“Well, the little show you just put on is a great place to start.”
She smirked. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He growled and brought his hand around, cupping her throat and encouraging her to lean fully against him.
“Don’t make me out to be a fucking pervert, Violet. Prance around in your tiny little shorts all you want, just as long as you know that you’re doing so for me.”
“We’re not in the classroom anymore, professor. No need to boss me around.”
“Brat.” He said through his teeth. “I’m always the boss.”
She gasped out in the authority in his tone, at the sureness in his actions. His hand around her throat just like she’d imagined a million times while he taught a class.
“I know you daydream about me.” He whispered in her ear. “I can see your mind wander when you’re sitting at the front of my class. You think about all the things you want me to do to you.”
“That’s a bold assumption.” She continued to tease him.
“Mmm.” He rumbled in her ear. “And I bet you’re wet right now.”
“You’re wrong.” She whimpered.
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
“Prove it.”
She stepped away, staring up at him. “H—How?”
He feigned a bored expression, shoving his hands into his pockets with a sigh. “You’re a smart girl, Violet. Figure it out.”
All confidence she had was shredded away by his condescending tone and she released a shaky breath. Prove it? She sat down on the couch, finding his eyes willingly.
Fuck. This was everything the both of them had been daydreaming about. Releasing the tension that had been building between them ever since she started his class.
He would have stopped her if she didn’t want this. And she wouldn’t have given him a show if she didn’t’ want it. She slipped a hand down her shorts, her eyes lulling while his widened at the scene.
Her fingers found her core, throbbing and wet already. She whimpered, trying to look unfazed but he could see how much her legs were shaking.
“That’s a good girl. Let me see.”
She retracted her hand from the silk of her shorts and displayed her fingers, glistening with her excitement.
He grabbed her wrist, investigating the wetness. He tutted. “Now, what are we going to do about this, hm?” His eyes met hers and she melted.
“I don’t know.”
His gaze hardened on hers. “Part of your studies have been based on problem-solving, Violet. I know I’ve been doing my job right. The question is: have you been a good student?”
“Yes,” she whispered, shaking.
“Is that so? Then tell me how we solve this problem that you have.”
“Problem…?”
“You’re sitting in front of your professor, dripping for him. Tell me how we can fix it before you make a mess.”
She swallowed, her mouth dry. “Touch me.”
“Raise your voice when you’re speaking to me.”
She cleared her throat, mildly embarrassed. “Touch me.”
“Touch you? I could fail you for this behaviour that you’re displaying. I can’t think of one reason not to.”
“Please,” she whispered, “please, touch me.”
He sat on the coffee table opposite her. “I can’t risk it… we can’t—”
“Please. Just once, it’s all I will ever ask of you.”
He stared at her, his expression disgruntled. Like she was causing him actual annoyance by asking him such a thing.
“Fuck it.”
He took her fingers past his lips, saturated with her wetness, and sucked on them. Cleaning them and tasting her. Heavenly and sinful.
She gasped as he did so, unable to even wrap her head around what was happening before his lips met hers, his hand on the nape of her neck.
“Kiss me.” He ordered against her and she obliged, whimpering as his tongue found hers.
He stood and leaned over her, pushing her back into the couch. He pulled away momentarily, as much as it pained him.
“You want this?”
She nodded, leaning forward to kiss him but he shook his head.
“Words, Violet. I need to hear you say it.”
“I want you.” She assured him, glad to finally have the words leave her mouth.
“Show me,” he breathed out. “Show me how much you want me.”
He sat back on the table again, leaving her panting and shaking while he slipped his glasses from his face. She bit her lip, finding every ounce of courage that she had before slowly slipping her shorts down her legs.
His eyes never left hers as she got herself comfortable, and he untangled her shorts from her ankle, his cock hardening further when she giggled playfully.
She spread her legs a little, her hand finding its way back between them. He hissed as she played with herself, and he could hear how wet she was as well as see it.
He leaned forward, his hands on her thighs. “Are you this wet for me during class?”
She shook her head slowly.
“Are you lying to me?” His hands smoothed up her legs and he could feel how hard she was shaking having his touch on her.
“No…”
“Mm...” His hands found her sensitive inner thighs and her legs spread further, enticing him in. “I think you’re lying, Violet.” His thumb brushed her sensitive clit and she gasped. “I think…” A little more pressure. “You sit in my class, fantasising about me.” Small circles. “And then you go home, get yourself off and imagine that it’s me doing it.”
“Please—”
“Am I wrong?”
“Fuck,” she cried out as his fingers built up speed and pressure. “No, you’re not wrong.”
“I never am.” He smirked, pulling her so that she was laying down flat on the couch.
His mouth found her cunt in a deep kiss and she rolled her hips up towards him, his hands cupping under her thighs to keep her where he wanted her.
Her back arched at the sensation of his mouth. So wet and hot and skilled. She’d known how good he was with his mouth, as she’d listened to him talk for hours. But this was something else, and she knew she’d never look at his lips the same again.
His brow was furrowed in concentration, and he moaned against her, loving how sweet she tasted. How she was shaking and he’d only just gotten started.
His tongue found her clit in delicate flicks, sucking and nibbling it until she was gasping.
The straps of her camisole fell down her shoulders, and her tits came into his view. Her nipples were pebbled from the cool air and he reached up, pinching and squeezing them with deft fingers.
All he could think of was the fact that she was lightyears better than anything he’d viewed in Gabinetto Segreto. But he knew that before he’d seen her naked.
His ears were ringing with how good she felt and he couldn’t wait to feel her wrapped around his cock. God, he’d grasp onto the feeling forever. He could already see himself begging shamelessly at her knees for a pity fuck.
Her hands came down and entwined with his curls, determined to make a mess of them. She had spent far too many hours admiring the perfect shape of them and the precise middle parting.
He groaned as she pulled them, his eyes finding her blissful expression. He ate her like he’d never had a satisfying meal in all his years. After tasting her, it felt like he hadn’t. And nothing would ever suffice again.
She brought Gabinetto Segreto fucking shame.
He gave her a finger, testing the waters with what she could take. Her body went lax before tightening up in pleasure. His jaw dropped at how warm and snug she was.
“Oh, pet. You’re going to get me addicted to this pretty little pussy, aren’t you?”
She whimpered, rolling her hips up in desperation. The way he was talking to her. Encouraging her and talking her through it. It was all so surreal.
“Professor…”
“What?” He pulled away, annoyed to have her interrupt.
“It’s okay.”
He frowned. “What?
“I—It’s okay. You don’t have to…”
“Don’t have to what?” He was getting pissed off now.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“What, make you come?” He frowned further, bewildered.
“It’s hard for me to do that.”
His eyes softened and he crawled up her body, his hand cradling her jaw tenderly. “Has anyone ever made you come, pet?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Just my vibrator.”
He pouted a little. “That’s a shame, isn’t it? I bet you get so creamy… so relaxed and soft.”
She could feel his hands massaging her body, but she felt lightheaded with how he was talking to her.
“I can make you come, pet. As many times as you want.”
“I don’t know how.”
“You don’t have to do a thing. You just lay back and let your professor look after you, okay? You deserve it after all of your hard work. I’m very impressed.”
“Really?” Her eyes were wide.
“Really. Daddy’s going to reward you, now. Would you like that?”
Her eyes lulled the second that word fell from his mouth.
“Yes.”
“My good little pet.”
His mouth found her core again, reveling in her taste and the feel of her. He helped her relax enough that she could simply feel the pleasure and nothing else. She had been so stuck in her mind but now all she could fathom was pure bliss.
He gave her two fingers, massaging a spot inside of her that she had not discovered before. It was overwhelmingly intense. Pressure and sensitivity and euphoria.
“Relax, Violet. Can you do that for me?”
She focused on keeping relaxed, but almost laughed at his request. How could she relax with his head between her thighs?
She must have done a good enough job because he moaned, closing his eyes and kissing her cunt almost romantically.
He wanted to watch her. To guide her and talk her through it. He came up, licking inside of her mouth, sucking on her tongue.
You’re doing so well.
So sweet for me.
You’re milking my fingers, pet.
Breathe, that’s it.
He could tell she was close and he was watching her in awe. Watching her write in pleasure that only he had ever been able to entice from her. He was far too in his head to feel smug about it, but he knew he’d come back to that later.
“Oh…”
“That’s right,” he coerced. “You’re gonna come all over my fingers, I can feel it. Fuck, do it on my tongue instead.”
He swiftly placed his mouth on her again, paying all of his attention to her clit while his fingers worked inside of her. She was pulsing and it drove him to take her harder, moaning against her.
His arm tensed, the veins in it prominent, snaking around his muscles. He couldn’t fathom why the men before him hadn’t got her here like this. He was addicted to everything about her. Her body and her mind. Her jaw dropped in pleasure.
His mouth latched onto her clit ferociously, and the intensity of it knocked her over the edge of bliss. She writhed around, crying out as it overwhelmed her. He pinned her down, helping her ride the wave.
“Thaaat’s it, pet. What a good girl.” He soothed her as she came down.
She gasped out, grabbing his wrist as he slowly fucked her with his fingers.
“Fuck.” She smiled, meeting his eyes.
“How did that feel, hm?” He checked in, his mouth and chin drenched in her. He kissed her inner thighs, pulling away.
“So good.”
“Yeah?” He came over her. “Let’s get rid of this, shall we?”
She barely had time to register what was going on before he ripped her silk camisole from her body, discarding it behind the couch.
“Hey!” She yelled out. “That was expensive.”
“Daddy will buy you another one.” He promised, his eyes falling over her bare breasts. “Fuck, look at you. Gorgeous little thing.”
She moaned as he gripped her breasts, toying with her nipples. He spat down on her chest, wiping his spit around her tits with a devilish grin.
“You’ll let me do what I want, won’t you, pet?”
“Yes.” She whispered, meaning it.
“The next time you’re in my class,” he pinched her nipple. “I’m gonna make you sit on my lap. Make you read out your paper while I play with your clit and fill your cunt with my cock. Make you cream all over me while everyone watches.”
“Professor—”
He stood abruptly, ridding of his shirt and pants, allowing her to see him as bare as she’d ever seen him. His inked torso and arms. His strong thighs and toned tummy. She felt her insides melt and warp.
He grabbed her hand and placed it over his clothed cock, hard and throbbing.
“Feel what you do to me?” He asked, wrapping his hand around her throat to hold her still while her hand felt him. “I get so hard every time I see you. I can’t fucking stand it.”
Her mouth was watering and she shifted forward, kissing along his length. He growled lowly, feeling his cock twitch and his balls tighten.
“You’re a naughty pet. Come to my class in those tiny dresses because you know I think about pinning you against the wall and slipping inside of you.”
“I wish you would.” Her eyes were wide, staring at his.
He tilted his head, gripping her hair in his fist, his rings catching. “You do, don’t you? Little whore.”
She nodded eagerly, whimpering when he pushed her face forcefully against his crotch. He leaned down, his fingers finding her pussy, slick from her orgasm. He hummed, gathering her wetness and spreading it along his covered cock.
“Messy girl. Clean me up.”
“Make me.”
He glared darkly, his nostrils flaring at her disobedience. He gripped her hair hard enough that tears formed, and he moved his hand to pinch her jaw until she opened it.
“Tongue out.” He barked and she slowly did as she was asked. “Wasn’t so hard, was it? Now, clean me up or I’ll fuck my fist and make you watch.”
He spat on her tongue and she hummed, swallowing before leaning forward and licking off her wetness from his crotch. His brow furrowed at the sight. His feisty little pet.
She sucked on the tip of him over his boxers, and he whimpered before pushing her away. He quickly rid of his boxers, impatient. He had to be inside her. He prided himself in his ability to last but that seemed to be irrelevant when it came to her. Just looking at her naked and pouting was enough to set him off.
She reached for his cock, hard, a bead of pre-come on the tip. He throbbed in her palm, so hot and ready for him. He ran his hands through his hair, his body tingling.
She took him past her lips, her eyes fluttering. His head fell back on his neck as she took his tip, sucking and flicking her tongue against the slit. He encouraged her, his hand tangling into her hair.
“Take more.” He rasped, moaning loudly when she fit half of him in.
She used her hand to work on what she couldn’t fit yet. He was losing it, spitting down on his cock to get it nice and wet before forcing her to take all of him.
She choked on him, her eyes watering as she gagged.
“Fuck,” he gritted his teeth, his abs flexing as he pushed his hips forward.
Tears streamed down her face, smudging her mascara. His thumb wiped under her eyes, smearing it further. He wanted to destroy her.
He took her throat in slow, rolling thrusts, allowing her to breathe and watching when she tapped his thigh when she needed a break.
She picked up her pace, and his knees buckled. He attempted to pull away but her hands wound around his thighs, holding him in place.
“Pet,” he whined, “you gotta stop.”
She eyed him mischievously, moving her mouth harder. Faster.
He swore, grabbing her hair and practically ripping her from him. He threw her back and slapped her cheek before gripping her jaw and pressing his face against hers.
“You’re a fucking brat, you know that?”
She giggled, her cheek stinging, but it fuelled her arousal.
He clenched his jaw, holding hers harder. “You promised you’d behave.”
The feral rage in his eyes made her gulp. She did not fear him, per se, but feared what he’d do to her as punishment. Feared that she’d like it too much.
She wanted him warmed up to her. But she wasn’t sure that he was capable of that.
“I am behaving, professor.”
“I don’t think you are.”
She frowned, pouting. His expression softened, loving how she looked all vulnerable when she did that little face.
He cupped her reddened cheek, looking at her wet eyes and swollen lips from his cock.
She opened her mouth to protest, to apoligise, or to plead. She wasn’t sure.
“I—”
“Shh.. sit back and take my cock, pet.”
The willingness in her eyes melted him and she fell onto her back, pressing her legs together with her knees bent and swaying them side to side.
He took a step forward, fisting his cock with a shaky breath. He had fantasised about this for so long and now that it was finally happening, he couldn’t believe it.
“You look so good.” He complimented, his voice low. His hands ran down her body, feeling every inch and every curve. He settled over her, hitching her leg high over his hip.
“So do you.” She breathed out, her hands running down his sides, feeling the muscles flex.
“You were made for fucking.” He spoke his thoughts, running the tip of his cock between her slick folds. “Made to take me. Made to be used by me.”
She whimpered, rolling her hips up. “Take me. Use me.”
He kissed her, pushing his hips forward a little. She made a soft sound as he pushed inside of her, able to take the tip of him before her body tensed.
“You’re so big.” She whimpered, wide eyes staring up at him.
“You can take it.”
He held her in place, pushing forward and breaking through her tightness. She gasped as she took half of him, and he reached down, rubbing her clit to lessen the sting.
She mewled softly, her body relaxing as he slowly took her. He pushed all the way in, and he swore quietly as she rippled around him.
“Attagirl.” He praised. “I knew you could do it.”
“Oh… my god.” She moaned, her eyes watering at how fucking good he felt. He was so big that she felt him everywhere. He was pressed snugly against that spot he’d found not long before and the pressure of it was blinding.
It was the fact that they definitely should not be doing this that made it feel so much fucking better.
“I’m going to move now.” He informed her, retracting his hips until only his head remained inside of her. He slammed back in forcefully and she cried out, her back arching.
He didn’t stop. He screwed into her relentlessly, pounding her down into the couch. She couldn’t get a single breath in with how hard he was fucking her. His touch never left her clit, until he wrapped his arms around her and stood, holding her up as he fucked up into her.
She bit into his neck, his skin warm and damp beneath her. Her nails embedded themselves into his shoulders, trying to hold on as he took her.
He pressed her against the wall, his head dropping back with a growl. She watched him in awe. The sheer power he exerted on her body was blinding. He was so in control, so feral and animalistic but in control nonetheless.
She had never had someone fuck her like this. He was confident in the classroom, but having him even more so while he was naked and inside of her was something she never knew that she’d experience.
She gripped onto his hair, near on sobbing as he took her. “Professor…”
“Harry.” He gritted out, his curls a mess.
“H—Harry, please.”
“Please, what?” He breathed out, grunting. “Tell me—fuck—tell me what you need.”
“Touch me.”
His hand wound around her throat, his gaze searing on hers. “Tell me where you want me to touch you, pet.”
“My clit.” She whispered out. “I need it, please.”
“Fuck, say my name again.” He huffed, staring at her desperately.
“Please, Harry. I need it.”
He groaned, pushing two fingers in her mouth until she gagged, getting them wet. Then he connected his fingers to her clit and rubbed in delicious circles. Her toes curled, her hands raking down his shoulders and sides as he took her.
“You like that?” He checked, knowing full well she loved it with how tight her pussy was around him.
She nodded, whimpering as he slapped his hips against her.
“Yeah, you do, don’t you? Your pretty little cunt is squeezing me like a fist. Dirty girl letting me use you like this.”
He placed her on her shaky legs, slipping down to his knees. He aided her in placing a leg over his shoulder, opening her up to him. He latched onto her core with a loud moan.
“Taste so good.” He said between licks, her core trembling around his tongue. “Love feeling how my big cock is destroying your pussy.”
He ate her, addicted. He held her up as her body became weak with pleasure. His fingers found her core, fucking her with two fingers while his mouth sucked and nibbled and licked her clit.
She looked down at his face, seeing his eyes closed as he ate her. He was enjoying it just as much as she was. Her professor was on his knees for her.
From tying her shoelace to eating her out in a matter of hours.
He loved being able to taste his cock while he ate her. Able to taste where he’d claimed her and destroyed her. His dick twitched, missing the warmth of her. Wanting to spread his cum inside of her and watch it leak out.
He grabbed her, bending her over the window seat. She stared at the view of the ocean as he stared at the view of her.
“Spread your legs.” He ordered.
She bit her lip, looking back at him. She pressed her legs together and wiggled her ass.
He glared, slapping her ass. “Whore.” Another slap, to which she cried out, clawing at the window. “I said open your fucking legs.”
He kicked her legs open forcefully, spreading her cheeks and staring at her dripping cunt. She moaned as he massaged her skin, his thumb dipping to press against the tight opening of her ass.
He spat down on it, massaging gently before he bent his knees, guiding his cock back to her drenched heat.
She held back her pleasured cries as he fucked her, his skin slapping mercilessly against hers. His thumb played with her ass, watching as she moaned and flowered open to him. His to use.
“Good girl.” He praised. “Take me so fucking well. You love having my big dick fill you up, don’t you?”
She whimpered, rolling her hips back against her thrusts.
He slapped her side. “Don’t you?”
“Y‑Yes, Harry!”
He grabbed her by her throat, pulling her back while he kept fucking her. His lips found her ear, biting on the lobe.
“Call me daddy.” He growled. “Call me daddy and I’ll let you come again.”
She could feel the swirls of it blooming and she swore, her walls clenching around him.
“Please, daddy.” She whimpered, loving calling him something so naughty. “Please let me come.”
“You need daddy to rub your pretty little clit? Huh?”
“Fuck, please, yes I need it.” She gasped, her tits bouncing, drawing his attention to them. He played with her nipples. Twisting and tugging before his touch veered south, finding her clit with an expert touch.
She exploded around him, her body growing lax against him. He allowed her to melt onto the floor, not stopping his thrusts as he helped her through her orgasm. He screwed her on the ground, grunting animalistically in her ear.
They were sweaty messes, writing and naked on the floor as he took her, feral and obsessed. He lifted her ass up, taking her harder and harder, his hands gripped tightly onto her hips.
She clawed at the carpet beneath her, trying to hold onto anything that would keep her steady against his intense thrusts. The sheer power he had was astonishing.
He picked her up, sweeping knick-knacks and a lamp off a side table with a smash, throwing her against the newly cleared surface. Her chest was pressed against the cool wood, and he quickly began fucking her again.
Her knees betrayed her, and he spun her around, sitting her up on the side table. She wrapped her legs around his waist, their bodies pressed tightly together, sweaty and needy.
He pinned her back to the wall, his hand around her throat. They watched where they were connected before locking eyes, moaning before kissing with an intensity that made her toes curl.
He couldn’t get enough of her. His body was wound so tight with arousal, the feeling of finally having her driving him wild.
“Fuck,” he panted, “so fucking good.”
She purposely pulsed her cunt around him, his head going dizzy.
“St—god, you have to stop.”
The expression he wore was hardly an incentive to stop, and she did it more.
“Stop, stop.”
Pulling back, much to her dismay, voiced with a displeased moan, he stepped back from her. He grabbed his cock in his fist, playing with himself while she sat there watching. Desperately writhing, her chest heaving.
She whimpered as he fucked himself harder, the pleasure displayed clearly on his face. She shuffled forward a little, wanting to be the only form of bliss he felt.
He glared. “Did I say that you could move?”
“No, but—”
“Do as you’re told or I will come all over my hand while you watch.”
She bit her tongue, settling back into place with a pout. He chuckled lightly, his stomach tightening at the sight. He wanted to come so fucking bad but he wasn’t done with her.
“Get on all fours, pet.” He instructed, his fist still wrapped tight around himself.
She slowly lowered herself to the floor, on her knees in Infront of him before getting on her hands as well, on all fours just like he asked. He smiled proudly at her, watching her wait for the next instruction.
“I want you to crawl to the bedroom for me.” He purred. “Slowly.”
She bit her lip, hiding her smile, trying to remain unfazed. She did as he asked, just as she always had. Always wanting to impress him. He stalked behind her, watching the way her hips were shaped, watching how her ass swayed as she crawled, watching how her hair fell over her shoulders. She looked back to meet his eyes before picking up her pace a little.
He felt something spike in his bloodstream, and he ran after her, grunting as he picked her up and threw her onto the bed.
“You’re a fucking tease.” He chastised her as he followed. She crawled away, curled up at the top of the bed. “You want to run, pet?”
She shook her head, a mischievous smile lighting up her face as he narrowed his eyes.
“I better make sure you stay put.”
She watched as he went out to the lounge, fishing through his duffel bag before heading back to the bedroom. He began wringing a sage green tie between his hands, eyeing her.
He made his way towards her, gauging her expression. “Give me your hands.”
She did as she was told, mesmerised.
“Good girl.”
He tied her wrists up, not too tight, but tight enough that she wouldn’t slip out. Then he tied them to the white iron headboard, her arms stretched up. He couldn’t resist reaching down to bite and lick her nipples until she was whining and begging him to take her.
“You want this cock?” He shuffled forward until he was kneeling over her chest.
She nodded eagerly and he gripped the hair on top of her head. “Open your mouth. Taste your pussy on my cock before I give it to you again.”
She opened, her eyes fluttering when he pushed his dick into her mouth, all the way, not letting her adapt to his size. Just letting her taste him. Feel him.
“So pretty with your mouth full, aren’t you?”
She choked, her eyes prickling with tears that threatened to roll over before he pulled away. And then he was flipping her over, pulling her up onto her knees and elbows and fucking her so brutally that she feared the whole hotel would hear.
He made noises that were animalistic. Feral and unhinged. He fucked her so hard that neither of them could see straight. Hitting her so deep she could feel it in her throat.
He wasn’t sure he could last much longer, and he wanted to hold her. He moved her to her side, spooning behind her. He lifted her outer leg up, slipping his throbbing cock into her drenched heat with a deep, rolling moan.
His fingers found her clit again, and she reached back to kiss him messily. Their tongues met, wet and unashamed. He wanted her to come again, and his cock screwed into her relentlessly while he drew tight circles on her clit.
“Come for me.” He panted. “Please. I need it. Give me another one, all over my cock. You can do it, pet.”
She whimpered, her brow furrowed as he growled, taking her harder than he had all night. Her orgasm shattered her before she knew it was upon her.
She keeled forward, and he wound his arms around her to keep her steady while she came, crying out his name so loud that he had to give her two of his fingers to bite down on.
He swore at how tight she became when she climaxed, her walls pulsing and clenching around him. He fought to hold on, but his body was overworked and she felt so fucking good.
With a whine, he untied her hands and gently moved her onto her back, slipping inside of her with a long sigh. He took her, deep and slow and with a fluidity that had her legs shaking.
He wanted to come staring into her eyes. With her legs wrapped around his waist. His name was on her lips as he pounded into her relentlessly.
“Will you tease me again?” He asked her, his eyes searing.
“Yes.” She gasped out.
“You’re my little fuck toy.” He was a mess. “Mine to fuck and fill with my cum. Reward you for your hard work in my class. Make you come every time you pass.”
“All yours.” She breathed out, desperate to get him there. “I’m your dirty secret, professor.”
“Can’t fucking stand how you make me feel. Filthy fucking girl. Tell me you want my cum.”
“I want your cum, professor.”
“How bad do you want it?”
“I need it so bad. Please, fill me up with it.”
He growled out her name, burying his head in her neck and biting on the skin. His orgasm rocked through him, and he fucked her through it, not caring when she cried out in discomfort.
He wanted this. To fill her. Claim her. Stake his mark seeing as she’d sought after him. Teased him and poked until he gave in. He’d rip every one of those sundresses off her for a taste of how magical she was.
Like visiting all seven wonders of the world and discovering millions of new ones all at once.
***
I hope you enjoyed x
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lis-likes-fics · 8 months ago
Text
Matters of Propriety
Pairings: Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader, Rhaenyra Targaryen x Laenor Velaryon (Platonic) Word Count: 6.4k words Warnings: NSFW, smut, constant use of metaphors, reference to homosexuality as an illness, fingering, oral (f!receiving), soft dom!Rhaenyra, consensual adultery, useless lesbians, kinktober... A/N: I love Rhaenyra. She's so scrumptious and I enjoyed writing this. I wish I could have done more bc I don't feel like I did her dominance justice, but, given the circumstance, it's actually not an issue. Anyway, enjoy and Happy Halloween!
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Rhaenyra brings a hand to her tired eyes, working away at the warmth in her temple as she looks upon her husband. “Do you toil in anything but sea and sex, husband?”
Laenor is especially restless today, just in a more excited way. He's practically beaming from ear and ear as he shares the gossip he's learned with his wife. Although it's a pleasant thing to see him so full of life, Rhaenyra would humbly ask for some rest if she were not so busy today.
Laenor rolls his eyes more pleasantly than she. He turns his back to tidy the scrolls piled on a table. “This isn't sea or sex. It's gossip.” He glances over his shoulder mischievously. “And, yes, I do.”
Rhaenyra sighs. “What are the matters of a servant girl’s likes of sex to me?” Her brows furrow, a light sheen of humor in her voice as she tilts her head. “What are they to you? Might I remind you, Laenor, you prefer snake to oyster.”
Laenor laughs. “And even if she's meant to prefer the same, just as you do, she does not.” He lets out another giddy laugh, like he's thought of some witty banter to add on. “Anyone who feasts upon the wrong meal is my friend.” He turns and leans against the table, looking at her with a quirked brow. “She's your friend, too, Rhaenyra.”
The way he says it makes her squint. “And what is that meant to mean?”
He smirks. “She's one of your servants.”
“Who?”
“Your favorite.”
Now her interest is piqued. She tilts her toward him, almost scoffing as she considers this. “Truly?”
He comes over, leaning over a chair and shrugging. “What reason have I to lie?”
“Entertainment.”
He scoffs, plopping down in the seat opposite her. “I find entertainment in this without need for deceit.” He watches her, watches the way her face shifts as she thinks about what he's just told her. It's surely just rumor. But a rumor like this could be deadly—of course, he knows better than to spread something so dangerous. “Admit it. You're interested.”
She takes in a deep breath, standing to act like she's got better things to do. And she should…but at the moment, she's got nothing to occupy herself until the small council meeting.
“I have no need to be interested.”
He chuckles, rolling his eyes in amusement. “You prefer snake.”
“I do.” She turns away. “Besides, what is there to like without the usefulness of an extra appendage?”
His smirk is diabolical. “Why don't you ask her yourself?”
She tilts her chin up, humoring him for the sake of humoring him. “Perhaps I will.”
It's a wonder his smile grows. It had already been split so far that she wondered if someone had taken a knife to it.
“Excellent!”
~
Rhaenyra is settled in one of the rare moments where she has time to herself. Laenor is on one of his many ventures, she has no appointments, and no one has come to bother her yet. She's been busying herself with needlework (though she knows she has a terrible hand in it, it gives her something to do).
When someone knocks on the door, she glances up and mutters a distant, “Come.”
The door opens. “Princess.” She glances up at the voice, one she recognizes well. You bow gently, offering a smile as you hold out your tray. “I brought your tea, if it please you.”
Rhaenyra smiles, nodding and allowing you farther inside. “Thank you.”
You come and sit the tray down on the table, pouring her cup and adding her sugar. “Would you like me to bring anything, my princess?”
She shakes her head. “That won't be necessary. Thank you,” she says again.
You hum. Once her tea is prepared, you move to tidy her room. There's no real mess, but the longer you spend in here, the less time you have to spend doing other tedious and mind-numbing work. Besides, the princess has expressed to you how she doesn't mind your presence. You prefer to be here.
You start gathering empty cups and any forgotten dishes, wiping as you go. “If you don’t mind my asking, Princess, how fares your day?” You know she doesn’t mind, but you’ll never be able to shake your impulsion toward over-politeness. “It’s been quite lovely out.”
“That it has,” she says. Rhaenyra sets down her canvas, reaching for her cup to take a sip of the tea you’d so graciously brought her. “Meanwhile, I have been confined to the castle doing court duties and pretending the men are actually listening to me.”
A stray chuckle seeps from your nose. “One day, you shall be queen, my princess, and then they will have to listen to you.”
Rhaenyra’s chuckle is more rueful, but just as stray as yours. “That day can’t come soon enough, it seems.”
She likes the way you address her. Most of the people here call her princess with such emphasis, as if they were reminding her of her place as though it were eternal. She is the heir to the throne, yet they call her princess almost like they were saying “peasant”. When you say it, “my princess”, she almost thinks for a moment that she is already Queen.
Rhaenyra hums, glancing at you as you feather thin dust from shelves. Laenor’s words echo in her mind. She had almost forgotten the rumor she’d heard, almost let it slip her mind in the time between seeing the two of you. As she watches you, it’s glued in her mind, stuck like honey in her head.
She imagines it now. Your lips against a woman’s—a woman’s whose lips are suspiciously pale and whose nose is suspiciously distinct.
“Some gossip has come about me from my husband today,” she says without much thought. It slips out more than she means to say it. Even her tone has become shifty in the last moment. “It seems he’s as bored as to listen to the rumors of the servants in the Keep.”
You hum without turning, still stalling to avoid going back to work. “Is that so, Princess? What rumors, if I may ask?”
She chooses her words carefully, slowly. “Rumors of a servant girl with…queer customs.”
Your hesitance was almost indistinguishable. You could have gotten away with it, but she’s watching too closely. You continue almost without a hitch. “What sort of queer customs?”
Rhaenyra licks her bottom lip. “Ones that make her adverse to the taste of sailors…or sea-men, in other words.” She almost couldn’t believe herself. She’s turned to her husband’s humor.
There’s a long pause where you consider her words, wondering if they’re funny or thoroughly ridiculous. You suppose they’re both. “I do not know many who prefer the taste of…sea-men, as you say.” You don’t look at her. You keep your gaze solely on task. “Though a different story can be told of sailors.”
Rhaenyra shifts her whole body toward you, tilting her head and smirking lightly in a less-than-subtle investigation. “Do you like it?”
You purse your lips, considering your options.Your belly churns. “Would it be rude not to answer, my princess?”
She hums. “Well, it is generally frowned upon to disobey your masters.” She doesn’t want to pressure you, but she’s far too intrigued now to let it go. She doesn’t quite know why.
You sigh gently, thinking for a moment. She’s right. You try to find solace in the fact that you don’t think she’s the type to look down upon you and order your execution because of your…your perversions.
You’d hoped to keep it secret forever. You’ve even tried to fix yourself of your sickness, but you’ve found that it is something that cannot be done.
“Truthfully…” you mutter, your heart aching in a sad way, “No, Your Highness, I do not like…” you’re getting a bit exhausted of the metaphor but you would rather not change to practical terms when talking to the princess, “...sea-men.”
She looks away from you, and you’re grateful for it because you can pretend to busy yourself again. “I suppose that’s understandable enough. They can be quite salty in nature.”
Gods be good.
“Yes. Quite,” you mumble dismissively. You know you shouldn’t ask, but it’s eating away at you. You could be in danger… “If you don’t mind my asking, Princess, where did Ser Laenor hear such a rumor?”
She tries not to make a joke about his tastes. “Who knows where he finds his gossip?” You hum in agreement to dismiss it.
Rhaenyra’s curiosity is probably what got the better of her. She didn't fully intend to ask, but Laenor's words from below are stuck in her head. “Why don't you ask her yourself?”
“I wonder what fun it could truly be.” She waves a hand, taking a sip from her near forgotten tea. “Seeing as it could only be used for fun in this instance; there's no duty without the injection.”
You swallow thickly. “I wouldn't say simply fun.” You shouldn't say anything at all. “Though it does remove transaction from the activity.” You sigh, faltering to keep up the ruse with your unnecessary feathering of clean shelves. You turn toward her, running your fingers through the slightly dusty feathers. “With something like this, there must be trust.”
Rhaenyra watches you closely, the way you speak of it. It's more blatant than you should be in this circumstance, but she's not really focused on that when she's too busy studying the crease between your brows or the softness of your lips.
“Without trust, there is no fun or intimacy in it. Without fun or intimacy, there is no pleasure. You must be willing to give up a part of yourself and accept a part of someone else.”
There's a silence where you watch each other. You're quick to realize your mistake as you physically take a step back, looking down at your feet and hiding your embarrassment. She doesn't say anything, she just watches you with this look you can't decipher.
“Forgive me, Princess.” You bow your head and drop your hands by your side. You turn quickly, unsure what else to do. “In truth, I simply worry for the girl. She could be in quite a lot of danger if she were to be exposed. I shall pray to the Mother for her safety.”
You should leave. You've likely overstayed your welcome.
Rhaenyra breaks away from her thoughts, trying to organize them as she sits a little straighter. She sets her cup down on the table before her. She hums, trying to be light-hearted again but failing with the way her head is so full of your words. “‘Tis a shame, really,” she clears her throat, “that such a thing is of such offense.” She takes a breath and stands, just to give her something to do as she circles the sofa and leans against it.
“Pleasure is pleasure. Who should care where a man chooses to stick it? Or, perhaps, where a woman…” she falters. “Well, we don't have anything to stick, do we?” She should forget about it. “I simply wonder how…the deed is done without the…tool.” She decides she just likes to hear you speak.
“Well…” you still don't watch her, though you hesitate in the middle of your task, “I would not believe it to be as difficult as it would seem.” You take up a light blanket to fold.
She raises a brow. “Is that so?” She strokes the back of the couch with a ring-clad hand. “Tell me, how do you suppose it's done?”
“Princess?”
She shrugs in faux innocence. “I'm simply curious. Of course, if you have other duties to tend to.”
What she's proposing has no shortage of lack of propriety. It would be even worse if you responded. But…
Your gaze drifts down to her hand, a stray thought in your mind imagining the fabric was your flesh. When she squeezes lightly, you hate that you imagine her hands wrapping around your thigh…just to feel.
It is generally frowned upon to disobey your masters.
You swallow a lump in your throat, that you assume is nerves over want. It cannot be want.
“Well…if I had to guess, I would assume she could use,” you hesitate, “her hands.”
Rhaenyra doesn't have the thought to raise a curious brow. Her face doesn't change much as she stares at you, strangely hooded as you pass it on for confusion instead of what you recognize it to be.
“Just the same as a man could…” your words become a little quieter, “...or rather, as a man chooses not to, in my experience.”
Rhaenyra inches closer. It doesn't register. “How would she use them?” How could her voice be so smooth? It's like a layer of velvet on your skin, and you don't know how to manage that.
“Any way she saw fit.” You hadn't expected your voice to dip as it had, a richer tone influenced by the way she watches you. You hadn't realized the way your finger dipped between the fold of the blanket you've been holding for the last couple minutes. “You could just feel, massage, you could.. You could use them in place of a man's tool. Of course, they would not eject.”
Her chuckle is so shallow, with no real intent to emphasize humor. Her thoughts are confusing.
“No, I suppose not,” she mutters. She steps even closer, tilting her head. “Would her hands be all she would use?”
It's a strange thing, knowing more than the princess—informing the princess on what you know. She listens with such curiosity, such interest. You have to stifle the pull in your chest. It isn't proper. You shouldn't be telling her about any of this—it isn't proper.
But you carry on because you can't help it. Not when she looks at you like that.
You lick your bottom lip absently. “Well, if they were, my princess, what would be the point of the taste for sailors? Rather than simply the touch of them? Women often prefer a sailor’s salty taste. Some men have an indulgence for, not just the bee, but the honey, too.”
You hadn't realized you'd both gotten so close. She's only a few feet from you now, staring at you with eyes that should not be regarding you in such a way. “And if you had a taste for honey? How would you indulge?”
“Frequently.” Rhaenyra had not meant to gasp the way she did. It's soft and barely audible, but you catch it. It's hard to miss anything when she's so close, staring you in the eyes, running her fingers together with gentle brushes of skin.
You break the heavy eye contact with a glance down. “But I assume that would pose a challenge, as not many bees prefer their honey to be tasted by other bees, especially if not by a man.” You shake your head, looking back at her with a new kind of certainty. “No, many bees prefer the sailor and their sea.”
You hate the gods for making you as they did, but sometimes you hate them for making everyone else as they are instead. If you had to come out so wrong, why could no one else join you?
Rhaenyra can see this in your eyes. It's just a little glint, but she recognizes the same look in her husband from time to time. The difference is that he's allowed his indulgences in secret. You must have more trouble. Women always have more trouble…
Her breath is light when she breathes. “And what if one was willing to try?”
You look at her quickly, eyes wide and a little skeptical. “To try, Princess?”
“The indulging.” The step she takes is long. She stands right before you now, hardly a foot away. “Or even allowing one a taste of it? Say this…servant girl, perhaps?”
You squeeze your thighs together, though you don't mean to. She's a very intimidating person, and it makes you falter in your reasoning for why all of this is a terrible idea.
“I'd say…maybe she'd agree.” She's so close. If you took a step, leaned in just a bit…
“But there are many things to consider.” You step around her, ridding yourself of the closeness to put space between you. This is dangerous, she is dangerous. The way she looks at you, the way she makes you feel. It's not fair, and it's not right.
She spins around, dizzy from the sudden break in tension. “What sort of things?”
You drop the blanket on a chair and run your hands down your apron, an attempt to center yourself. “Things like…like whether or not this woman, potentially even a princess so interested in tasting, has a husband? A royal one, at that?” You shake your head. “This servant could be killed.”
Rhaenyra sighs, waving a hand as she looks upon your back. “If a person was killed every time they tried other indulgences, we would have very few people left in the world.”
You turn toward her, but make no move to come closer. “Even still.”
“What if this princess,” she closes the distance again, this time scooping your hands into her own. Her hands are very warm, much warmer than your own. They are only contrasted by the chill of golden rings. It's inviting as you try not to lean into her touch. You can't look at her. You're already breaking so many rules by letting her touch you. You're breaking rules by talking of such things with her.
“What if she were to tell the servant that her royal husband has his own tastes to favor? Not in bees, but in sailors?”
Royal husbands are a much different standard than lowly servants. But the only thing in your mind with such a proposal is, “And what if the princess dislikes the servant's work?”
You shudder when her warm palm envelopes your cheek. Your eyes flutter, and you look into her eyes. What a temptress she is, to look at you like that. To look so deeply into your eyes that you falter every time you come from a blink.
This is one of the only times when you're grateful for your sickness. If you had not been the way you were, her beauty would be so ordinary to you. She is anything but.
“Then she shall decide for herself.”
Your voice is so soft now, afraid to rupture this feeling between you. You feel manipulated, but you can't bring yourself to mind. If your roles had been reversed, you'd likely do the same.
“What if something happens?” You raise a hand to cover the back of hers. “If someone sees? There are many things to be considered.”
Her hand slips down from your cheek to grasp your chin between her forefinger and thumb. “If you wish not to continue, then you may yo. But it's as you said…” she's so close, you can feel her shallow breath on your lips, “this requires trust.”
Your eyes dart between her own, taking in every feature of her face. Gods, how beautiful is she?
She leans in, tilting her head in such a way that you become dizzy. “Will you put your trust in your princess?”
How could you refuse?
“Yes.”
“Then who's to say it's wrong?”
Your breaths mingle. She leans in quickly, and your breath hitches in anticipation of the kiss. Just as they barely brush, she pulls back again. It becomes this dance, a back-and-forth, push-and-pull. You know she's playing with you, and you invite her in full compliance. You would be her court jester if only she asked.
When she kisses you, it's maddening. Your thoughts are blurred in a swirling motion in your head. Your ears become fuzzy, your lungs already ache. You breathe her essence in through your nose and out through your mouth as she pulls you in by the back of your neck. She tastes of sweet wine, of grapes and blueberries.
Your hands grasp at her sides, pulling at the fabric wrapped securely around her body. “Princess,” you gasp against her lips.
You feel her lips curl against your own, her smirk fueling a fire between the both of you. “Shh,” she says between kisses. Her palms cup your face, her lidded eyes taking in the sight of you so close. “Just show me how you do it.”
You lean in to gather her lips again, your breaths heavy between you. You walk her back, pushing her up against the wall as your hands explore the length of her body. Your lips trail over her own, kissing the corner of her mouth and slipping down to her neck. Your teeth nip at her skin, your tongue laps, your lips suck. Her eyes flutter closed as she leans into it. Her hands grip your arms and beg you not to go.
You pull away from her then, your bodies still flush against one another as you take in the sight of her. Her eyes are of lavender, her skin is of ivory, her hair is of silkweed. She’s dripped in maroon and pearls. As you brush your knuckles down her cheek, smiling as you move to kiss her again.
There’s a soft smack of your lips as you pull away. Pinching her chin between your fingers as she had done yours, you whisper so closely to her lips that they brush with each word. “You are so beautiful, my princess.”
She stares at you. She had been called beautiful before. She has known intimacy and she has known passion, but there is something in the way that you speak to her that has her chest aching. A heavy breath puffs shallowly from her mouth.
Before she says anything, you kiss her again as your hand reaches down to collect fistfulls of fabric. You press a kiss to her collarbone, nipping lightly as her breath hitches. You slip to your knees, dipping your hands beneath her dress and pressing your hands to the thinly veiled skin of her legs. Her stockings stop just above her knee, tied neatly that morning while she was readying herself for the day.
She watches you, her eyes dark but so intently focused on you. You look up at her as you ride her dress, layer upon layer, up the length of her body. She reaches down and captures it, holding it in her hands and relieving you of the duty.
You’re holding your breath when you lean in to press a chaste kiss to the inside of her thigh. Her skin is so warm. If she had not been so soft, too, you would have wondered if she’d really been a dragon all along. You cup the back of her thigh in your hand, stroking up and down and enjoying the feeling of such smooth flesh.
You shift her leg over your shoulder, turning your head to kiss her thigh again. Her breath, although thick and shallow, is such a gentle thing. She never tears her gaze away. Her hips jerk lightly when your excitement manifests in little nips into her skin. There’s a pleasant feeling that stems from it.
“Must you tease?” Rhaenyra huffs, though not of any real offense. Her chest rises and falls like she’s ready to burst. A swell of pride blooms in your chest at the knowledge that she could be so aching for your touch.
“Apologies, Princess,” you smile, raising a tentative hand farther up the side of her thigh to bring her closer. You move so slowly as you inch toward her, this aching need which you have yet to see but can smell so dearly. “May I?” you whisper, so softly that you are almost unheard.
Her leg shifts to push her heel into your shoulder blade, not roughly but in a way to induce haste. She brings you just a bit closer, dipping her head. “You may.”
Just as soon as the permission leaves her throat, you attach yourself to her. You dip your tongue between her folds. You lick and suckle around her pearl. Arousal has already seeped from her need and is painting your tongue.
Rhaenyra’s hips cant forward, and there's a slight shudder. As one of her hands desperately grasps at her dress, the other reaches down to card through your hair.
You flick your tongue along the seam of her cunt. You really had chosen the right word—honey. She tastes sweet, a filling nectar you would die to feast upon.Rhaenyra is eager to feel it all, amazed by how wonderful you are at this, better than even Ser Criston Cole—who had always been very eager to taste her in her youth.
She supposes it shouldn’t be so surprising. You both have the same parts, it would only make sense that you knew how to use them. Your dull nails dig into her ass, bringing her forward as you both rock against one another. Her moan catches in her throat, and her hand reaches forcefully out to take hold of the table at her side. She grips it tight in order to keep herself up, looking down at you as her chest struggles to keep up with her lust.
“You are very eager to please,” her voice shakes.
You stroke your tongue along the length of her cunt, pressing a messy kiss into her pearl as you pull back just enough to speak. “That is not a difficult feat when you taste as good as you do.” A rough kind of whine slips when you suck around her pearl. “I was right about the honey.”
She smiles in the middle of the rock of her hips. “I might have to taste a sample myself. Just to check. Ah–!” Her hand flies out to take hold of your hair again, just to ground herself when you lap your tongue inside of her. “Right there,” she groans, her voice lower now with the coming of her relief. “Oh, gods, don’t stop.”
You focus on her pearl now, lapping and laving at it with all the strength you have left in your tongue. It’s a bit tired from the work, but it’s a good kind of feeling when you’re being rewarded so generously. The fat of her thigh is a welcomed weight on your shoulder, an even better weight in your hand as you stroke your hand up and down the length of it. You squeeze it in fervent desire.
You can feel her clenching against your tongue, her hips become more jerky with their movement. You hum into her, anticipating her release as much as she does. Her breath stalls in her chest as it builds and builds.
Right as she's at the cusp, you murmur against her pearl. “Breathe, Princess.”
Just as she takes a breath, a crashing wave rolls over her. She trembles against you, gasping as her head whirls with the weight of her release. You hold her steady, lapping up the precious taste of her cunt with a desperate need. She jerks forward when you suckle gently on her sensitive pearl.
When the rush dies down to something a little easier, her breaths become deeper as a drunken smile finds her lips. “I could certainly make this a habit.”
You press your mouth into her thigh, laying a sweet kiss upon her skin. “Tis likely to be a bad one.”
She shakes her head, moving her leg off your shoulder and lifting you to stand with a curled finger under your chin. “Nothing bad about it.” She leans in, her lips hovering.
You pull away by the slightest inch, watching her gentle eyes. “Did I do well, my princess?” You lift your hand to cautiously rest at her back, your fingers curling through silver locks. “Have I pleased you?”
There's something about you that makes her head spin. “Yes, darling,” she rasps. “You are magnificent.”
You smile like she's given you an incredible gift, accepting her kiss with a similar enthusiasm than you'd accepted the honey between her plush thighs. You're needy in gluing your lips to hers, wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her against you by the small of her back.
She eases your mouth from hers, her breath short from the greatness of your desire. “You can call me Rhaenyra. I feel we've reached the point where such formalities are no longer necessary.”
You chuckle breathily. “Of course, Princess.”
She pinches your chin. “Go sit.” She lets go of you.
Just for the humor, you dip into a curtsy, looking up through your lashes as you do. “Yes, my princess.”
You turn and walk toward the sofa, sitting with your legs pressed together and your hands upon your lap. She watches you for a moment, doing nothing but watching. Your humor is dissipating as you look away, unable to take the heat of her gaze.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare, sweetling?” she asks gently.
You nod. “A bit, yes.”
She takes a step closer. “Do not be nervous. I won't hurt you.”
“I know.”
She moves toward you, and you peek up at her with eyes wide in anticipation. She comes to stand in front of you, standing tall in all her glory and regality. She's ethereal, especially with the way the golden light of the evening is peering in through the windows.
She bends down, her hands on either side of your head as she boxes you in. You lose your breath. You don't think you'll ever be able to stand her being this close to you.
She kisses you. “Spread your legs for me.” You're shy, but you do as she asks. Your thighs inch farther apart as you indulge in the taste of her lips. Her hand cups your throat. Your breath stalls, and then starts again to inhale more of her.
You feel her palm trail down the column of your neck, her fingers tickling your throat. She moves down your front before she's riding the skirt of your dress and apron up your legs. When her hand touches your bare thigh, your hips jerk slightly. She shushes against your lips, moving closer and closer until her hand is cupping the wet of your cunt.
“Gods, you're dripping.” You want to say something, but you can't. Her middle finger sinks between your lips, parting them to make way for her intrusion. You clamp down on her finger, your hips rolling against her hand already.
She strokes inside of you, curling her finger and coaxing you closer. When she adds the second, a slight hum slips from her throat. You reach out, grabbing a hold of her arm.
“A little deeper,” you guide gently, tilting your hips up. When she adjusts, your head spins. “Fuck, Princess, right there.”
She focuses there, hovering over you as she presses her lips to your forehead, to lips, the tip of your nose. “Do you like that?” she huffs.
You nod, holding her arm tighter. “Yes. Yes, my princess.”
She dips her head down to your neck, and you whimper when she nips at your flesh. “You'll have to guide me,” she whispers into your ear.
You're a bit confused as she removes her fingers from you. You stifle your whine, watching with bated breath as this princess, the heir to the Targaryen throne, kneels before you. Her handmaiden. A lowly servant who was meant to stay beneath her.
She eases your leg over your shoulder just as you had done before. She presses her mouth against your thigh, kissing it and licking her lips. She looks you in the eyes, smirking as she brings her fingers to her mouth. She dips them between her lips, and the sigh that parts your lips leaves you breathless. She hums deeply. “I can see why you called it honey.”
You chuckle lightly. When Rhaenyra’s lips wrap around your cunt, you whimper. You're careful in setting your hand at the side of her head, carding your fingers through her hair. You don't grasp her, you don't guide her. You just hold her as you watch her with hooded eyes and parted lips.
She sucks on your folds, flicking her hot tongue along the seam of your cunt and slipping it inside clumsily. Either way, it's nice. It's not often you get attention like this, and from a princess?
“Up a little more, princess.” Your voice is light and high with pleasure. When she does as you say, your sigh is tinted with a whine. “Good. Right there.”
She suckles lightly at your pearl, licking and tasting with a curious intent. Her fingers prod at your pussy again, and you arch your back when she presses two inside.
Rhaenyra is a quick learner. Her pace is steady as she curls her fingers, coaxing them in and out of you with an eagerness that you had displayed before. Her lips and tongue work at your pearl, licking and sucking and making you feel like you'll burst any second.
“Please, don't stop,” you gasp. “You're amazing.”
There's a certain power in having someone desire you, blubbering with pleasure and begging for more. It goes straight to her head. She thrusts her fingers into you as though she wielded her own cock, she laps at your slick like she's been deprived of water for far too long. She huffs and groans, drunk on the taste of you, on the pleasure.
You've never met a woman so eager to please another. When they're not shy about indulging in something so forbidden, they're too used to professionalism to initiate intimacy. Having this kind of desire is hard and it's depriving. If Rhaenyra keeps this up, you'll make the mistake of falling utterly in love with her.
You bite your lip, trying to keep quiet to keep from alerting the knight at the door. The walls are thick, no one should hear you.
“I'm so close,” you whisper, rolling your hips in your haste to come. “Please, my princess, don't stop.”
When she hums, it comes with a desperate sort of sound. Your thighs tremble around her head, trying not to close her in. You become dizzy, your head spins with the weight of her pleasure. Your eyes squeeze shut and–
“Princess,” you bring a hand to your mouth, breathing heavily into your palm. Your hips roll and your mind whirls with the sensations of her lips sucking on your pulsing pearl, spurring you on and on. Her finger curls against a deep spot within you that has you seeing stars behind your eyes. “Fuck, Rhaenyra,” you curse, whimpering under your breath and losing composure.
Her hand slips out of you just to grasp your backside, pulling you in and devouring you as you continue to become slick with arousal. Her nose presses into your pearl when her tongue is too busy at your folds. Her warm breath fans over your skin in such a delicious way.
When your trembling has subsided, she eases away from you with a huff. She's got a drunken smile on her lips, her pupils blown wide and your eyes dark with pleasure. “I see why you enjoy that so much.”
You smile, catching your breath as she breaks away from you to crowd your space once more. Your tongue is heavy, and your words are sticky. You look at her like you'll be shattered if you don't hear what you want to hear. “Did I do well, my princess?”
She smiles, raising a hand to stroke your cheek with gentle knuckles. “You are perfect.” The look on your face is devastating. There's a bursting joy in your eyes, a kind of joy that only comes when it's been met with a considerable amount of sorrow.
She tilts your chin up, embracing you in a different kind of kiss. This one is all for you. She kisses you like she wants you to know something that she doesn't know how to say aloud, like she's telling you a secret that only you could ever understand.
She pulls away, still cupping your cheek. You swallow thickly, watching her and taking in every little feature of her face before you're forced to keep your head down once more.
“Will you regret it?” Your voice is so small that she almost misses it. If her nose had not still been brushing yours, she would have. “When I leave, and you've had the night to contemplate… will you regret letting me touch you? Will you regret…touching me?”
She wonders briefly who hurt you. You are such a good woman. You are loyal and eager to please. Not to mention, you are utterly beautiful.
She doesn't know quite how to navigate this. So instead, she sighs as she looks upon your face. Worry and doubt creases every little feature that lies there. She presses a kiss to your forehead, over the crease between your brows.
“No, sweet girl.”
You blink, taking her answer for what it is as you smile. “Okay,” you whisper.
She leans in to kiss you. There's a knock on the door.
Rhaenyra sighs, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips and straightening her back. “A moment.” She holds a hand for you, and you take it as she brings you to stand.
“Finish your work…” She pauses. “Will I see you again soon?”
You smile, nodding gently. “If my princess commands it.”
Her smirk soon follows. “She does.” She knows she's taking too long. “Goodbye, my darling.”
You nod. “Goodbye, my princess.”
You linger too long. You are wasting time. You break away from her, grabbing your tray of dishes, stacking her cold tea on top. When she's sure you're both decent, she sighs.
“Come.”
As the door opens, you give a curtsy. “Princess.”
She nods, but it's such a small movement that you'd question if she'd already forgotten you if you knew she wasn't doing it for appearances.
As you walk down the hall, you glance up when you see Ser Laenor walking toward you. You look up at him, pausing to curtsy.
He looks at you, giving you a smile that makes you nervous as he fully stops. You think you hear him sniff, and then his smile grows into something more mischievous. With a quiet chuckle, he wags his finger at you before turning on his heel to continue to—you assume to be—Rhaenyra’s chambers.
You continue walking, slowly this time as you try to figure out why he would react in such a way. You guide your nose toward your shoulder and almost freeze in place.
Gods be good… You smell like her.
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Ice and Fire taglist: @divinearchangel @alexxavicry @katsukis1wife @kmc1989 @the-nerdy-goddess @urmomsgirlfriend1 @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @lover-of-books-and-tea @avalyaaa @rozendiors @seabasscevans @hc-geralt-23 Tag yourself here...
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viperify · 7 months ago
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Smutmas 2024 | ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ x ᴍᴜɢɢʟᴇ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
We will meet again.
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Short summary: You know your way around your town, which is why a handsome stranger at your local Christmas market instantly catches your attention. However, you surely are in for a surprise…
A/N: Posting this at 6am bc I have no life. Part two coming asap (buckle up for some hate fucking)
wordcount: 1,8k
part 2
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The powdery snow crunches under the sole of your winter boots as you stroll through the Christmas market in your town. You inhale deeply, the smell of freshly baked gingerbread and orange-scented mulled whine filling your senses. Small children run around, screeching as they chase each other with snowballs. Your friends agreed to meet you later that evening, so for now, you enjoyed some alone time.
As you pass a group of musicians playing Christmas carols, a handsome stranger catches your attention. He is wearing a black winter coat and leather gloves, one hand in the pocket of his coat while he is gesturing towards the exit with the other, seemingly more than ready to leave. His beautiful brunette curls fall onto his forehead on one side, a few snowflakes sticking to his hair.
The longer you stare at him, the more curious you become where he might be from, given that you live in a fairly small town and everyone knows each other. You two lock eyes for a brief moment before he returns his attention to who you assume to be his friends. They soon turn their heads too, grinning when they spot who he was looking at. “Shit.” You curse under your breath, quickly disappearing behind a jewellery stand.
Tom did not want to be there by any means. Yet Mattheo, Draco and Theo had somehow convinced him to accompany them. Or, as he suspected, drugged him into compliance. These ridiculous muggle traditions and celebrations had even as a kid infuriated him. Not to mention that he was freezing in this weather, every tiny snowflake melting on his coat only adding to his irritation.
“I am leaving. I have had enough of this.” He sneers, pointing towards the exit. The others don’t pay his complaints any attention, exchanging knowing glances and resuming their conversation. Tom’s eyes wander around the market as the musicians begin another song. That’s when he spots you – staring right back at him.
Your figure is hidden beneath a thick winter jacket, a red scarf wrapped snugly around your neck, and a thin layer of snow covering the top of your head.
“Tom?”
He snaps out of his thoughts and turns toward his brother. “What were you-“ Mattheo begins, but stops mid-sentence, turning to scan the place. A sly grin forms on his lips as he sees you quickly turn to leave. “I see, I see. Tom Riddle ogling a muggle girl, huh?”
A scoff escapes Tom. “I wasn’t.”
The others laugh at how unconvincing his answer was. A whole new Tom had just emerged from Merlin knows where. Even he himself couldn’t believe the uncertainty in his voice, there was no way a muggle girl could be this intriguing at first sight. For the next few minutes he found himself unable to get his mind off you no matter what he tried, utterly convinced you had to be a witch as well. That was exactly what he was going to attempt to find out.
“I will be back.” Tom excuses himself, not waiting for an answer, heading in the direction you had disappeared. “Have fun!” The others tease, but he doesn’t care a bit. He had to find you.
“Thanks so much!” You smile, handing the man behind the counter some cash in exchange for a steaming hot cup of berry-flavoured tea. The brunette’s gaze still lingers in your mind, and secretly you wish he had followed you. There was something about him – something strange almost. An energy you had never felt before.
The cup warms your hands, numb from the cold as you stupidly enough had forgotten your gloves at home. Taking a first careful sip of your tea, you make your way to find a bench. Or so you think.
Just as you pass a beautifully decorated Christmas tree, a tall figure appears in front of you. You bump into him, spilling the tea everywhere. “God, I am so sorry!” You apologize, hissing at the burning sensation of the hot liquid dripping over your freezing fingers. As you look up, you instantly recognize the brunette from earlier in front of you. Your eyes widen in surprise and you realize you had thoroughly drenched his coat. You reach out instinctively to assess the damage, however he catches your wrist and stops you.
“Hold on. I got it.”
Not in your wildest dreams you could have imagined what happens next. From inside his coat he pulls out a long, weirdly shaped object, a stick you think. With just a small wave the spilled tea vanishes into thin air, the soaked spot on his coat drying up instantly.
Your eyes widen in horror, and you let out a small huff. “What are you? Some kind of magician?” You try to laugh the rising unease off, although seriously concerned by what the man in front of you had just done. He looks at you with a stern expression, realizing he was mistaken, you weren’t a witch. “I am much more than a magician.” The brunette murmurs and with another wave of that strange stick…
“Obliviate.”
The memory of what had just happened fades from your mind. Tom surely wasn’t going to take any chances with the Ministry, performing magic in front of a muggle could get you into serious trouble after all.
A tall figure, whom you recognize immediately, appears from behind the tree. It’s him, he had followed you after all. “Hey” you say, smiling. He nods. Just as you are about to take another sip of your tea, you realize the mug is almost empty, even though you had just bought it a minute ago.
“It’s leaking.” The brunette suggests, pointing to a drop forming beneath the porcelain mug. You check it and it’s true what he said. “Seems like you are right” you reply, looking behind you to see if you had spilled more, strangely enough though, that wasn’t the case. “But why-“
“I’ll get you a new one.” He interrupts, hands in the pockets of his coat as he strides toward the hut where you had bought it from. You follow him, tell him he doesn’t need to, yet he insists.
He hands you a fresh cup of the same tea you had before, which makes you wonder how he knew your choice, but deciding it might just be a coincidence, you let it go. “Thank you” you say, shooting him a small smile.
Tom didn’t know why he stayed after finding out you were a muggle, yet he couldn’t bring himself to leave. There was something different about you. He had noticed it the moment your eyes met, and he noticed it again now.
Both of you just stand there in silence for a moment and as soon as you take in his stern facial expression, you laugh, drawing his gaze to you. “You seem awfully unpleased to be here. Did your friends drag you along?”
“You could say so.” He replies, eyes flickering between you and some children running around nearby. “What’s your name, by the way? I have never seen you here before, and believe me, I know every soul in this town.”
“I am Tom, and not from here. So you couldn’t possibly know me.” He replies, his expression never changing into a friendlier one. “Well, Tom,” you grin, grabbing the sleeve of his coat. “I’d love to show you around then.”
Despite his initial resistance, you lead him through the market, trying out seasonal treats at various stands he has apparently never had before. “These are disgusting.” He remarks, handing you the roasted chestnuts he bought only a minute ago. You furrow your eyebrows, shaking your head in disbelief. “Don’t say that. They are my favourite!”
The next stop brings you to the children’s choir, watching them perform in front of their proud parents. You notice that each time there is a crowd, Tom goes silent, observing his surroundings intently. “Hey, what’s up?” You ask him, finishing your chestnuts.
“I hate everything about this.” He grumbles, and you two make your way out of the crowd, sitting down on a nearby bench.
“There is no reason for you to be so grumpy. It’s Christmas! The season of love and peace.”
Tom shakes his head. “I don’t care about either of those.”
“Poor Tom had his heart broken recently?” You tease, a playful tone in your voice. By the look he shoots you, you realize you had most likely struck a nerve and you apologize.
He doesn’t respond.
For a minute you sit there in awkward silence, the flickering lights from a nearby tree casting a colorful glow on his dark curls.
Ping.
You reach in your handbag and pull out your phone, seeing that your friends had texted you. Tom turns his head, looking at you like he had never seen a phone before. Your eyes meet his. “Some of my friends are going to be here soon. We could go to the ferris wheel then if you’d like?” You try to ease the tension, but he has other plans. “I am going to get going then.”
“No, stay! They would surely love to meet you.” You insist, placing your hand on his, feeling his warmth on your palm. He cocks an eyebrow at the sudden touch and you blush, pulling your hand back. “Sorry.” you whisper.
Your head shoots up as you hear familiar voices calling for you and you stand up to wave your friends over to where you two are sitting. Tom on the other hand takes the opportunity to leave, making his way back to the others. Talking to one muggle was bad enough.
Of course, they tease him on their way back to Hogwarts. He doesn’t care, though. You are still on his mind, and he can’t seem to forget you, much to his dismay. Too friendly, too cheerful for his liking. And who did you think you were to make fun of him?
He had it planned out – sweet revenge.
“Let me introduce you to someone I met just an hour ago!” You turn around to Tom, or atleast to where you think he was sitting. However, there is no one. He is gone. “Who exactly are we talking about? You are making friends with benches now?” Your friends laugh and you frown. “I swear he was just-“
The evening passes quickly and though you still enjoyed yourself, you couldnt figure out where Tom went. There was no way he could have disappeared that quickly. As you arrive home, you sit down on your bed, emptying your handbag, when an unfamiliar object catches your attention. It’s a gorgeous silver necklace, an emerald green gem hanging from the delicate chain. With it, you find a note.   
We will meet again.
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skullfragments · 27 days ago
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PokeOmens - Angel Edition😇
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it's been well over a month but i finally finished all the Good Omens angels' pokemon teams😁 once again, putting the teams together involved a healthy balance of deep thought and ~just vibes~
please ask about any of the choices if you'd like!
demon teams here!
angels and their teams under the cut!
Gabriel: this is the Archangel Fucking Gabriel and NOT as we know him as Jim! I imagine Jim would befriend Aziraphale's pokemon while in the bookshop since he's not allowed outside😆
Entei, Staraptor, Nidoking, Gyarados (shiny!), Machamp, and Raichu
Muriel: many of Muriel's pokemon are from lines that evolve with high friendship! as 37th scrivener, they probably don't have much practice with the battling side of pokemon training, but once on Earth, they meet so many new pokemon to befriend!! <3
Wigglytuff, Sylveon, Hoothoot, Frosmoth, Buneary, and Mimikyu
Saraqael: i enjoyed adding some poke-flair to their wheelchair! this composition kicked my ass bc of multiple large pokemon lol
Aurorus, Salamence, Suicune, Copperajah, Kirlia, and Elgyem
Michael: the most memorable part of this drawing was finding out kingdra is 5'11" - like WHAT?? also felt like a genius when i played around with the loopy brush to make "eye wheels" in the background
Vespiquen, Glameow, Medicham, Kingdra, Raikou, and Glaceon
Uriel: similarly to Michael's, I put stars in the BG to mimic Uriel's motif! i may be biased towards this team bc there's both garchomp and luxray🤭
Garchomp, Luxray, Deoxys, Empoleon, Granbull, and Rapidash
Sandalphon: ngl this one was a struggle bc i don't like sandalphon very much😆 if you follow me on bluesky you'll know that i complained a lot during this one lmao
Emboar, Zangoose, Tornadus, Electabuzz, Toedscruel, and Bisharp
Metatron: this team went through like 5 different iterations. Arceus was not initially part of it (i was considering having God as a poketrainer too and Arceus would be her partner) but given the context of the show, Metatron is presumably running things with God gone so - it's fitting! also i based his pose on Giovanni (team rocket boss) as an easter egg
Aegislash, Iron Hands, Arceus, Glalie, Tyrantrum, and Metagross
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sansaorgana · 1 year ago
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Hiiiii! If you like either version I'd like to request a Benny fic with a Reader who works at some place he frequesnts bc of getting in trouble 🙄🙃
My first thought would be the hospital/doctors office but police or lawyer related jobs could be another option too
hi, love! thank you so much for the request 🥰 I chose a police station where Reader is not a cop but jut a girl sitting by the desk, kinda like Lucy from Twin Peaks 😉
⚠️ TW ⚠️ Reader is coming back home late at night and she is bothered by some guys
I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻
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You shook your head with a coffee cup in your hand at the sight of a man being walked inside the police station. He was cuffed behind his back as two big policemen were pushing him by his shoulders.
“Hi, (Y/N),” he winked at you as he walked past your desk. “How are you today?”
“Great, Mr. Cross. You?” You teased him as you addressed him officially.
“Not so good,” he chuckled with a shake of his head and the policemen pushed him to walk faster as they escorted him to his cell.
Benjamin Cross. You knew all his personal information by heart now. You knew his ID number more than your own. Working at the police station was never boring and you had your favourites amongst the Chicago criminals but Benny Cross was definitely your favourite. He had that bad boy charm and sexy mystery behind those baby blue eyes. He reminded you of a wild lion with his golden beard and blond hair. He was a biker – a man of the road, a personification of freedom. Well, hardly, to be honest. Because he was spending way too many nights in the cell for a man loving freedom so much.
Another thing you knew by heart was the phone number to the club where his friends worked. It was the phone call he always wanted to make so you dialled it already after putting the coffee cup down.
“Hi,” you said after some man with an unpleasant voice answered. “It’s the police station. Your friend Benny’s here again,” you informed him.
“Thanks,” he only said and hung up on you.
One of the policemen that had been dragging Benny now approached your desk and dropped a few files on it with a sigh.
“Cross, Benjamin,” he told you and you rolled your eyes.
“I know,” you laughed. “What again?”
“Speed limit. Caused a few crushes,” the man explained. “If I see his face once again, I’m gonna turn it to pulp, I swear.”
“No, don’t,” you giggled and he shook his head.
“Women,” he commented and walked away.
You put the papers aside and fixed your skirt before standing up to go to see Benny. You walked past the cells until you spotted him laying on the bed in an empty cell at the end of the corridor. He had used to be locked with other men but he had been starting fights and since then he was given a single cell.
“I called your friends already,” you told him as you leaned on the metal bars and he raised an eyebrow at you with a smug smile.
“Thanks, doll.”
“You must like it here, huh?” You asked, playfully.
“Well, I don’t hate it,” he answered. “As long as you work here,” he added and sat up on the bed to lean back on the wall. “Can you get me a cigarette?”
“I can,” you sighed and walked back to your desk.
It was confusing, really. The way you liked him although you shouldn’t. The way you enjoyed his teasing and his flirting although you knew he probably was like that with half of the city. And if it was any other man, you would tell him to go to hell. But Benny was already coming from there. And he was making you feel intrigued about it.
You grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter that you kept in your desk. You took one cigarette out of the pack and went back to his cell. He was waiting for you by the bars and you passed the cigarette and the lighter to him. He lit it and gave you back the lighter as he looked deep into your eyes.
“Thanks, angel face,” he nodded.
“No problem,” you shrugged your arms. “You think they gonna bail you out?”
“Yeah, they always do,” Benny sat on the bed again and leaned back on the wall.
“Okay. I’ll prepare the papers then,” you pointed at your desk with your thumb and walked away.
You worked on them for some time and stared at the clock on the wall. Your shift would be over soon and Benny’s friends weren’t showing up at all. You started to feel bad for him. What if this time they stood him up? It wouldn’t surprise you – after all, they had already spent quite a lot of money on him. And perhaps this time was one too many.
“Hey,” you approached the cell again. He was laying on the bed with his hands under his head as he was staring at the ceiling. He lazily looked up at you. “I’m going home soon. I don’t think your friends are comin’ tonight.”
“They’ll come,” he only said.
“Well, whatever you say. Good night,” you looked down, awkwardly.
You went back to your desk to pick your things up and looked behind you one last time while biting on your lower lip. But what did you expect, really? He was a criminal and you were working at the police station. You shook your thoughts away and left the moment you saw your friend walking in – her shift was just starting.
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When you came back to work on the next day, Benny was not in the cell anymore. His friends had bailed him out at night. You were glad that he didn’t have to rot there but it was making you feel a bit sad that he was gone for now. For some reason you missed him already.
He didn’t even like you, did he? Well, he was flirting here and there but he wasn’t very talkative when you were trying to engage in conversations. Or maybe that was a part of his bad boy persona to be a man of a few words. Either way, he was messing with your head and you didn’t like it. It was not like you had a chance with him. And not like he had a chance with you… After all, you were a respectable woman.
God, why were you even thinking of such things? It was not like he was thinking of you the same way. He probably wasn’t thinking of you at all.
On that day you worked until late and it was dark already when you finished. You ran to the bus station but the last bus had already left without you in it. You didn’t live away but you feared taking a walk in the dark. However, you had to.
You fixed your jacket and started to walk down the street, turning around all the time to make sure no one was walking behind you. But after a while you spotted two men walking ahead of you. You wanted to cross the street but they already spotted you.
One of them whistled and you kept your head low, walking past them as they stopped and looked you up and down.
“Hey,” one of them suddenly pointed out. “Isn’t she that bitch working at the police station?”
You swallowed thickly. You recognised that voice. It was one of the men that were being arrested often. Kind of like Benny… Except this guy was not one of your favourites. He was actually a man you feared. He had been often threatening the cops and everyone working at the station to teach them a lesson one day.
You picked up your pace as you tried to walk faster and faster, you nearly ran.
“Hey, wait! You’re not running away!” You heard his voice and the heavy footsteps following you.
You were in such a rush and fear that you didn’t care anymore about anything else – the only thing that mattered was to survive. The ringing in your ears made all the other noise inseparable and you didn’t look around before entering the street to cross it.
And then you spotted a huge motorbike right in front of your face. It stopped inches away from you as you jumped in your place and swallowed thickly. Its reflectors were blinding you at first but after blinking a few times, you spotted it was Benny on his motorbike. He looked terrified, too, with widened eyes and hands clutched onto his motorbike’s handlebar. He had just nearly killed you after all and it was all your fault.
“I… I’m so sorry…” You began to apologise and you looked behind you. The man who had been threatening you and his friend were standing on the pavement and watching the scene.
“They been following you, doll?” Benny asked as he pointed at them with his head.
You nodded, shyly. Benny sighed and parked the bike by the pavement. He stopped the engine and jumped on his feet. You felt safer now with him around.
“Go home,” he looked at you sternly.
“But…” You gasped. It felt bad to just leave him here alone with these guys. Benny was a tough cookie but these two were dangerous as well. And they had the advantage since there were two of them.
“I said, go,” Benny ordered. You nodded and hurried back home, too scared to look back.
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You couldn’t sleep at night, tossing and turning. In the morning you called the police station and told them you were sick. You were scared of leaving the house, actually. After last night’s accident… You had no idea what would happen if Benny hadn’t been around. What a coincidence it had been, by the way… And what had actually happened? Had he won the fight? Had there been a fight at all? What if the guys had won, hurt him and now they were waiting for you to show up on the streets?
You waited for everyone from your family to go to work before you walked downstairs and prepared breakfast. You didn’t want them to see you in such a state because they’d start asking questions and you didn’t want to worry anyone.
Around ten, you were already after breakfast and you took a quick shower. You changed into comfortable clothes and sat by the TV, not planning to leave the house at all for the whole day.
When someone knocked upon the door, you were startled. The very first thing that came to your mind was that these two criminals had found you. With a heavy heart and trembling hands, you approached the TV set to turn it off. Trying to avoid passing the windows, you carefully approached the front door and shakily looked through the peephole. You sighed with relief at the sight of Benny Cross leaning on the doorframe. There was a bruise on his face but other than that, he looked fine.
You opened the door and he looked you up and down as if he was checking on you.
“Benny. How do you know where I live?” You asked.
“Why aren’t you at work?” He raised his eyebrows.
“How do you know?”
“‘Cuz I been sitting across the street all night long, making sure they wouldn’t come around,” he explained and pointed at his motorbike parked across the street.
“What?” You widened your eyes.
“I saw your folks leavin’ but not you. You okay?” He asked, worryingly.
“Scared,” you admitted and hugged yourself as the cold from the outside was starting to bother you. Then you realised he had been standing out there all night long. “Come in,” you invited him in.
A criminal that had been in your arrest countless times before. Your mother would kill you if she was there. But she wasn’t.
“Wanna eat something? Drink?” You asked him awkwardly as he was looking around.
“Well…” He started. “A sandwich would be nice. And a cup of coffee.”
“Sure,” you nodded and took him to the kitchen. You sat him by the kitchen table and began to prepare the meal for him. “What happened yesterday?” You asked.
“I taught ‘em a lesson. They shouldn’t bother you anymore. But I wanted to make sure they’d keep their word,” he answered casually and yawned. You smiled to yourself.
“You didn’t have to do this…”
“And let them hurt you?” Benny snorted and you pursed your lips.
“It was a miracle you were there. I don’t know what I’d do if you…” your hands started to shake as you dropped the knife you were spreading the butter with. You pressed the hand to your forehead and stood there, trying to catch a breath again. The flashes of the last night came back to you and you fought the tears.
Benny stood up carefully and stood behind you, not knowing what to do to cheer you up without crossing your boundaries.
“Hey, it was no miracle, (Y/N). I’m always there. I mean, whenever I can. I’m always driving around to make sure you make it home safe. That’s how I know where you live. I heard some guys talking one day when I was arrested, they were talking about you in a way that made me realise it’s not safe for you because of your work, so yeah…” He cleared his throat, scared that he accidentally revealed too much.
You lowered your hand and looked at him, surprised.
“You… You do all these things?” You couldn’t believe it.
“Yeah,” he nodded and hid his hands into the pockets of his trousers.
“But… why?”
Benny didn’t know what to answer. He shrugged his arms and watched your face.
“You’re nice to me,” he pointed out.
“Thank you,” you smiled gently and went back to preparing the sandwich. “Do you… Do you want something in return? I owe you,” you told him as he sat down by the table again.
“Nah, I’m fine,” Benny leaned on the wall and watched you serve him breakfast. “I mean, the sandwich and the coffee are enough, thanks.”
You sat in front of him and watched him devour his meal in three big bites. You played nervously with your fingers.
He cared more about you than you had been expecting. It felt nice and surprising and… It was messing with your head even further now.
“Thanks once again. I’ll go home now, need some sleep,” he stood up and you looked up at him with puppy eyes, to which he froze and raised his eyebrows.
“You saved my life,” you whispered.
“It’s nothing, really.”
“To me it’s everything,” you swallowed a lump in your throat. 
Short and awkward silence occurred between you two. Benny looked around as if he was contemplating on something. Eventually, he offered you his hand, which you hesitantly took and felt him pull you up. You stood up and faced him before he cupped your face and joined your lips together in a kiss.
Your eyes widened and at first you didn’t kiss him back out of shock. But after a short while, you closed your eyes and gave in. You placed your hands flat on his chest as you opened your mouth to let his tongue in.
You had always wondered what he would kiss like and it was even better than all your fantasies. It was overwhelming, really. His strength, his smell, his taste, the small groan he let out from the depth of his throat. You moaned in response and Benny’s hands dropped down to your waist and then lower, to your ass as he squeezed it. You giggled without breaking the kiss but he moved away slightly anyway to catch his breath.
“Benny…” You smirked at him and fixed your hair nonchalantly.
“Yeah?” He asked, unsurely, scared of your reaction to the kiss.
“You don’t have to keep getting arrested to meet with me, you know?”
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MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST
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trickstarbrave · 3 months ago
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Why do you dislike a lot of the Nord stuff?
argggg okay fine i will talk about it again. bc i am absolutely certain i have discussed it before
for starters, i am from a family that is at least partially norwegian. i have a norwegian prayer in the kitchen from my great-great grandmother who visited and brought it back. i worship norse gods, and because of this read a lot of history papers and academic sources (because a lot of people will just Fucking Lie about this shit) to get a better understanding of my gods and various other spirits and religious systems that would have been in place in antiquity, as well as tracking how these folk stories have evolved.
but the nords. the nords are just terrible pop culture vikings by and large. they barely resemble any actual norse people, but its very clear they are based on that. and there is a lot of Bad implications of it, as well as it just not making any fucking sense.
a lot of the shitty violent pop culture viking bullshit is based heavily on conan the barbarian. which is weird because conan is not norse at all. why he became conflated with viking shit is beyond me, but i am not an expert on pulp fiction novels or bad 80's fantasy movies. perhaps it is because of the connotations of "barbarian" being given to northern europeans by the greeks (and i believe romans). maybe he is conflated with vikings in the novels or movies. idk.
"well why does that even matter? can't people take inspiration from old fantasy stories and give it a new spin?" it is a problem because of a few reasons.
a lot of these mythologized, false tales of "the great white viking warriors of the superior aryan race" were made up by nazis. crafted whole cloth by white supremacists and used to further fuel white supremacy in nazi germany and commit all the violence in the name of white supremacy. thats why old futhark runes were co-opted by them. thats why white supremacists today keep an iron grip on this false belief and aesthetics. you cannot divorce the "fantasy" story from the fact this "fantasy" was originally created in the name of furthering white supremacy.
we get a double dose of racism in that the "barbarian" aesthetic is just a bunch of non white "tribal" clothes and customs and aesthetics all shoved into a blender, pureed, and then poured all over white people. with a heavy dash of violence added on top, because why not conflate all "barbaric" cultures with warmongering and violence. the only reason pop culture "vikings" are exalted for this violence is because they are white. but other cultures get conflated with a hyper specific northern european raiding culture, and then are treated with violence because of it.
also, i find this kind of militant violence to be frankly fucking stupid and makes no god damn sense. vikings were a specific profession that existed in a specific period of time. most norse people were farmers, fucking obviously. but with this conflation of purely war mongering barbarians with nothing else to their culture besides war and violence means you get the majority of their people being people dying in war.
who is growing food? making clothes? crafting weapons? raising animals? spinning thread? doing the wood working on all these boats and houses? these things are the backbones of society, but are treated as an unimportant after thought or given no acknowledgement whatsoever. instead everyone is obsessed with fucking dying in battle it seems.
the esteemed halls of the dead in norse mythos were not the pinnacle of honor people were expected to strive for, but instead stories told to grieving families who couldn't even bury their loved ones properly, as taking a dead body back across the sea in a boat wasn't really feasible. but now those stories have become equated to the goals in life the norse people had the same way christians want to go to heaven. the norse people weren't even a culture that focused on the afterlife all that much! it was more so concerned with living a good life for the sake of having a good life. the afterlife most people went to would just be a continuation of their life on earth. but again, there is one big nord afterlife in TES, based on valhalla, where people strive to go to after death so they can be ready to fight a big battle with shor at the end of time.
the nord lore and pantheon is likewise irritating to me because i keep getting the vibe they are trying to fit the norse pantheon and stories into a very christian framework. kirkbride's work slightly less so but its instead trying to put the norse pantheon in a different framework, one i don't fully know. but when you know most of the moving parts of old norse religion, you begin to see that its quite difficult to rip parts out and shove it into something else and have it all work right.
so basically i think the nords are a confusing amalgamation of pop culture nonsense, christianity, and bullshit that is seeped in real world racism regardless of how much people want to just. not think about it. it annoys me at best and royally pisses me off at worst. even today there are still white supremacists eating skyrim slop up and racist skyrim content used to further radicalize people to white supremacist ideology. this wasnt even intentional on bethesda's part, but that doesn't mean its not painfully obvious.
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peterspinkrobe · 2 years ago
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Confession - priest!Miguel O’Hara x Reader [part 2]
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Word count: 2,270 (oops)
Rating: mature for suggestive content. Mentions of masturbation. You have a dirty mind… tsk tsk. Religious content. Mentions of parental death (sorry for not tagging last time).
A/N: Thank you for your feral support in reading part 1! The art above is again by @Ejpuki on twt. They drew this moment from part one and JUST LOOK AT IT! They also did a pre-reading which I greatly appreciated. Go support them over there <3 I only tagged the people who explicitly stated bc I don’t want to overstep. Also, I guess I should watch Fleabag? Enjoy! part three is cookin’ in my noggin’
// Psalms 32:3-4
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me;
Rumbling sounds drone from the engine in a constant hum as the bus wheels roll down the asphalt, occasionally shuffling the passengers inside. Yourself included.
The wheels in your mind are conjuring images of too much skin, friction, and want. The mental pictures… different positions and other things that you’ve only read about - all featuring the same tall deacon from your small church.
You curse yourself for both your overactive imagination and forgetfulness for having left your headphones at home. Some loud music would drown out the whir of the bus and push out the flashes of lewdness that plagued you.
Reverend O’Hara, you learned that’s what transitional deacons are usually called after inquiring about the proper title on Google the second you got home from that communion, occupied the majority of your mind. He took up residence in your thoughts without even asking permission and you didn’t know the proper way to absolve your sanity of him. It had only been two weeks since you’d met him, two Sunday services, but you were hooked. This trip into the city was supposed to get you out of the house and help clear your mind of its recent inhabitant.
The methods you were currently using were certainly of no help. Nearly every night, for the past two weeks, you’d given into temptation. Allowing the streaking images of what you could only envision his toned body looked like to remain longer in your mind’s eye. His thumb on your lip, the quick swipe across - became more inquisitive of the inside of your mouth in your imagination. You pressed into yourself and thought of those long, thick fingers. You carried yourself away on highs with only his hands in mind. You yearned to baptize him in your waters.
You buried fingernails into your palms to ground yourself as the scenery outside the bus began the change drastically, pulling you out of your daydream.
Your hometown along the Catskill Mountains was enveloped by the natural world - tucked into valleys of the vast countryside. In the three weeks you’d been back home, you had already gotten used to surrounding greenery. You’d forgotten the toll that city expansion was having on the rows of vegetable and orchard farms in the surrounding areas.
Your gaze out the window watched tree lines and grassy hills give way to glimmers of futuristic architecture as the bus entered Nueva York. The rhythm of wheels on tarmac became a backdrop to the din of honking horns, shouting pedestrians, and blaring sirens. You had only recently left a city not too different from this one, but the drastic change in landscape from the mountains made your head spin. The inertia of the bus braking and accelerating over and over on the intersecting streets only added to the motion sickness. You recognize the next stop as the usual one you and your mother used when coming into the city. You quickly get off the bus, blessing the steady ground underneath as your boots hit the pavement.
Towering structures of carbon fiber and glass dominated the skyline, some illuminated by bright neon light displays, others blending into the afternoon sunshine. Advertisements for fast foods, fast money, and fast cars flickered on screens everywhere. You look to where the bus carried you from and, in contrast, the countryside stretched out, calling you back. Despite the slight familiarity in the maze of metal, the sudden change in surroundings made you slightly anxious.
The steady stream of citizens didn’t help your nerves either. You take a moment to get yourself together before following the foot traffic flow up a familiar street.
Your eyes recognize a food spot from a bygone era and you can’t help but smile. You picked up the pace as you headed to the establishment your family used to frequent. Timeless Treats is still here?! You pull on the long handled door and a wave of music, chatter, and sugar hit you at once. Much more pleasant than the waves of anxiety from moments before.
Entering the quaint eatery, you’re transported into a cozy atmosphere reminiscent of an old fashioned diner. A cheerful man at the front waves you in and shouts for you to ‘sit where ya want!’.
You recognized the vintage decor: rusted signs with cartoon mascots and ads for ice cream floats that cost only $2. Imagine! You select one of the smaller retro tables with two stools and hear a jukebox play a song you don’t recognize but tap your foot along to.
There was more to this diner than what it seems at first glance. A few more glances noticed the subtle touches where the diner had embraced the future where it mattered, with high-tech kitchen appliances that helped the staff immensely. A holographic menu pops up across the portion of the table you're sitting at and you slide your finger along the options.
This bakery specialized in delicious treats with a futuristic flare, with many favorites being popular since the establishment opened generations ago. Your eyes fell onto the pastry menu and your curiosity piqued as you ordered the ‘Time Traveler’s Torta.’
All the hustle of the city had occupied your mind until you were sitting alone at the table. Your eyes scanned the other occupants and you wondered what they were all talking about with their sugary sweets. It made you think of him again.
Dammit. A whole ten minutes without thinking of Reverend O’Hara, that’s a record! You couldn’t help the images of Miguel that fluttered now. Only this time you pictured him sitting at the table with you. The two of you share a dessert and you smile at the thought. You visualize his thumb coming to your face to wipe whipped cream from your lips only to plop the finger into his own mouth. That moment as mass replayed in your mind with differing flavors of spice on repeat.
The torta arrives and you gawk at the presentation of the treat. A classic cake with layers of light vanilla sponge, intricately placed swirls of sweet cream cheese frosting, and decadent chocolate sauce. This sweet was the perfect balance of timeless and futuristic as it sat on an oblong, ornate plate.
You savored the flavors as you ate and continued to imagine a date with the deacon. You ask yourself if deacons can even date and the thought pulls you out of your delusions for a moment. Get it together…
As you scooped the last bits of the pastry into your mouth, you pondered your dilemma. Mom always said that confession cleared a clouded consciousness, but there was no way you’d divulge this information to her. Her hypothetical reaction to your crush on a clergy member makes you shiver.
An idea comes to mind that makes you think to yourself that you’ve really gone mad.
The madness pushes you from your seat after paying for the dessert. There’s a slim chance what you’re looking for is actually there considering the cities expansions. That doubt doesn’t stop you from following a semi-recognizable path down the busy streets.
Every tall figure you pass makes you do a double take. The idea of the deacon brushing alongside you making you smile. You turn a corner as your imagination creates sweet scenarios with Reverend O’Hara and stop in your tracks. You cause people behind you to push into your back and spit harsh murmurs at you.
It was still there.
You were surprised for good reason. You were headed towards a relic of past times, nestled between buildings of glass and metal. There was some scaffolding supporting it as the building you headed towards was centuries old. Other than that - the structure you now stood and stared at jutted towards the sky in the old brick and mortar style you were used to seeing in your hometown.
But the Cathedral of Nueva York wasn’t like the humble church in your hometown. The ornate bell tower and large cross atop the chapel in front of you proved that. The only thing to change about the building was the name as the state itself saw many changes a few decades ago - including the name of the actual city.
You find yourself reminiscing on the few times you’d been to the church as you walked inside. Your family used to attend the fancy Easter services and Christmas plays. Those trips stopped after your father passed, and your mother rarely came to the city at all anymore. You remember seeing pictures of them on their wedding day at this very church. Priesthood is a tight knit group and Father Steen knew the head priest, who extended their church for their wedding services.
Given it was a weekday afternoon, there weren’t many souls inside. Despite the numerous options for seating, you sat in your usual middle pew, aisle seat.
You eyed the part of the church that had brought you here in the first place. The confession booth. Its cherrywood exterior made you think of those eyes that bore into yours that day of communion. You shake your head but the visual remains.
The church in your hometown didn’t have a confessional booth. Even if they did - why the hell would you confess there? To the subject of your lustful desires? So many questions and doubts enter your mind.
Could you really do this? Confess to a priest that you pined over a man in his chaste brotherhood? Think of the judgment!
Another thought occurs to you: their whole shtick was that only one entity could do the judging. And it was confidential. If you received some good ol’ fashioned Catholic scolding and Hail Mary’s, maybe that would be enough to get you back to your senses. Reverend O’Hara is a man devoted to God and cannot be hindered by the whims of a degenerate like yourself.
Emboldened by the potential to relieve yourself of your corrupt thoughts, you stand and approach the far right front of the church. The confessional is smaller than it looked from how you remember as a child and teen but it doesn’t stop you from nearly yanking the door open. You don’t even knock.
Thankfully no one is on the confessing side as you burst into the tiny box. The confined space became even smaller as you closed the door behind you quickly. Your mind races towards impure thoughts of the deacon pressed against you in the tight booth space. His height would force him to bend slightly over you and the visual almost knocks you onto the bench which would probably be right at crotch level…
You remember the times you’d done this before and cry out the usual, “Forgive me, for I have sinned and it has been many years since my last confession…”. Who were you even asking for forgiveness? You think for a moment about the last time you were in this booth. You felt so guilty about stealing from the general store all those years back. This was a different kind of confession. This would hopefully absolve yourself of the sinful attraction to the forbidden.
You start light, fumbling over the words, “I’ve gotten drunk and high, uh, a good bit while in college. I lied to my mother and got into major trouble as a result. I’ve been selfish and lazy.”
The anonymity and the release of it all lit a fire under you and you kept going.
“While I’m in this confession booth, and I know it is a sacred and holy place”, you sigh and hear shuffling on the opposite side of the wall, the priest waiting patiently on the other side. “I’ve been struggling with my faith and don’t believe in god…”
You hear the clergyman start to interject but the voice that comes out of you has a fierce tone.
“I’m not done.” Now it was the priest’s turn to sigh and you see movement through the small slits in the partition, but hear nothing else. You continue. The most scandalous part to admit had yet to be said.
“Father, I’ve been lustful over the deacon at my church.” There’s silence on the other end and before embarrassment can take over you continue, “I’m constantly thinking of him and having impure thoughts that drive me to-“ oh god, here it is
“Touch myself. Daily. With this deacon on my mind.” You can’t stop the heat from painting your cheeks a deep red.
“I feel guilty because he isn’t for me to think that way about. From just the two times I’ve seen him, I know he is a good man who does good things. He’s on a path towards righteousness. He’s worthy.” To your shock, you feel tears form and they begin to fall.
“I’m a sinful nonbeliever. Definitely not someone he could be with, unworthy of devotion of any kind. And I’m not good.” Your breathing becomes shaky as the tears fall harder. Despite the fact that you feel your words are the truth, you can’t help but imagine him there now. Comforting you as you cry.
Now that you’ve finished confession, you expect to hear an outburst of disapproval or at least ‘50 Hail Mary’s’ to absolve you of your confessed transgressions.
But that’s not what you heard next.
You hear your name. You hear your name in that sweet music that’s been ringing in your ears the last week or so. This time the musical tone is cautious. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief as your eyes glue to the wall where the music came from.
To confirm your suspicions, you grab the knob on the partition and yank it back.
Through the small window you see a familiar pair of eyes analyzing your face, heavy with worry.
Reverend O’Hara had just taken your confession…
I pray you liked this, dear reader.
Tagged ppl - @friendlynbhdzero @ceoofghosts it won’t let me tag you @hoelychildofgod
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watchyourbuck · 1 year ago
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I really wanted to NOT analyze this scene bc it’s been done so many times but I’m a public menace, so
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Buck and Eddie and Chris are at Buck’s loft, after a mission and a less than pleasant conversation w Bobby, and here are my thoughts:
We see Buck (who’s upset), cooking for Chris and Eddie, when — in the whole arc —, we never see him cook for Taylor (or Ali, or really, anyone else but the 118).
Recently therapied™️ Eddie doesn’t give a flying fuck about being interim captain, but has enough eyes to see Buck does. His voice softens, and he gives him foot to discuss his own feelings without hiding them bc Eddie doesn’t share them. (Bonus points bc he makes the same face he made after the lawsuit, in THE Kitchen Scene, when he tells Buck ‘not to beat himself up about it.’).
“Lucy is great– whatever-,” Buck says absentmindedly, and we get a glimpse of Eddie’s smug little face. It kind of implies he knows about the kiss, but opts to say nothing. He did, in fact, cheat on Taylor (and Chris is in the room). But the grin falls a little. Maybe he’s not so nonchalant about it, after all. Or maybe, he knows they (she and Buck) never stood a chance. He looks – relieved, almost.
Eddie feels comfortable enough to keep actually playing with his kid. Enough to win, actually. He doesn’t feel that comfortable at his parent’s house (5x17).
Buck keeps talking about this, and even if he acts like he doesn’t care (and Eddie has dealt with that sarcastic-coping-mechanism-tone Buck does one too many times), he’s visibly angry, so Eddie changes the subject. “What are you offering?”
“Right now? Bobby’s famous lasagna.” Okay, this doesn’t scream ‘I’m cooking you my family recipes’ to anyone else?
Then we have The Diaz’ compliments, which not only sound genuine, but make Buck grin. Like he did something right. Besides, it took him ‘three tries to get it right.’ Interesting, when other in the show has Buck not given up immediately after something doesn’t go his way? Surely, this had to be something he was very keen on achieving, cuz he barely cooks for himself.
Chris’ little ‘you don’t even have a couch’ is very funny to me. Because he’s a kid and he’s joking, or being smart. But Chris isn’t my focus here, it’s Eddie’s reaction. We do know kids absorb what their parents feel and say, right? Eddie laughs, so he must think alike. He looks almost drunk — all flushed cheeks, big smile, squinted eyes.
“My last two couches came with girlfriends” and the IMMEDIATE correction Eddie makes. We know Buck is at his most comfortable with the Diaz boys, so we know he’s not putting on a show. What he says – he means. Of the heart speaks the mouth. That’s how he feels about his past relationships, not the correction Eddie makes. (And if you may let me be annoying here, it’s kinda interesting, the correction. It sounds almost – hopeful. Eddie knows it’s supposed to be the way he corrects him to be, but in a way, he corrects him just to guarantee himself that that’s not what Buck meant ((and it’s not.)).
The way that Buck stops, stares and then plunges down on the chair. ‘Right,’ he thinks, ‘the girlfriends came with couches.’ Again, NOT his initial thought. He hides behind a grin.
Eddie is not careful mentioning Taylor. Buck isn’t heartbroken. He even mentions her in Chris’ presence, and we know by history they’ve always been careful. (If you ask me, that’s the reason they didn’t hook up after the ‘you wanna go for the title?’ scene).
“Maybe I don’t wanna pick the wrong couch again.” Please stay here for a second. In all objectivity we’re talking about furniture…, right? This is a three-street conversation, because Chris added himself to it, yet Buck won’t look at him. He looks at Eddie, very intently. As if… as if he’s saying something different with his words. Huh, whatever could he mean? (Faint whispers of: ‘your couch, you, I wanna pick you, I wanna pick you, pick me, too.’) And then Eddie, who is Oblivious Firefighter of the Year (awarded) brings the conversation down again to the actual topic, and Buck deflates, like his balloon has been popped. His eyes literally stop glimmering.
So, is this a conversation two best friends who are comfortable in that title would have?
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myownwholewildworld · 11 months ago
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wherever you go (a joel miller’s ff) - chapter 4
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chapter 3 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 5
pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader.
a/n: hiya! i already mentioned all of this in my snippet post, but i'll do so again. in this chapter we are going down some dark path. probably not wise considering how shit has been going down as of late in the pedro pascal fandom. i have tried to write this chapter as sensibly as i could given the circumstances reader is in. i know this is a sensitive topic so please, PLEASE, read the warnings before you go ahead. i promise i'll make it up to you guys in the next chapter. other than that, i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! i love engaging with you guys. take care of yourselves <3
warnings: MDNI, 18+. please proceed with caution. if any of the following warnings trigger you, skip this chapter. DARK THEME. r4pe threats (it doesn’t happen, but still). death threats. mention of voyeurism. unsolicited dirty talk. slapping. reader is humiliated. derogatory terms (bitch, whore). swear words. masturbation (m to himself). body shaming (well deserved though). blood. violence. gore bc joel loses his shit. murder (but it’s okay because i say so). soft!caring!joel. pet name (dove). reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 36. no use of y/n.  joel's and reader's pov.
w/c: ~2.3k.
tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog
Joel groaned, face down on the ground. His head hurt like hell, to the point where he could not even open his eyes. A drilling pain on the back of his skull pierced through the whole way to the space between his eyebrows. He squeezed his eyes, in an attempt to clear his sight, before opening them. The whole world spun around him like a merry-go-round ― he felt like throwing up.
He motioned his hand backwards to where the searing pain was coming from, only to find a new source of aching ― his right shoulder felt like it was dislocated, but the reality was that he had been shot.
I have been shot, he repeated in his mind.
Why though? He couldn’t remember what had happened nor where he was.
“Joel! What the fuck is going on?!”, Tommy’s voice forced him to close his eyes again. He kneeled beside Joel, putting pressure on his shoulder. “Where is she?”
Where is who? he wanted to reply.
And then it hit him. You both gave in to your passion, and he ruined it by labelling it “a mistake”. And then hell broke loose ― his last memory was your screams before you were dragged away.
Consciousness flooded back into him. Joel sat up quickly ― too quickly as his head pulsed in excruciating pain.
“Easy, Joel”, said the younger Miller, removing his hand to inspect the wound and tying a piece of clothing around the shoulder to contain the bleeding. “The bullet has gone through cleanly. You’re going to need to take care of that wound but should heal just fine”.
“They’ve taken her, Tommy”, Joel managed to mutter.
Doom washed over him. He felt sick to his stomach at the mere thought of what your destiny might be. He should have paid attention; he should have known you both were being watched. But at that moment in time he was thinking with his cock, not with his brain. He put you in harm’s way. He knew he shouldn’t have exposed you like that. He would not have done it had he known someone was spying on you both.
His last words to you basically meant that you were a mistake he regretted. His heart contracted so hard at the realisation of what he had said, his lungs evacuated all air within them. Where those going to really be his last words to you?
Joel gulped down the knot in his throat. He truly was a damned man. Everyone he touched, died. His deceased wife, Sarah, now potentially you too.
Death might be her best way out, that intrusive thought scared the shit out of him. He shook his head at the idea, in denial.
“Who have?”, Tommy asked. Joel could hear fear in his brother’s voice, mirroring his own.
Joel stood up with the help of Tommy and touched the back of his skull, finding the sore spot. It was wet ― blood covered the palm of his hand, which he cleaned on his jeans.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. If something happens to her, I swear to fucking God, Tommy, I will―”.
Tommy nodded in understanding and handed Joel the rifle and his jacket.
You were finding very hard to come back to consciousness. Your thoughts were a tangled mess, not being able to connect them in a way that made sense. You felt like you had been sleeping for ages, but it had only been five minutes. Your heart was beating slowly on your chest, your breaths shallow.
You heard two male voices nearby. For a second, you thought they were Joel and Tommy. But even in your semi-conscious state, you knew it wasn’t them. You managed to open one eye, looking around. Memories started to crawl back ― you and Joel fucking like the world was ending, him being a prick once again, then the gunshot, Joel falling to the ground, two men approaching and taking you away. Your heart began to race.
Was he alive? He had to be. He couldn’t have died. You would know, you would feel it in your guts. You felt like your chest was being crushed. No, he can’t be.
“God, I am gonna come”, you spotted the first man you saw, the one who shot Joel, jerking off besides you.
Had you been fully conscious, you would have retched when he cleaned the cum off his hand on your T-shirt.
“She was fucking that guy like a whore, she won’t mind if we use her for a bit”, said the second man. “I bet her cunt is still fucking wet. But we should wait for the others to get here first”.
You were slowly coming back to your senses, starting to understand the gravity of your situation. By the way they talked, it was pretty clear what their plans for you were. The prospect of being raped awakened your fight-or-flight instinct, your brain racing with thoughts, trying to come up with an escape plan. Either you fled, or you died trying.
You were sat up, your back against a tree, your hands loosely tied up in front of you. You rubbed one hand against the other, the right one slowly coming off the knot.
“I want to fuck her mouth so bad ― I don’t think that lucky bastard did”, you were not sure who said it, but you didn’t care.
“With such a small dick, I bet you I still would have plenty of room in my mouth to be able to talk unbothered”, you couldn’t stop the snarky remark.
The first man didn’t take your comment very graciously, probably ashamed of such a small dick. He slapped you with such force, the ring on his finger slashed the skin on your right cheek. You fell to the ground on your belly, your hands becoming free in the process, which you hid under your body so that monkey of a man wouldn’t notice.
“We’ll see how much you laugh after we’re finished with you and leave your broken body somewhere for your boyfriend to see”, he threatened with a laugh, touching himself again. "Open up, bitch".
He grabbed you by your hair, forcing you to face him, his ridiculously tiny dick too close to your mouth. You pulled away from him with all your might, releasing yourself from his grasp.
Although you put on a mask and pretended this was not affecting you, you were so fucking frightened. Your survival instinct kicked in again when the same ape tried to snatch you by the T-shirt as you slithered away, partially ripping it. You turned around quickly and scratched his face ― your nails sinking in his skin as deep as you could. You thought you hit his eye ― and you wished him blind. You growled like a cornered animal when the second man approached you, while the first one was on his knees wailing like a newborn baby.
“So you’re a fighter, huh?”, he chuckled.
When he got close, you knocked him off his feet by swinging one of your legs sideways under him. That was your chance ― and you took it. You got up and started running, the second man shouting blasphemies while going after you.
You had only run like five yards when a gunshot echoed in the middle of the night. You ducked and tripped, falling to the ground.
You looked back and saw that guy face down on the dirt, not moving. The back of his head was blown to pieces, half of it had disintegrated into thin air. Blood and brain bits had started to soak the leaves under him.
Then you saw Joel a few feet back, rifle on hand, Tommy just a few metres behind him.
You sighed with relief.
Joel had one look at the state of you and wished he hadn’t shot that man. He should have suffered a more terrible death. He felt anger ―no, fury― burning up his insides. Joel was seeing red, not being able to tame his feelings back under control. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins with solace ―you were alive― but also with rage.
“Man, we’re sorry, I’m sorry, it’s not what it looks like, I had nothing to do with this”, begged the man who had shot him ten minutes earlier.
Joel slowly turned around to face him. The asshole was on his knees, his left eye bleeding profusely, trousers pulled down and his micropenis dangling out of his underwear. With his eyes fixated on the poor excuse of a man praying on the ground, Joel handed the rifle to Tommy and unsheathed the folding hunting knife he kept in his boot.
“No, please, I promise you I didn’t touch her, I would never―”, his pleading fell on deaf ears.
“You fucking liar”, Joel said under his breath, positioning himself behind the kneeled man.
Joel grabbed him by his hair, pulling his head backwards to expose his neck. He could see tears on the edges of his eyes. He was young, probably around twenty, but Joel didn’t give a fuck. He deserved to die. Joel unfolded the hunting knife by removing the safeguard, placed it under his chin and slit his throat slowly but steadily. The man gagged, desperately trying to fill his lungs with oxygen ― his hands had flown to his neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but blood was pouring out like a fountain.
Joel looked at him dead in the eye until the man’s arms fell to his sides. When he was sure that motherfucker was dead, he let go of the head, the body making a thudding sound when it hit the floor.
Only then he dared to look in your direction. He wasn’t ready to see you down on your knees, dry tears on your cheeks. You looked like a baby deer in the middle of the road at night, blinded by the headlights. One side of your T-shirt was ripped from top to bottom, one of your breasts showing. You were not moving, your big eyes widened in shock.
Joel did not want to imagine what had happened to you, but he saw semen on your T-shirt and his brain started wandering off to the darkest of places. He was frozen in place for a few seconds before finally approaching you slowly, afraid you were going to step back away from him. He wouldn’t blame you if you did. He put away the knife before kneeling in front of you ― his hands, palms down, up in the air.
“Are you…?”, he didn’t finish the question because it was obvious you were not okay.
“It’s okay”, you answered immediately.
Joel gave you a puzzled look.
“No, it’s not fucking okay”, he whispered.
Then reality dawned on you. Your body had been on high alert this whole time, your instincts forcing you to put your feelings away so you could focus on the task at hand ― escaping as unscathed as possible. It wasn’t until those men were dead and Joel faced you, that you allowed emotions to take over you.
Your eyes welled up, your entire body shaking as the adrenaline abandoned your system.
“I… I don’t… It’s just…”, you couldn’t form coherent sentences.
Joel closed the distance between you two and hugged you. You buried your face in his chest and sobbed silently for minutes on end. His left hand stroked your hair as he held you and whispered calming words in your ear. When your eyes dried up, you looked up at him through damp eyelashes and he swept away the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, the rest of his fingers gently placed on your jawline.
“Your cheek”, Joel’s lips wrinkled as he hovered his thumb over the wound.
You could tell he was trying to control himself, but as the seconds went on, he got calmer.
“Can I?”, he muttered, looking down to your teared T-shirt.
You nodded and he helped you take it off. Joel blocked Tommy’s vision with his broad body while he removed his jacket and helped you put it on, discarding your dirty T-shirt to one side.
“They didn’t…”, you tried to explain, your bottom lip trembling.
“We don’t need to talk about it now, only when you’re ready ― if you’re ever ready”, he spoke softly.
You greatly appreciated he didn’t push you for an explanation of what had happened. You were not sure you could talk about it without breaking down again. You breathed in deeply and nodded again. Then you noticed the blood on his shoulder. You raised one hand, softly touching the improvised dressing.
“You’re hurt, Joel”, you mumbled.
“It’s nothing, it’s not even painful. Let’s go back to the cave. You need to rest and I need to clean that wound on your cheek before it gets infected”, said Joel while helping you up.
You saw Tommy in the distance ― he had been kind enough to give you some privacy. Joel guided you through the trees, his left arm firmly wrapped around your waist to aid you in your walking.
You didn’t get too far though, not even with his help. Your legs were so wobbly you were afraid you couldn’t stand any longer. Joel saw you struggling and with no hesitation whatsoever, he picked you up in his arms to carry you to the cave.
"You're gonna hurt your shoulder even more, Joel", you complained.
"Nonsense", he whispered, softly kissing your forehead.
You did not protest after that again and hugged his neck, your face hiding in the curve of his neck.
In his arms, you felt safe. Your haven on this twisted, revolting earth.
“One of the men said they were waiting on more people to arrive”, you remembered suddenly.
Joel briefly looked down at you. You could tell he was controlling his face expression.
“Don’t worry about it, dove. I’ll take care of each one of them”.
That was a promise he kept religiously.
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thehighladywrites · 2 years ago
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I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater…
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Pairing: azriel x reader, the ic, lucien and elain, and helion mentioned
Summary: angst, no happy ending for him, a bit ooc azriel bc he’s an absolute ass in this. also I can’t make elain the villain bc I love her. bittersweet ending, cassian and feyre being the most wonderul people ever. some swearing, like a tiiiiiny nsfw scene, like it barely counts, but i’ll warn you anyways.
Author’s note: yeah, this was inspired by heather, so definitely listen to it while reading💔 i just think this was the perfect day👀 never again am i writing angst, plus i might have been a bit dramatic when said this was gut-wrenching, i don’t think this was very angsty, just a bit tragic. but i hate angst so any angst is gut-wrenching in my eyes🤷🏽‍♀️ also there’s no revenge better than rising above…
Word count: 6,5 k words
If you see any grammar errors or spelling mistakes, no you didn’t ❤️
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"Y/n, I practically hear your teeth chattering. Here, wear this." Azriel removed his sweater, passing it to you with a hint of concern in his eyes. You bit the inside of your lip to keep from smiling, he was always so thoughtful and observant. It was on of the reasons you fell in love with him.
"It's okay, Az, you'll freeze." You attempted to return the warm clothes, but he firmly pushed them back, fixing you with a stare that left no argument.
"I won't freeze. You know I'm used to this weather. Bet you miss your old home right about now." He alluded to your home court, The Day Court where the sun always shines, and standing on the balcony on a crisp December morning doesn't make your fingers feel like they'll fall off.
You arrived in Velaris to assist with document translations, given your expertise. Your services were in high demand across various courts. And initially, a month-long stay extended to two, then three. Eventually, enchanted by Velaris and its people, you asked Helion if you could make it your permanent home. The support of your friends added to the whole experience.
You slid into Azriel's warm sweater, feeling its comforting embrace. The fabric whispered tales of comfort and safety, an unspoken promise against the biting cold. As you adjusted to the newfound warmth, your heart felt a different heat—one that spoke against the unspoken feelings you had towards him. The subtle scent of his cologne lingered, intertwining with the softness of the fabric, creating a scent that seemed to make your heart flutter twice as hard. In that moment, you couldn't help but let the warmth of the sweater mirror the warmth within you.
“ Feel better?” You nodded, avoiding his eyes in fear that he’d be able to see the emotions portrayed on your face.
“ Thanks, Az. For the sweater and all. It’s really warm.”
The corner of his lips twitched as his eyes remained on you, “Keep it. It looks better on you than it ever did me anyways.”
He grabbed your hand before you could respond and walked back in, closing the balcony doors. Stuck between friends and something more, you felt lost. Wanting to confess your feelings to Azriel but scared it could mess things up, you were torn. The shared laughs felt like good friends, but those lingering looks sparked a longing for more. Balancing this act, you wrestled with risking the friendship for a shot at something deeper. In the middle of all this, you were standing there, not sure which way to go.
As you hesitated walking further with him, Azriel noticed you stopped walking and furrowed his brow. "Hey, what's up?" he asked, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.
You wanted to tell Azriel how you felt, but doubts held you back. As you looked at him, the sweater felt heavy with unsaid words. You wondered if it's better to say what's on your mind or keep it to yourself. Fear answered for you as you shook your head and gave him a reassuring smile.
——————
Later that day, during dinner, Azriel asked you to meet him in the upstairs library while your friends were distracted, to which you accepted, head spinning at the possibilities.
In the quiet sanctuary of the library, the air thick with unreadable energy, Azriel's eyes met yours. Without a word, he closed the distance and gently pressed his lips to yours, a silent acceptance of the feelings that had lingered in the unspoken spaces between you. The unexpected kiss marked a sweet transition between friendship and the uncharted territory of something more.
——————
For over a year, you and Azriel kept things under wraps, not really calling it a relationship. It was a secret, a kind of unspoken understanding. The stolen moments and shared looks formed the backbone of whatever it was between you. You regularly fell in each other’s beds and spent intimate moments together. There was however one specific night you’d always cherish.
You were in his bed, cuddling after he gave you yet another amazing time. Your legs were h thrown over his hips as you occasionally kissed his plushy lips. He held you tighter and ran his hand under your sweater. His eyes were lidded as he whispered intimately,
“ This sweater looks so fucking good on you, please never take it off. I’ve never given anything to another woman, but there’s something special about you. I love it when you wear it, like a reminder that you’re mine. No one else will wear it.” He pulled you closer and kissed your neck and collarbones. His hot breath made yours hitch as he fondled with your stiffened nipples.
Your attempt to come up with a response faltered as he brushed over another sensitive area, prompting a moan to escape your lips.
————————————
But as time passed, the lack of clarity started to wear on you. The hidden nature of it all was both a source of comfort and frustration. You yearned for more, a real relationship, a label to put on what you had with Azriel.
But with the war and Feyre's sisters entering the scene, everything got complicated. Your attention got scattered, and the chaos made the unspoken thing with Azriel less of a priority for a while.
————————————
After the traumatic and bloody war, you tried to seek Azriel for comfort, but he busied himself with Elain. His focus seemed to be on her, making it hard to find a moment to reconnect. The situation left you feeling unsure about where things stood between you two.
As the days went by, you noticed Elain entering Azriel's world completely, capturing his attention in a way that left you filled with jealousy and pit growing in your stomach. Her presence became a subtle intrusion, and the shared moments that were once exclusively yours now seemed to be scattered between you and her. The laughter and conversations, once intimate, now carried a different tone, a rushed tone to hurry away to Elain. A pang of jealousy crept into your heart, and the undefined nature of your connection with Azriel began to feel more fragile. The fear of losing him to someone else tugged at your emotions, leaving you questioning the unspoken relationship you had shared for so long.
You couldn’t even blame him. Elain was a sight for sore eyes, a beautiful girl with an even more beautiful soul. She had only treated you with kindness, giving you thoughtfull Solstice gifts and advice when needed.
You couldn’t justifiably be mad at her.
You’d pick her over you too.
—————————
Maybe you should just face your problems head on and ask him for some advice to break the newfound ice. His grunts were heard as he punched cassians face, getting some blood on his knuckles. Approaching him in the training pit, you hoped he wouldn’t dismiss you. “ Hey, Az, can we talk?”
Looking at you with an unreadable expression, he sharply replied, “Yeah, sure, quick. What's up?”
You tentatively asked, noticing his mood, “ Um, you wanna go for a walk? I haven’t seen you for a while. Also, we’re supposed to meet tonight, are you still up for it?”
He glanced around, eyes searching for an out, “Can it wait? I've got something I need to take care of.”
You felt dismissed as he didn’t even address what you mentioned and used whatever power you had left and asked, “ I just thought-“
"Look, I'll catch up with you later, alright? But yeah, I guess i’ll meet you tonight." After Azriel quickly walked off, you felt a sting from his unintentional rudeness. He had been acting like this for a while now and they way he hurriedly accepted your offer was making you feel like a second choice. But why? You did want to meet him and he did say yes, so why in the mother’s name did this feel so…?
Trying to shake it off, you found a quiet spot to gather your thoughts. Doubts crept in, making you wonder if his abrupt exit meant something more. Left alone with unanswered questions, you thought about having a straightforward talk about where you stand in his life.
“Hey, you okay? What was that about?” Cassian’s tone was so gentle and inviting and it almost made you spill everything right there, but he already had his own issues and problems with Nesta so you didn’t want to burden him further.
"It was nothing. I, uh, I'll see you later, Cas." You hastily departed, your eyes stinging with impending tears.
————————————
He was late. Again. This had happened seceral times before and despite agreeing to see him tonight, his prolonged absence weighed on you. Feeling a bit pathetic, you rose from your armchair and slipped under the covers, opting for a deep, dreamless sleep.
————————————
As war flashbacks filled your mind, and a suffocating panic took hold in the middle of the night, leaving you sweating. You threw of your sheets, gasping as you made your way to door. Desperate, you rushed to find Azriel, your heart beating louder than the echoing footsteps in the quiet hallways. You hoped to find comfort, a break from your horrors, as you hurried along.
Turning a corner, the world shattered around you. Azriel and Elain stood in an embrace, lost in a kiss that felt like a thousand daggers piercing your chest. The air in your lungs disappeared , replaced by a crushing weight that threatened to swallow you whole. Time was lost as you grappled with the horrible realization that the sanctuary you sought was crumbling before your eyes.
Your Azriel wasn’t yours anymore.
Your Azriel wasn’t ever truly yours, a taunting voice spewed in your head
Quietly, your broken heart mirrored the shattered moonlight, pain etched into you, stranded in heartbreak's silent hallway where quiet screamed louder than war's echoes.
He had chosen to be with Elain even though he promised you he’d see you.
———————————
Your heart was in your throat as you went downstairs for breakfast. The memory of Azriel shoving his tounge down Elains throat was still so fresh and it made something in you ache.
The dining room buzzed with the voices of friends and family as you dropped into a chair between Feyre and Lucien, saving space for more seats in front of you. Glancing to the right from your plate, you noticed Lucien, as he cut into his eggs. Oddly, you hadn't known he was back, despite being good friends. Ever since he learned about his father, he'd been curious about your old home in the day court, where his father ruled. You two became fast friends, and you promised to take him on an exclusive trip there anytime he wanted.
“ Hey, Lucien. How was your trip and when did you come back, I didn’t hear you enter yesterday.”
Yeah because you probably cried yourself to sleep, maybe that’s why.
He flashed his charming smile, tilting his head with playful eyes. "Missed me, Y/n?" he teased, laughing as you playfully punched his arm. Only he would crack jokes so early in the morning.
Deciding to tease him back, you couldn't resist digging into the details of his trip to the continent. You never got tired of his adventures, loving how he narrated them with grace and humor, making you feel like you were right there with him.
"Yeah, so what if I missed you? I enjoy having you around, Luc. But seriously, spill. Did you take down any monsters? Save any damsels in distress?"
Lucien chuckled, leaning in with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well, I did fight off a swarm of overeager pigeons. Does that count as saving the day or just a triumph against feathery creatures?" he quipped, his laughter infectious.
You howled at the thought of a flock of birds surrounding your friend, pecking at him while he irritatingly tries to remove them.
The room fell silent as Azriel walked in with Elain, and your laughter faded.
A mix of hot and cold flashes hit you as you saw Elain wearing your sweater.
The sweater Azriel gave you a year ago—the one that meant a lot to you.
The one you had grown to love and was a reminder of what could be.
The one that cemented your feelings for him.
He gave it to Elain.
The one he was kissing last night.
The one he swapped you with and then got irritated when you tried to approach him.
The one who was mated to the seething male next to you.
The weight of everyone's stares bore down on you as Elain and Azriel took their seats in front of you and Lucien. Feyre and Cassian's eyes felt like lasers on the side of your head as you couldn't look away from your sweater now worn by Elain. Confusion gnawed at you – you'd tossed it into the laundry basket, yet there she was, flaunting it. The fact that Azriel didn't seem to care only added to the bewilderment, even when he knew what it meant to you. Irritation sparked in you as you got ready to chew him out, because who the hell wears something that doesn’t belong to them. And maybe Elain didn’t know but Azriel sure as hell did and you had enough of whatever bullshit this was. But before you were able to speak up, Feyre beat you to it.
“Elain, where did you get that sweater? I’m pretty sure it’s y/n’s.” Everyone looked back at Elain as red colored her cheeks, she meekly looked at you as she sputtered her explanation.
“ I hope it’s okay y/n, I didn’t know it was yours. I was in the laundry room with Azriel and I got… Well I, I um, got dirty, so he handed me this shirt and told me it was okay but I should’ve asked. Do you want it back?”
Numbness was all you could describe what you felt like. There was no way to miss the insinuation. They fucked and he gave her your sweater to wear after. And she didn’t even know it was yours, so you didn’t blame her. You found a new level of respect for Lucien, because you weren’t even mated to Azriel and you felt all this pain. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt.
Not having the energy for this you gave her a sweet smile and said something that made Azriel’s eyes stay on you the rest of the meal.
“No worries, Elain. The shirt means nothing to me. Keep it. It looks better on you than it ever did on me, anyway.”
You casually picked up your fork, trying to eat away the tension that lingered in the air. Throughout the meal, Lucien remained tense next to you, his mate leaning against the shadowsinger, his arm around her. The gesture practically shouting that he didn't care about Elain's mate sitting across from him, much to Rhysand's dismay.
"Lucien, I'm full. Do you want to accompany me to town? There are a few things I need to get, and I could use some help carrying them." You extended your hand, and he took it, ever the gentleman, placing it so you held onto his arm with a smile.
————————————
Reaching the pathway to the town square, the open nature felt like a breath of fresh air. Despite you and Lucien being able to winnow, a walk through the cold December morning seemed necessary to clear your head. Glancing at Lucien, you sensed a shared need for clarity. Unable to contain it any longer, you decided to spill everything, the weight of unspoken words demanding release.
“I’ll be honest, I suspected something along those lines. I mean you weren’t being subtle about it. But the sweater threw me off.”
“Oh, I suppose our subtlety is not relevant anymore. Lucien, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and hold you in high regard. Feel free to share anything; I'm here to listen. I can't even fathom how hard it must be when you're mated.”
His sad laughter echoed, tugging at your heartstrings, confirming that it wasn't an easy situation. As he opened up, every word he shared made perfect sense, resonating with what you were feeling.
After wandering around The Rainbow, sipping hot chocolates, and sharing your thoughts, you headed home. However, upon your return to The House, you were greeted by a pacing and visibly upset Azriel. Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked at Lucien who looked just as confused as you. Azriels pacing came to a halt as he quickly made his way over to you.
“ Where have you been? I looked for you everywhere. Why where you out with him?” Hot fury coarsed through your veins as you snapped at his tone. Just who the hell did he think he was?
“Where I am and who I'm with isn't your concern. Now excuse me, I'm going to my room. Lucien, I'll see you around. Thank you for your help.” You stood on your toes, giving Lucien a kiss on the cheek, and then briskly walked to your room, leaving Azriel with his thoughts. Though he certainly didn’t think very long as his footsteps inched closer behind you.
Azriel stood before you with a tense expression. “Why were you with Lucien?” he demanded, his eyes searching for answers.
As much as you missed him and ached for him, there wasn’t a single planet where you’d let him disrespect you and then demand answers like some jealous boyfriend. Anger took over as you stood tall and laid everything for him.
“Listen, I don’t know what you think you’re doing but you can’t talk to me like that. Lucien is a good male, you should know, your fucking his mate and he hasn’t murdered you yet.”
His face was back to it’s neutral state, the state of the shadowsinger and spymaster of the night court. He stepped closer, jaw tight as he spewed words that made your blood boil.
“I don’t want to see you around Lucien again. I don’t care that you’re friends because it looks like you want to fuck him. You belong to me and I don’t share.”
The possessiveness normally would’ve turned you on as it once did when a male tried to hit on you a few months ago. But this just made you want to punch him clean across his face.
“Azriel, I’m not sure you’re hearing me. I may see whoever I want because you’re not my father or mate or anything. And I’m not a thing, I do not belong to you so I will do whatever pleases me.” You stepped closer, interrupting whatever he was about to say.
“Unless you’re actually disturbed, then you’re capable of understanding that you’ve chosen Elain, you’ve neglected me and have chosen her. I don’t blame you, the heart wants what it wants. But atleast grow a pair and say it to my fucking face. How dare you come to me and demand I stop seeing my friend?”
“ Y/n, let me just-”
“ No, i’m saying what I’m going to say then me and you never have to talk unless it’s absolutely necessary.” The last bit of anger you had, fired up the question you had been asking yourself for a while.
“Why did you give her my sweater when you said you’d never give it to anyone. Why would you ever give her what’s mine? From my laundry basket? Are you truly heartless or just plain stupid? And why do you care about what im doing? You’ve made it clear we’re over.” You swallowed back your tears, determination winning over the burning behind your eyes, no fucking way would you cry in front of him.
His words devoid of any sense of emotion rattled you. He ignored everything you said as he gave his stupid answer.
“First of all, it’s just polyester. You’re acting like a child over a shirt. And you’re my mate, so I think I get some say in who you see.” As if his words triggered something, an obnoxious golden thread snapped itse in your chest. The weight of it heavy with sadness and betrayal.
He looked bored and uninterested as he stared you down. “I’ve always wanted a mated and when you first arrived, the bond snapped into place, hence why I fucked you for over a year. And I almost told you about it but then Elain came along and I realized I love her more than I want a mate. You know, The Mother is cruel, she should’ve just made me and her mates so we could’ve skipped this ugly little moment. Oh well-”
A grunt escapes as he staggered back from your punch. That arrogant, hypocritical piece of shit knew you were his mate, he knew it every single time he bedded you, he knew it when you cried and laughed, he knew it when you told him how much you wanted one.
He knew and he didn’t care.
A whirlwind of emotions hit you as the bond intensified. A headache crept in as you turned away and left in silence, your head filling with questions.
How could you face him without the urge to punch again? Did Elain know all this? Did anyone? How could you stay here without wanting to kill him? And why was your face wet?
You halted, a trembling hand reaching for your face. Tears flowed, and a humorless, empty laugh escaped you. You hurried back to your room, sobs breaking through. Collapsing onto the bed, waves of sadness, heartbreak, and betrayal overwhelmed you.
————————————
You stayed in your room, wallowing in self-pity for the next few days without eating or seeing anyone. The House put several plates of food on the table next to you but you just felt nauseous. Your friends had reached out and tried to talk to you only to be met with your silence, it speaking loud enough for them to understand you didn’t want to see anyone.
A knock made you snap your head up as the person persisted. Irritation sparked in you as the knocks kept up. Letting out a sound of annoyance you got up, letting your legs get adjusted from the days of not using them, before strutting over and throwing the door open only to be met with by Cassian and Feyre.
“ Oh, what are you doing here, I think I’ve made myself very clear. I’m really not inte the mood for this.” You sensed an intervention and there couldn’t possibly be a worse time. They ignored you, much to your dismay, and just stepped in and plopped down on one of the plush sofas that decorated your room.
“ Y/n, we haven’t seen you for almost a week. I’ve accepted you don’t want to see anyone but i’m starting to get really worried. Please know that whatever’s burdening you doesn’t have to weigh on your shoulders alone. We’re here for you and if you don’t want to talk to us then maybe Azriel? I know you like each other and have some connection.” Your stomach dropped when she mentioned his name.
"No, absolutely not Azriel. I never want to see that lying son of a bitch ever." They appeared alarmed and confused since you always spoke highly of him. Feyre and Cassian were the only ones aware of the true nature of your relationship with him. They had supported you, and were the only ones shocked about the sweater Elain wore, knowing its significance to you.
"What do you mean? What did he do?" They rose to give you a hug, noticing your eyes glossing over. Sitting on either side of you, they held you as you poured out the details. In the safety of your friends’ embrace, you told the painful details of Azriel's betrayal. The room echoed with the weight of your emotions as they listened, offering comfort and understanding.
"I feel so stupid. I know he's my mate, but I still feel betrayed. He made it clear we were just sleeping together, but there were so many mixed signals, and I just... I don't know. I have no anger left; I honestly don't care anymore. And I know it's not Elain's fault because she doesn't know we're mates, but I'm afraid I'll hurt her if I see her near Azriel. Gods, I really admire Lucien. I wonder how he's gone this long without breaking down." You shook your head as you looked to them. Their expression was laced with sadness and anger towards the spymaster.
“ I’ll kick his ass today at training, I’m so sorry honey.” Cassian was filled with conflict and anger at his dear friend being put through this. And Feyre didn’t look better as she glared at the door as if Azriel might suddenly appear. They were finally both mated and could imagine the pain of their mate doing something like this.
“ Y/n, do you want to come with me and stay at the River House? Maybe some time away from him will do you good. Lucien is also staying there and he has been down lately too. I’ve talked to him and your situations are very similar. Maybe you should talk to him.” Feyre held your hand, her voice gentle as she gave you a smile when you nodded, accepting the offer.
Cassian walked over to your closet and packed you a bag of clothes while Feyre led you to your vanity and brushed through your hair. She pulled it into one of the simpler styles you usually went for. You went onto the bathroom and took a quick shower. Cassian knocked softly and handed you a change of clothes. You felt an overwhelming gratitude for your friends caring nature as tears welled up in your eyes. They approached with laughter, and it sparked a genuine smile from you. Gods, you loved your friends.
—————————
Azriel flew back to The House after spending the day with Elain and dropping her off outside the River House. Though he loved Elain, she hadn’t reciprocated his feelings and it grated his nerves. He threw away a perfectly good mate. She should be loving him back too. As he entered The House, the unusual silence struck him. Cassian and Nesta’s typical noise was absent, and the absence of any sound from you heightened his worry. Azriel anxiously opened doors and searched every corner, looking for any sign of anyone.
He remembered that it was Sunday, the day of their usual family dinner. He let out a sigh of relief and changed before flying to the estate.
————————————
Your wineglass paused mid-air as Azriel walked in, placing a kiss on Elain's shoulder. She glanced at Lucien, subtly distancing herself. Despite her evident discomfort, Azriel nonchalantly put his arm around her. You felt bad for Elain. Maybe she wasn’t feeling Azriel anymore but didn’t have the heart to tell him.
A snarl ripped you from your thoughts as Lucien stood up looking murderous. Elain looked up at him with a hint of relief as Azriel simply pulled her closer and stared at him, face unreadable.
“Get your arm off her before I kill you.” Luciens voice came out gritted and you instinctively moved away a bit, not daring to get too close to the seething male witnessing his mate feel uncomfortable. Lucien was a levelheaded male and it took a lot for him to get really angry, so anyone with half a brain knew not to tread to closely. Rhysand next to him, stood up aswell, sensing that there probably would be a fight, ready to intervene.
“You’re going to kill me? I’d like to see you try.”
That was definitely the wrong thing to say because Elain frowned and pushed his arm away, making her way over to Lucien, calming him down by grabbing his hand shyly. He still held eye contact with Azriel, slightly smiling as Azriel grew angry.
“Don’t lay your hands on her again. If i ever see you making her uncomfortable, I’ll hang you with your own insides.” Elain looked at him with wide eyes and dragged him further down the table.
“Okay, what the actual fuck? What is going on and why are you looking at y/n like that?” Rhysand’s voice broke whatever trance was going on. Your interest peaked as your eyes slid over to Azriel’s only to find them filled with his usual boredom mixed with anger.
You let out a laugh, not being able to stop as you thought about how ridiculous he was being.
“ Well, let’s see. Azriel is my mate and he kept it hidden from me since the day I met him. Oh, and we fucked around for a year or so before he became a dick and started ignoring me, stopped coming to our planned meetings and I finally understood it was because of Elain. But I don’t blame her, I blame him. Hmm… what else? Right! He knew about us being mated and wished he was mated to her instead, and look how that turned out. The one you left me for doesn’t even want you anymore Azriel, how does that make you feel, mate?”
You bit out the last words with poison as you gave him a half smirk. Elain approached you, as everyone soaked up the information. She held your hands in her shaking ones and looked at you with a pained expression.
“ Y/n, please believe me, I didn’t know you two were seeing each other, let alone were mates. He told me you were just friends and nothing more. Had I known, I wouldn’t have ever been with him. And if i’m honest I thought i wanted to be with him, but I want to get to know my mate.” Before she could ramble on you pulled her into a hug, feeling bad for her. She hadn’t know and still apologized.
“Elain, I assure you, I don't hold any blame towards you. I'm happy you want to get to know Lucien. Trust me, he's genuinely funny and nice when he's not being a sarcastic ass.” Laughter filled the air as you and Elain shared a moment, lightening the mood.
You let her go as she got closer to Lucien. No matter how much you wanted to seek your mate out for comfort, you couldn’t let it happen. You knew there was only one thing left.
“ Azriel, I reject the bond. I don’t know how I can ever be with you after this. Not only did you lie to me, you lied to everyone. I’m never going to trust you completely and I think we need to work on ourselves. But it won’t be with each other.” With that you turned on your heel and left for your room, leaving behind a shattered bond and pleading a mate.
———————————————
Azriel's three-month-long begging for a second chance haunted you, likely triggered by witnessing Elain and Lucien's kiss in the courtyard. While you were happy for them, a lingering sadness stayed you, realizing you would never experience a shared bond. Azriel had robbed you of the beauty of a mating bond, and forgiveness felt out of the question. Suffocated by him, you made your way to Feyre and Rhysand's office, ready to ask the dreaded question that had lingered within you for a while.
“ Come in!” Feyre’s gentle voice probed you to open the door as you slithered in. They both looked at you with caution. After breaking the bond, you had been bedridden for three weeks. The physical and mental toll it took on you was overwhelming and some days you questioned your decision. But then you remembered what led you here and just powered through.
“ Guys, I promise I feel much better, so please no more mother-henning. Especially you Rhys.” Feyre let out an amused giggle as Rhys just narrowed his eyes in mock irritation. The weight of what you had to say hung heavy on your shoulders, but you knew they'd support you. Opting for honesty, you decided to rip off the bandaid.
“ I want to move back to the Day Court. I love it here but I miss my home, my siblings, my parents, my friends. I wasn’t supposed to stay this long and even though I love velaris, I can’t live here so close to… him. Not only that but I’ve been sending letters to Helion and he is very eager to meet Lucien and has asked me to check if he wants to come.” You decided to drop the last bomb, asking them for a huge favor.
“I also wanted to see if you could erase my memories of Azriel. Not everything, just the whole fiasco. I genuinely want to move on, and I feel like I won't be able to if I keep dwelling on it. Believe me, I've tried to avoid him and the situation for the past months, but the thoughts still linger.”
They were silent for a moment, likely speaking to each other through their mind. You met their saddened eyes as they nodded.
“I'm sorry you feel this way, Y/n. I genuinely wanted you to feel at home here, but of course we won't force you to stay. We'll erase the memories, but only if you promise to visit someday. Perhaps even let us come to you? I've heard the Day Court's sun is not to be played with, almost rivaling the Summer Court.” You giggled and nodded at Rhysand's words, tears streaming down your face – a mix of happiness and sadness. Overwhelmed with emotions, you embraced them as they gave you a big hug, one of the last you realized.
————————————
You surveyed your now empty room, memories of passionate moments and heartfelt kisses with Azriel lingering in the air. It felt like a distant past, a different life, a different version of you. Shouldering your bag, you descended the stairs. Rhysand had winnowed all your belongings back to your old quarters in Helion's palace. Lucien and Elain, already packed, awaited you at the breakfast table. It was time to share one last meal as residents of this house.
After announcing the news, Lucien and Elain asked if they could join you, insisting on the top-class tour of the court you had promised him. Delighted, you agreed, more than happy to bring your friends along as you all headed back home.
The table was filled with your friends as you shared one last meal, Azriel's seat empty as he was out on a mission. Unable to face him in fear of lingering emotions, you insisted on leaving while he was away.
Feyre stood at the head of the table, a mix of emotions visible in her eyes. She cleared her throat, capturing everyone's attention.
“Today marks the beginning of a new chapter for Y/n, Lucien, and Elain. Though farewells are always bittersweet, we must embrace change and growth. Y/n, you've been a cherished member of our court and a life-long friend, and while your path diverges, our bonds remain unbroken. Never forget that you will always have a home here.”
She smiled warmly, addressing each one individually, “Lucien, my first and dear fae friend, Elain, my kind older sister, your presence has brought joy to our home. The Day Court awaits, and I have no doubt that your light will shine brightly there.”
She raised her glass, “To new beginnings, may your paths be lit by the stars that connect us all. Safe travels, my friends.”
The room echoed with the clinking of glasses, a heartfelt farewell lingering in the air.
————————————
After tearful goodbyes, Feyre and Rhysand exchanged a glance, understanding the weight of your request. Pulling you aside, Feyre spoke softly, “Are you ready for this?"
You nodded, feeling Rhysand place a gentle hand on your forehead as Feyre held the back of your head. Together, they wove their magic, erasing the memories of Azriel and the pain attached to them. As the magic settled, you blinked, a new easiness in your eyes.
Rhys offered a reassuring smile, “May this bring you peace on your journey, Y/n.” You gave them a final hug, walking back to Lucien and Elain and winnowed back to your home.
—————
TWO YEARS LATER
At Helion's annual grand ball, you moved through the crowd, the vibrant atmosphere alive with laughter and music. You glanced around as you spotted your friends.
Approaching your dear friends, you hugged and greeted all of your friends, updating them about your life as you heared the uptade of theirs. Then, unexpectedly, you found yourself face to face with Azriel. His expression revealed a mix of confusion and curiosity. This was the first time you had met him simce you moved. Your friends told you that he was often gone on long missions, only staying briefly to report to Feyre and Rhysand before heading back out. Unbeknownst to you, your friends had slowly decreased their conversations and meetings with Azriel and he was now more of an employee than a friend. They loved both of you but there was no way to just let him back in as a dear friend after what he did.
“Hi, Azriel. It’s been a while. How’s everything going?”
He nodded, "Indeed. I must admit, I'm surprised to see you here."
You chuckled, “Really? I mean it is my home after all. Why is it shocking?”
Azriel furrowed his brows, "I thought... after everything, you hated me."
Your eyes widened in confusion, “Hate? I don’t know what you mean, Azriel. Why would I hate you? You’re a dear friend of mine.”
Realization dawned in Azriel's eyes, “Your memories...” But before he could continue, Rhysand pulled him away.
Azriel's realization hit him hard. The weight of the moment pressed upon him, and he felt a deep sense of remorse. Seeing you free from the memories, both good and bad, brought a profound ache.
He swallowed hard, the truth settling heavily in his chest. He had caused so much pain that you chose to erase him from your mind. A sickness crept over him, the regret of his actions piercing through as he watched you move through the ball, blissfully unaware of the history you once shared. Surrounded by the festive atmosphere, he felt a deep loss and the haunting echo of an irreversible mistake.
You looked happier and healthier than you had ever been. Deciding to not disturb the peace you created, he simply disappeared into his shadows, seeking out their comfort as he always had.
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ludolka · 2 months ago
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Ooooo sorry I’ve had another thought so adding onto the ask I just sent abt the ritual
Maybe merely the act of doing the ritual permanently paranormally messed up the area he did it in, so like the space itself glitches technology in the same way grian does. Maybe the effects bleed through and behave similar to grins hallucination powers like people, like they start seeing shadows in corners and movement, and their reflections behaving idle but the second they try to look closer everything’s normal again. Maybe it gets worse the closer you get to the actual ritual site. Maybe if grian actually goes there his powers get severely amped up to the point he’s struggling to keep them unnoticed by people around him.
I have a bit of time again, so I’m gonna try to quickly reply to this bc this has been rotating in my mind since I read it-
Amazing idea, 10/10, I very much love this
I really like the idea that this place has been altered to the point it’s still very noticeable even after 10 years. It makes sense, a literal god was there after all, I’d imagine that messing up the energetic field of any place. Maybe the place has like a very specific vibe, like you can taste ozone before lightning kind of vibe.
And I could see this place being pretty much untouched, no graffiti, no trash, no cigarette buds, nothing. Anyone who has gotten close to this place in the last decade has just felt that they really shouldn’t be there. It’s also untouched by wildlife, like the closer PT got to the place, the quieter the forest got until they got there and they could only hear themselves and their equipment
I really like the thought that just being there would have similar effects on people as Grian’s powers. They’d get lightheaded, get a slight headache and it’d be a bit like they were on LSD with the environment distorting and wrapping. But it’s all very subtle, it’s not as intense as when Grian uses his powers
And yes, Grian would be in trouble in terms of controlling his powers. He’s already stressed the fuck out as is just by being there, but I like the idea that the place itself acts as an amplifier. Maybe the place would even bring Xelqua out a bit. The others would look at Grian, who’d have almost glowing purple eyes and they could even swear they saw wings behind him for just a second or two
This would probably freak Joel out the most given his recent dreams with a very similar looking Grian
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leafdragon16 · 1 month ago
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So another idea came to mind just now
For Wheeljack's facial mods I heard you're still working on their structure and such. May I present my reference? I've been using a wasp mandible reference for the the way I've been drawing your wheeljack. It also reminded me of preying mantis and tiger beetle. Thought about how his jaws were supposed to split apart, and it gave me an idea.
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I did a few concepts of my own and settled on this for his jaws. It's not exactly canon to your design, but I wanted to do my own take on it and wanted to know your thoughts! Just thought this was pretty cool :D Here's a little bit of what I had in mind!
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This fic just has me locked in and has given me so many ideas and I love it so much
NECRO. GRIPPING YOUR SHOULDERS. NECRO OH MY GOD THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE
Ok normal for exactly 2 seconds because I started rambling and drew some small diagrams so I’m putting it under the cut because this got LONG (and it also is looking like it won’t initially post with the readmore TUMBLR so I will probably go back and edit this post a few times upon posting it lol)
EDIT: Okay it is not posting the readmore for some reason so apologies for any nuked dashboards lol
I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION BUT LET ME FREAK OUT ABOUT THAT ART REALLY QUICK BECAUSE I HAD TO SIT DOWN AND PROCESS IT FOR A FULL 30 SECONDS BEDORE I COULD EVEN BEGIN FORMULATING A RESPONSE. I KEEP SCROLLING BACK UP WHILE TYPING JUST TO STARE AT IT
THAT IS TERRIFYING. HE IS ALL TEETH!! THERE IS NOTHING BUT TEETH IN THERE!!! THERE IS TOO MANY TEETH FOR ANYONE TO RIGHTFULLY HAVE WHICH IS EXACTLY THE AMOUNT OF TEETH EX!JACKIE SHOULD HAVE!!!
ALSO THE CIRCULAR SCRAPLET TEETH FAINTLY VISIBLE AT THE BACK OF HIS THROAT?? OH MY GOD?? I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PORTRAY THAT FOR SO LONG I AM LOSING MY MIND. I AM STICKING MY HEAD IN THERE
OH AND THE ADDED DETAIL OF THE PLACES WHERE HIS JAWS CONNECT ADDS SO MUCH. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT IT LOOKS SO MUCH MORE RAW AND MONSTROUS AND NOT CYBERTRONIAN AND EGHFGRHGFHSGDHFHBDGRFRGRGRGGRR
Ok I will move on to my explanation now but thank you so much!! This is so gorgeous and I love it so much!! This is the sort of thing that would make someone hide their face for centuries and give their teammates nightmares if they were looking it dead in the face (looking at you Ratchet). This is exactly the level of terrifying that I was going for when I originally started writing this fic. It encapsulates it perfectly! He is an absolute nightmare in the best way possible
I have been having a lot of trouble figuring out how his facial mods would work, and that’s mainly because I haven’t been using any references LOL. When I first tried doodling his face wayyyy back in the first post about this AU I used a few screenshots of Terrorcon Breakdown, but I only used it loosely. I absolutely LOVE the insect references for his jaws, it really helps clarify the structure and when I opened the ask and saw them (particularly the mantis) I went “huh that’s actually really close to what I had in mind!” And the got completely blown away by the concept at the bottom LMAO
I originally based his facial mods (or at least how they unhinge) a lot on Predaking. His jaw splits down the middle and at the sides to create two halves (I THINK), and I thought it looked really cool so I wanted to do something like that. But especially now that I’ve been playing with how his jaw works again, I’ve been thinking that it would be better if it splits into three parts like how you drew it. It is more visually cohesive, and it also just makes more sense looking at it! It allows his lower jaw to drop down much further and his mouth to open much wider and just in general isn’t as awkward. I may have downloaded your art both to keep it forever and also to draw a few diagrams, I hope you don’t mind^^
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(I had to take a screenshot of your art bc Tumblr won’t let me download it until I post this, so sorry for nuking the quality LMAO)
While I do like the Predaking jaw, I think it works on Predaking but not on Wheeljack because Predaking’s face is so long and his is so flat. So if his jaw were to split into only two parts it would be very awkward, you can see all the lines in the drawing on the left where I kept redrawing his jaw because conceptually it didn’t make sense. Like I mentioned before it also doesn’t really allow his jaw to unhinge, which is a very important part of his design lol.
On the right however, it splits a lot more cleanly! It just all around looks more natural and less awkward and has a lot more maneuverability. I also love the addition of the teeth on the walls/sides of his mouth!! I added a few in my references bc it looked better and made his jaw come together a bit more in it’s horrifying-ness, but the addition of even MORE teeth just amplifies that. It also implies that when he latches on to something, all of the teeth dig in and make it extremely difficult to pull away, allowing him to just drag it into his mouth and shred it to pieces. If he bites down on someone, even if they’re strong enough to pull away they’re not getting their limb back in one piece. The way the teeth are curved in will ensure that they have to rip through their own plating to get away. He looks like a living iron maiden and I am OBSESSEDD
Plus the way his jaw splits is so much more extreme in a way that is so. LOOK AT HIM. When he opens his mouth it’s like a giant tear separates the upper half of his face from the lower half. Horrifying to behold and also looks like it would be painful even though it isn’t, which is exactly the vibe I was going for. He just doesn’t look Cybertronian. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Anyway sorry for the long rant, his jaws have been on my mind a lot because I’ve been struggling with the concept so I kind of just dumped all of the thoughts I’ve been having for 2+ weeks plus all of the thoughts I had when seeing your references and art. If you don’t mind I may be borrowing the references because they really do help illustrate how a split jaw would work. And also if you don’t mind this may be the canon design from now on, just because IT’S SO COOL!! And it makes so much sense conceptually, I actually cannot put into words how much I love this. It fits right in with the worldbuilding!
TLDR: Absolutely god tier take on his design thank u Necro
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